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PERSONAL 3'2m0f A new translation of the Bible gets personal

Bob -- (enters with Bible in hand, stands at podium) Friends, 
our church is pleased to welcome to the pulpit the 
internationally known evangelist, Dr Billy Slokem. Please help 
me welcome Dr Billy. (steps back)

(applause)

Bill -- (enters, stands at podium) Thank you, thank you, 
friends. It is a distinct pleasure to be here among such 
dedicated christians. 

But I must frankly admit that somewhere between the airport and 
here I misplaced my Bible. I wonder if I could prevail upon one 
of you to loan me a Bible during this message.

Bob -- (holds up Bible) Oh. Ah. I...I... (steps forward, offers 
Bible) Dr Billy it would be my distinct pleasure if you would 
use my brand new Bible. (steps back)

Bill -- (takes Bible) Oh! Thank you brother Bob. Brother Bob 
here has graciously offered to loan me his Bible. Thank you, 
Brother Bob. Now let's roll up our sleeves and dig into the 
word... (opens Bible) Well, looky here. It's the New 
International Version. I'll have to read carefully. Ooooh, and 
it's a personalized Bible. (holds up Bible) See here, Bob's name 
is stamped in pure gold on the cover.

Bob -- (steps forward) It's a gift. It's brand new. I've never 
even opened it yet. (steps back)

Bill --  Well, then, Brother Bob I will treat it with the utmost 
care. (to audience) Our message tonight is a simple one, 
friends, It's the story of salvation. It begins with Romans 3:23 
(reads) "For Bob has sinned and falls short of the glory of God." 

Bob -- Huh?

Bill -- And what price do you pay for sin? Listen to what the 
Bible says. Hebrews 9:27 "Just as Bob is destined to die once 
and after that to face judgement."

Bob --  Bob? Where does it say "BOB"? (steps up, looks over 
Bill's shoulder) Hebrews 9:27 "Just as Bob is destined to die 
once..." I'll be darned.

Bill -- Brother Bob, please... (pushes Bob back) The good news, 
brothers and sister is that Christ paid the penalty for your 
sins. Right here in Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love 
for Bob in this: while Bob was still a sinner..."

Bob -- Wait a minute. I'm not a sinner...

Bill -- But it says right here...

Bob -- Okay, I'm a sinner, but I'm not the only sinner in this 
church. What about Brother Leroy here or Brother Bubba?

Bill -- We can discuss them later, right now the WORD is 
pointing its spiritual finger at YOU. The answer for you is in 
1 John 1:9 "If Bob confesses his sins, the Lord is faithful and 
just and will forgive Bob of his sins and purify Bob from all 
unrighteousness". 

Bob -- Now, wait just a minute. You want me to stand up here and 
confess my sins?

Bill -- James 5:16 clearly says,"Therefore, Bob, confess your 
sins to others, and they will pray for Bob that Bob may be 
healed."

Bob -- Well, if you think I'm going to stand up here and spill 
my guts, you got another think comin'. Gimme my Bible back.
(reaches for Bible)

Bill -- (holds Bible out of reach) James 1:19 & 20:"Bob should 
be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry. For 
Bob's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God 
desires."

Bob -- I'm not angry!! (grabs a Bible out of the hands of 
someone nearby) Listen, why don't you finish your sermon with 
someone else's Bible. Here. Here's Brother LeRoy's Bible. It's 
brand new too, just like mine.

Bill -- (trades Bibles) Well, alright, Brother Bob. (opens 
Bible) Let's all stand for the reading of the Benediction from 
Brother LeRoy's brand new Bible. I want to leave you with the 
words of our Lord from John 15:7 "If LeRoy remains in me and my 
words remain in LeRoy, he can ask whatever he wishes and it will 
be given to Bob."


2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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