BACK

PASSOVER 9'1m3f Communion, connection to passover

SAM -- (enters wearing a fedora with unlit cigarette in mouth,
crosses strolling, to audience) The name is Spade. Sam Spade.
I'm a private investigator. In fact, I'm the world's greatest
private investigator. (stops) Listen, I have a confession to
make: I'm in this business for the money. With that in mind, you
can imagine my delight when two different people wanted to pay
me for the same investigation. (points over shoulder to Sly)

SLY -- (follows) Spade? Sam Spade?

SAM -- (not turning) Speaking.

SLY -- I need to have you investigate something for us.
(freezes)

SAM -- Sorry, I have a heavy case load. (to audience) Now, mind
you, I have cob webs and dust bunnies on my desk. So, why would
I tell this dame that I'm busy? Because she used the word US.
That means this is no disgruntled housewife going to get me
involved with some tawdry divorce case. She and her organization
have a lot of money.

SLY -- I could make it worth your while. (offers envelop,
freezes)

SAM -- (turns, takes envelope, to audience) See what I mean?
There's money to be had in the investigation business if you
play your cards right. (looks into envelope, to Sly) What did
you do, rob a bank?!

SLY -- My people have significant resources.

SAM -- Alright. For you, I'll put my other cases on the back
burner. What did you have in mind?

SLY -- My denomination is having its convention.

SAM -- Denomination? As in CHURCH denomination?

SLY -- Yes. And I represent a small but devoted group of
individuals who would like to make communion mandatory for all
churches every Sunday.

SAM -- And you want me to....

SLY -- I want irrefutable evidence that Jesus and the apostles
expected their church-goers to do communion EVERY Sunday.

SAM -- Why all the fuss over a little bread and wine?

SLY -- Because churches that make communion mandatory make more
money.

SAM -- So, you see this fee of mine as... an investment toward
financial gain.

SLY -- (turns, exits) It's obvious that you and I are on the
same wave-length.

SAM -- (continues strolling) Now, this is where the case got
interesting.

FOX -- (enters opposite) Spade? Sam Spade?

SAM -- Speaking.

FOX -- I need to have you investigate something for me.
(freezes)

SAM -- Sorry, I have a heavy case load. (to audience) Notice
that this one used the word ME not US. This COULD mean that she
wants me to investigate a messy divorce OR it COULD mean that
she wants to keep her affiliations private. In this case playing
hard to get raises the ante and we'll see if she has the
resources to stay in the game.

SAM -- I could make it worth your while. (offers envelop,
freezes)

SAM -- (takes envelope, to audience) Now we know. This is no
messy divorce case. (looks into envelope) Alright, I'm
listening.

FOX -- My denomination is having its convention.

SAM -- Denomination? As in CHURCH denomination?

FOX -- Yes. And I represent a small but devoted group of
individuals who would like to obliterate the communion service
from our Sunday worship services altogether.

SAM -- And you want me to....

FOX -- I want irrefutable evidence that Jesus and the apostles
never intended the passover meal to be celebrated by anyone but
the Jews.

SAM -- Why all the fuss about a little bread and wine?

FOX -- Well, quite frankly my people are rather choosy who they
associate with.

SAM -- You mean, they're antisemitic.

FOX -- We prefer to describe ourselves as people with
discriminating taste. (exiting) And we'd like to rid ourselves
of all traces of THOSE PEOPLE.

SAM -- (turns, strolls, to audience) So, now I have TWO
different clients paying me for the same investigation. And
being the very best private-eye in the world, I have resources
not available to lesser private-eyes. I went back in time to get
the lowdown about communion from the horse's mouth, Jesus
himself. (stops) Now. I can see by the look on your faces that
you doubt me. But trust me. As the world's greatest private-eye,
I have unlimited resources at my disposal, including the ability
to time-travel. (strolls) This is Jerusalem: 33 AD.

MARY -- (enters opposite wearing tunic and sandals, steps into
Sam's path, holds out hand) Where do you think you're going?!

SAM -- The name is Spade. Sam Spade. I'm a private investigator.
In fact, I'm the world's greatest private investigator. I need
to see Jesus. (points) I understand he's celebrating the
passover in the upper room.

