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NEWBOSS  4'?m2f Work ethic, discipleship, laziness, salvation

AMY -- (enters, crosses to water cooler or podium, fills and
drinks a cup of water)

LIZ -- (enters carrying armful of file folders, cheerfully) Good
Morning.

AMY -- Well, good morning! It's been a while since I've seen you 
here at the water cooler...

LIZ -- Yes, I guess it has. (crosses by Amy, continues toward
exit) See ya.

AMY -- Wait a minute. Where are you going?

LIZ -- (stops, turns) No time to chat. I have work to do.

AMY -- (approaches) Who are you and what have you done with
Elizabeth Johnson?!

LIZ -- Silly! I'm Elizabeth Johnson.

AMY -- That's impossible. Elizabeth Johnson used to spend half
the day making small talk around the water cooler. You've hidden
her somewhere. Where is the pod?

LIZ -- Pod? What pod.

AMY -- I've read about you pod people! You duplicate a human
being and you replace them with their double and you hide the
original in the pod. Now where's the pod?

LIZ -- There is no pod, silly. I'm Elizabeth Johnson.

AMY -- Then, why aren't you hanging around the water cooler?

LIZ -- I changed bosses.

AMY -- You changed bosses.

LIZ -- Yes.

AMY -- That's not possible.

LIZ -- Yes, it is.

AMY -- No, it's not. I work in H.R. If you had changed jobs the
paperwork would have come across my desk.

LIZ -- No, silly, I didn't change jobs. I changed bosses.

AMY -- What happened to Rasmussen? I never got any paperwork for
him either.

LIZ -- Oh, I still work for Rasmussen.

AMY -- But,  you said you changed bosses.

LIZ -- Yes. I did.

AMY -- But you still work for Rasmussen.

LIZ -- That's right.

AMY -- (puts hand to Liz's forehead) You're not well. You should
see a doctor.

LIZ -- I don't need a doctor. I'm fine.

AMY -- You're not acting fine. Are you sure I'm not going to
find a pod under your desk?

LIZ -- No! It's me! Really!

AMY -- Then, why are you acting so strangely?

LIZ -- I changed bosses. AMY -- You changed bosses.

AMY -- So you said. Alright, I'll bite. Who's your new boss?

LIZ -- Jesus.

AMY -- Jesus.

LIZ -- Yes.

AMY -- As in the creator of the universe.

LIZ -- Yes.

AMY -- No wonder you're acting so strangely.

LIZ -- That's right. It's like I got a promotion. It's like a
staff appointment.

AMY -- A staff appointment.

LIZ -- Well, it's like working directly for the big boss. I
mean, I'm doing the same job, but I suddenly realized that my
job is more important than it was.

AMY -- So, that's why you're actually doing some work for a
change?

LIZ -- Well, actually, I can't claim credit for that.

AMY -- You can't.

LIZ -- No. I have an assistant.

AMY -- Not unless you're paying him out of your own pocket. I
never saw any paperwork on a new hire in your department.

LIZ -- I mean, the Holy Spirit.

AMY -- The Holy Spirit is your assistant.

LIZ -- He helps me to do the right thing even though I don't
feel like it.

AMY -- So, let me get this straight. You have the equivalent of
a staff appointment and a personal assistant.

LIZ -- That's right.

AMY -- Pretty soon you're going to ask for a raise. You know
there's no money in your department budget for a raise.

LIZ -- I don't need a raise.

AMY -- You don't?

LIZ -- No. I have a golden parachute.

AMY -- That's ridiculous! People at your level don't have a
golden parachute. What kind of retirement package did you get?!

LIZ -- I get rewards in Heaven.

AMY -- (exiting) We'll see about that.

LIZ -- (follows) Where are you going?

AMY -- I'm checking under your desk for a pod.

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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