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MOTHER2  4'1m1f What does a stay-at-home mother do all day?

(scene: bedroom or a single chair and end table)

MOM -- (enters wearing pajamas, robe and slippers, reading book,
carrying a box of chocolates, sits)

DAD -- (from off stage) Honey, I'm home! (shouts) What on earth
happened. Honey! Are you alright.

MOM -- (without looking) I'm in the bedroom. (eats a piece of
candy)

DAD -- (enters wearing business suit, carrying suit jacket and
briefcase) Honey! Are you alright?!

MOM -- (without looking) Yes. I'm fine.

DAD -- You're still in your pajamas. Are you sick?

MOM -- (turns page) No. I feel fine.

DAD -- What happened around here?

MOM -- Nothing. It was just an average day.

DAD -- An average day?! How can you say it was an average day?!
Look at this house!

MOM -- I already looked at it.

DAD -- And you think THIS is NORMAL?!

MOM -- What I said was that this was an average day.

DAD -- How can you say this was an average day, when the entire
house looks like an explosion?!

MOM -- This is a really good book. Have you ever read any books
by this author?

DAD -- I think you've snapped a twig! There are dirty dishes
from two meals all over the kitchen.

MOM -- FOUR meals. The kids have two snacks every day.

DAD -- You don't think it's a bit unusual that every dish in the
cupboard is dirty?!

MOM -- I let the kids make their own meals today. They tend to
use a lot of dishes when they cook for themselves.

DAD -- And what was that WAD of wet clothes doing on the laundry
room floor?

MOM -- The kids wanted to help with the laundry, but they lost
interest.

DAD -- This is really weird!

MOM -- (distracted with book) Huh? What was that, dear?

DAD -- None of the beds are made. There are dirty clothes strewn
all over the floors. There's a mess in the bathroom....

MOM -- Oh, that. I let the kids give the dog his bath.

DAD -- Do you know what the kids are doing now?

MOM -- Last I checked on them, they were making mud pies.

DAD -- Well, they're now using the mud pies as weapons.

MOM -- You might want to tell them to clean up for dinner.

DAD -- What dinner?! There's nothing on the stove or in the
oven!

MOM -- I'm sure you'll find something.

DAD -- There's nothing to find! The refrigerator and cupboards
look like Old Mother Hubbard! What's going on here?! What are
you up to?

MOM -- Actually, I'm not up to anything.

DAD -- You're up to SOMEthing! I know it!

MOM -- I'm just answering your question.

DAD -- What question?

MOM -- You asked me what I do all day.

DAD -- Yes, and you couldn't tell me.

MOM -- Does THIS answer your question?

DAD -- (looks around) I think I owe you an apology.

MOM -- An apology?

DAD -- Yes, I've always thought that I was the only one in this
family who works for a living. But, as a matter of fact, I
wouldn't dare to trade jobs with you, regardless of salary.

MOM -- Why, thank you for your acknowledgement.

DAD -- Now, can we please eat dinner?!

MOM -- (reading) Sure. Let me know when it's ready.

DAD -- (exiting) Oh, you're going to play THAT game, huh? Well,
I'll just order delivery pizza.

MOM -- Sounds good to me.

DAD -- (reenters) I can't find the phone number. Can you call?

MOM -- (exits with Dad) Sure. You can count on me!

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
but all copies must contain this copyright statement.
http://www.bobsnook.org  email: bob@bobsnook.org

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