MARY -- Yes, he is. But he gave strict orders not to be
disturbed.

SAM -- But I'm a world class private-eye!

MARY -- That and two drachmas will buy you a cup of coffee. Take
a hike. (freezes)

SAM -- (to audience) Pay close attention as I appeal to this
poor woman's weakness for greed. (to Mary) Listen, doll-face,
(offers money, sings) I could make it worth your while!

MARY -- You think you can bribe me with a green piece of paper?!
(freezes)

SAM -- (to audience) This is the big disadvantage of time
travel. These people don't even know what paper currency is. And
they don't even have a currency exchange at the airport because
there is no airport. (to Mary) Oh, sorry about that, doll-face.
I meant no disrespect. Listen, let's start over.

MARY -- I don't care what you say. You're not getting into the
upper room.

SAM -- Now that I think of it, that may not be necessary. Maybe
I can get what information I need from YOU.

MARY -- What do you need to know?

SAM -- It's about the communion.

MARY -- What's that?!

SAM -- (smiles to audience, to Mary) What I meant was, the last
supper, the passover meal upstairs.

MARY -- What about it?

SAM -- I represent people who believe in Jesus. Are you a
believer?

MARY -- Yes. Of course.

SAM -- Well, some of the people I represent think that Jesus
intended the last supper to be celebrated ONLY by the Apostles.
And once the apostles die off, noone has to celebrate it again.

MARY -- That's ridiculous! Why would they think that?!

SAM -- Well, during the last supper Jesus said "Whenever you do
this, remember me."

MARY -- He just said that! I just heard him say that through the
door! How could you possibly know what he said?! You weren't
here!

SAM -- (rolls eyes to audience) It's a little hard to explain.
Listen, what do you think? Doesn't it sound like Jesus is
saying, "Listen, you apostles, you celebrate the passover once a
year. And whenever you apostles get together to celebrate the
passover, remember me."

MARY -- No. You got it wrong. From now on, it's no longer the
passover.

SAM -- What is it, then?

MARY -- Well, Jesus is the fulfillment of about a hundred
prophecies and traditions. And whenever Jesus fulfills it, we
Jews who believe in Jesus change the tradition and give it new
meaning.

SAM -- Like what?

MARY -- Well, like the lamb.

SAM -- What about the lamb?

MARY -- The passover celebrates the lamb that was slain in Egypt
to save the firstborn children of the Jews. But Jesus is now our
lamb that will be slain to save EVERYONE, not just the
firstborn.

SAM -- Everyone.

MARY -- Yes.

SAM -- That means, not just the apostles? ALL the Jews?

MARY -- Not just the Jews. ALL the people. (freezes)

SAM -- (to audience) Well, that's ONE client who won't be happy.
(to Mary) Listen, doll-face, I have another client that wants to
make communion... I mean, the last supper... mandatory every
week for everybody.

MARY -- Mandatory?!

SAM -- Yes. What's wrong with that?

MARY -- The Passover is a CELEBRATION.

SAM -- Yes. So?

MARY -- That means the Last Supper is a celebration.

SAM -- Yes. So?

MARY -- A celebration is a happy occasion, when you rejoice over
what Jesus did for us! He saved our lives, just like the
passover lamb did!

SAM -- I still don't see....

MARY -- It's a joyous occasion that people will WANT to
celebrate. If you make it mandatory, you take the joy out of it.

SAM -- Oh.

MARY -- And since the joy of the Lord is our strength, when you
make it mandatory, you take the strength out of it too.

SAM -- So, Jesus never specified that his believers should
celebrate his last supper EVERY WEEK?

MARY -- He never specified how often it should be celebrated.
But he said "Whenever you do this, remember me". (exits)

SAM -- Oh. (turns, strolls, to audience) Well, neither of my
clients will be very happy with the evidence I present to them.
But what do I care? (pats pocket) I got my fee up front.
(laughs, exits)

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
but all copies must contain this copyright statement.
http://www.bobsnook.org  email: bob@bobsnook.org

BACK