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PARTS    5'?m1f Monologue: discipleship, ministry, one body

(actor's head talks to his own hands as if they are sock puppets 
without the sock. Ventriloquism skills are optional)

(enters, left hand in pocket, stops)

HEAD -- Alright, what's going on?!

RIGHT -- (hand held up and speaks into right ear) I have no idea
what you could be referring to.

HEAD -- Yes, you do. Our left hand has been moping in his pocket
(looks down) for the last hour. What did you say to him?

RIGHT -- Lefty is such a victim. Almost anything you say will
set him off.

HEAD -- (looking down) Lefty, what do you say about that? Lefty?
Lefty come out here and talk to us. Lefty?

RIGHT -- See what I mean? He's jealous because I'm the stronger
hand and because I do all the public relations. He's just
sulking because he doesn't get to be in the spot light.

LEFT -- He thinks he's hot stuff just because he gets to do the 
hand shaking and the patting of people on the back, while I get 
stuck with wearing the wrist watch and the wedding ring. Why 
can't HE wear the wrist watch and wedding ring for a change!?

RIGHT -- Lefty is just jealous because I'm stronger and more
skilled.

LEFT -- I would be stronger and more skilled too if the water
glass and the steak knife was on my side of the plate! HE gets
to turn the keys in the locks and shift the gears in the car and
adjust the rear view mirror. I don't even get to play with the
spare change when I'm in MY pocket. All the coins always go into
HIS pocket. Grandstander!

HEAD -- Hey, you guys usually work together pretty well when we
have to carry the groceries or pick up a little baby.

LEFT -- Yeah, see, there's another thing! HE gets to pinch the
baby's cheek and pat his little bottom. And what do I get to do?
Throw away the dirty diaper! I get all the thankless jobs. And
I'm getting pretty sick of it! (plunges violently into pocket)

HEAD -- I think he's feeling rather underappreciated.

LEFT -- (flies out of pocket) I'll tell you what it's like to be
underappreciated. Do you know what they call the second in
command in any organization?

HEAD -- (opens mouth but is cut off)

LEFT -- I'll tell you what they call him. They call him the
RIGHT HAND man. How do you think that makes ME feel?!

HEAD -- I'm sorry, I...

LEFT -- And do you know what a LEFT HANDED compliment is?

HEAD -- (opens mouth but is cut off)

LEFT -- A left handed compliment is no compliment at all! It's
an insult. How would you like to be named after an insult!

HEAD -- I'm sorry, I...

LEFT -- Do you know what the word SINISTER MEANS?

HEAD -- Sinister?

RIGHT -- How many times do we have to hear this?

LEFT -- I'll tell you what SINISTER means. It means menacing,
threatening or EVIL!

HEAD -- I don't see what this has to do with....

LEFT -- And do you know where the word sinister came from?

HEAD -- (opens mouth but is cut off)

LEFT -- I'll tell you where it came from. Sinister is Latin for
left handed. Left Handed! And you wonder why I'm so upset! I 
don't get any respect! (plunges into pocket)

RIGHT -- He's such a victim. (leans over, shouts at pocket) How
quickly he forgets that when it's time to cut fingernails, his
fingernails get cut first! You ingrateful....

HEAD -- Listen, guys, we've got to work together. The Bible says
that we body parts are just like the church. Some of us get more
recognition than others and some of us interact more than
others. But the Bible says we have to work together for the good
of the body and for the glory of God.

RIGHT -- (turns to audience, then to Head) I guess I was taking
myself a little too seriously. I guess I could be a little more
thoughtful of the other body parts.

HEAD -- What about you, Lefty? Lefty?

LEFT -- (exits pocket slowly, peaks around body as he makes his
way to ear) Well, I guess I'm acting a little selfishly. After
all, at least I get to interact with the outside world a little.
Some of the other body parts, like the liver and the kidneys
don't get any recognition at all.

RIGHT -- He's right. If those body parts stopped working, we'd
all die.

HEAD -- "So, in Christ we who are many form one body. And each
member belongs to all the others."

LEFT -- You mean, I'm part owner of my right hand?

HEAD -- That's right. So, what do you say? Can we shake hands
and start cooperating?

LEFT -- Oh, I suppose. (reaches toward Right)

RIGHT -- Oh, why not? (shakes)

HEAD -- (exiting) Alright, let's get back to work.

RIGHT -- I get to open the door!

LEFT -- See? There he goes again!

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