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PORNO    4'?m2f Pornography Awareness

(scene: couch or three chairs side-by-side facing audience, TV 
remote control, magazine, walkman, headphones)

MOM -- (enters, crosses to couch, sits on one end, picks up 
remote, points it at audience back wall, pushes button, laughs)

KID -- (enters, crosses to couch) What's on TV?

MOM -- This new sitcom. I forget the name. Are you finished with 
your homework already?

KID -- (sits on opposite end) Yes, I did almost all of it before 
you got home. Oh, this show. I saw the previews for this last 
week. That reminds me, this is pornography awareness week.

MOM -- (distracted) porn... ography... aware...ness (laughs)

KID -- Now I see why they need a pornography awareness week.

MOM -- (laughs) Did you say something?

KID -- Yes, I said, now I see why they need a pornography 
awareness week.

MOM -- (distracted) What do you mean?

KID -- It's not channel 79.

MOM -- (distracted) What's channel 79? (laughs) 

KID -- Mostly black and white reruns from the fifties and 
sixties. They never had any of this junk back then.

MOM -- Junk?! This is funny.

KID -- Well, it may be funny, but it's pornographic.

MOM -- What's pornographic about it?

KID -- Can you imagine "I Love Lucy" with unmarried people 
boasting about sleeping together?

MOM -- No, I guess not.

KID -- This one even has a guy whose proud that he's a 
homosexual.

MOM -- Well, he's funny.

KID -- There was never a homosexual on "Leave it to Beaver", let 
alone a homosexual whose the good guy poking fun at the straight 
people.

MOM -- (picks up remote control) Now that you describe it, it 
does sound rather pornographic, doesn't it. (points and presses 
button) What else is on?

KID -- Oh, good! A prostitute in bed with a congressman.

MOM -- (points and presses button) This is ridiculous.

KID -- Oh, better, an emergency room with a botched abortion.

MOM -- (points and presses button) What's on channel 79?

KID -- I've seen this one.

MOM -- Me too. (points and presses button, drops remote control, 
picks up magazine) Well, I guess I'll catch up on my reading. 
(reads)

KID -- (peeks) I read that story. (puts on headphones) It's 
about a woman ex convict who starts her own brothel. 

MOM -- (drops magazine) Well, speaking of pornography, did you 
ever listen to the words on that tape?

KID -- No. But he's a hunky guy and he's a good dancer.

MOM -- If they put those words into action on film, they 
couldn't even show it on TV, except pay-per-view.

KID -- Eeeooo! (removes headphones) Do you know what he just 
said?! If he said that to me I would slap him silly!

MOM -- How did everything get so smutty all of a sudden?

KID -- I don't think it happened all of a sudden, Mom. I think 
it's been getting worse and worse and we didn't notice.

MOM -- Like the frog in the pan.

KID -- What frog?

MOM -- There's a story about a frog in a pan of water on the 
stove. He's perfectly happy swimming around in the water and 
doesn't even notice that someone has turned on the flame under 
the pan. It heats the water so slowly that the frog doesn't 
notice until it's too late. 

KID -- I feel like the frog.

MOM -- Me too.

KID -- Well, we can't watch TV and we can't listen to music and 
we can't even read a magazine anymore. What did people do before 
they had TV and music and magazines?

MOM -- I guess they played games and talked to each other.

KID -- What a novel idea. (stands) Monopoly anyone?

MOM -- That's a boring game. (stands) 

KID -- Leaving plenty of time for us to talk.

MOM -- (exiting) I get the top hat. 

KID -- (exiting) I get to be the banker.

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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