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PLEASURE 6'?m3f Spiritual warfare, drug abuse, sex abuse

DEMON -- (enters sneaking, dressed in black, stops, looks both
ways, continues to exit)

BOSS -- (enters opposite dressed in black)

DEMON -- (turns one last time before nearly running into Boss, 
gasps) Boss! You're just the demon I want to see.

BOSS -- (growls) Wormwood! What are YOU doing here?! I banished
you to Antarctica!

DEMON -- Sorry, Boss. I... I came here to redeem myself. I...

BOSS -- There is no way you will EVER redeem yourself after that
debacle in Jerusalem!

DEMON -- I know, Boss, but Killing Jesus sounded like such a 
good idea at the time.

BOSS -- You numskull! Jesus became a man in order to die for his
people! He WANTED you to arrange his death. And YOU played right
into his hand!

DEMON -- I know that now, Boss. How was I to know then?

BOSS -- (flicks hand) Get out of my sight! You give us demons a
bad name!

DEMON -- But that's what I wanted to show you, Boss!

BOSS -- Show me? What can you show me? Jesus raised from the
dead! He's got us on the run! I have never been so humiliated in
all my life! Get out! Get out or I'll throw you into the lake of
fire myself.

DEMON -- But what about my demonstration, Boss?

BOSS -- Demonstration? What demonstration?

DEMON -- I've found a way to minimize our losses.

BOSS -- Minimize our losses!? There are already fifty thousand
Christians in Jerusalem. Pretty soon, Christianity will spread
throughout the world, thanks to you!

DEMON -- What I mean is, it may be too late to bring the
Christians down to damnation, but, now, thanks to my ingenuity,
we have the ability to render them ineffective in spreading the
word to non-believers.

BOSS -- And just HOW were you planning to render the Christians
ineffective?!

DEMON -- (pulls TV remote control from pocket) With this! 
(points and smiles)

BOSS -- And what is that?

DEMON -- I call it the confusion control.

BOSS -- The confusion control.

DEMON -- Let me demonstrate. (shouts) Send in the test subject!

BOSS -- This had better be good or you're toast!

SUE -- (enters wearing tunic and sandals)

BOSS -- Why did you bring her here? She is one of them! She's a
Christian.

DEMON -- She may be a Christian, but she's not immune to
confusion.

BOSS -- If you don't start making sense, I'll turn you into a
flea and then I'll (stomps) squash you like a bug.

DEMON -- Let me demonstrate. A mere touch of this button will
cause her to confuse happiness with pleasure.

BOSS -- That's your plan? You're going to confuse happiness with
pleasure?

DEMON -- Yes, for instance. When my little friend, here, (pushes
button) contemplates what will make her HAPPY,...

SUE -- I wonder what will make me happy.

DEMON -- I merely push this button that will make her think that
happiness is the same as pleasure. (pushes button)

SUE -- I wonder what will give me pleasure.

BOSS -- I'm not impressed.

DEMON -- Stay with me, Boss. You're going to like this. You see,
the Creator created human beings to crave true happiness. If we
can fool them into thinking that pleasure is the same as
happiness, we've got them hooked! Watch. (pushes button)

SUE -- (smiles, raises up on tip toes) Ooooo! Nice.

BOSS -- (looks over Demon's shoulder) What did you do there?

DEMON -- I just gave her a little shot of pleasure. (points to
remote)

BOSS -- I think you've got things a little confused, there,
demon! These Christians are the enemy! You don't want to make
them feel good.

DEMON -- Oh, contrare, Boss. Watch.

SUE -- That was really nice. But the good feeling didn't last
very long. I want to feel that again!

DEMON -- And now, we give her another shot of pleasure.

BOSS -- No! Once is enough.

DEMON -- You missed the point of this, Boss. The nice thing 
about pleasure is that it doesn't last.

BOSS -- That's right. You hit them once and then you never give
it to them again and they're miserable.

DEMON -- Wrong.

BOSS -- Wrong?! I like making Christians miserable!

DEMON -- You forgot our main purpose.

BOSS -- What was that?

DEMON -- To render them ineffective.

BOSS -- And just how is giving them another shot of pleasure
going to render them ineffective?

DEMON -- You see, pleasure is not like happiness.  Pleasure
doesn't last. We want to get the Christians hooked on pleasure.
We want to get them obsessed with getting their next hit of
pleasure. The more they think about pleasure the less they think
about happiness. And you KNOW where true happiness comes from.

BOSS -- Serving the Lord. Brilliant! What a diversion! We get
them hooked on pleasure....

DEMON -- All kinds of pleasure. Legal, illegal, moral, immoral. 
It doesn't matter.

BOSS -- What matters is that they THINK they're pursuing
happiness, when they're just pursuing pleasure.

DEMON -- And they're useless for doing the Lord's work.

BOSS -- I like it! I like it a lot.

DEMON -- Watch what happens once they're hooked. (offers remote
control to Sue)

SUE -- (steps back) What's this?! Where did this come from?!
I've never seen anything like this. The label says "HAPPINESS".
(takes remote control) Let's see if pushing these buttons will
make me happy. (pushes button, smiles, raises up on tip toes)
Ooooo! Nice! That sure made me happy!

BOSS -- Sheer genious!

DEMON -- What did I tell you?!

SUE -- Oh, but the happiness is wearing off. I think I'll push
the button again.

DEMON -- (shouts in Sue's ear) What about the work of the Lord?

SUE -- Oh. What about the work of the Lord? (looks around,
exits) Oh, well, the Lord wants me to be happy. (pushes button)
Ooooo!

BOSS -- Call a meeting of the demons. I want to roll-out this
confusion world wide. Soon, the Christians will be completely
useless to God because they'll be preoccupied with pleasure!

DEMON -- You got it, boss! (exiting) Say, could we talk
promotion?

BOSS -- (follows) Don't push your luck.

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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