MOM      2'0m2f Mother is sooooo demanding!

(girls enter together, cross slowly while talking)

MEL -- You think YOUR mother is demanding!? MY mother makes 
me clean my room even when we're not expecting visitors.

TIF -- My mother makes me get off the phone, even when noone 
else needs to use it.

MEL -- (hands on hips, imitating) You could grow potatoes under 
that bed, young lady.

TIF -- (hands on hips, imitating) "There are other people in 
this family, young lady."

BOTH -- Mothers!

MEL -- Does YOUR mother ever give you a spit bath?

TIF -- Only right out in public. "You've got something on your 
chin there." (demonstrates, licks finger pretends to wipe a 
smudge from Mel's chin) 

MEL -- (demonstrates, licks finger pretends to wipe a smudge 
from Tif's chin) "Here, let me clean that up for you."

BOTH -- Mothers!

MEL -- And why do I seem to have the ONLY mother in town who 
insists on kissing me goodbye every time she drops me off at 

TIF -- AND when she picks me up.

MEL -- On the lips. 

TIF -- Right in front of the boy I'm trying to impress.

BOTH -- Mothers!

MEL -- I'll bet YOUR mother doesn't talk about your bra size at 
the family reunion. (crosses arms in front of chest)

TIF -- How about in the pizza parlor, right in front of 14 other 
soccer players. (crosses arms in front of chest) 

BOTH -- Mothers!

TIF -- And how many times do I have to tell my mother I'm 
getting too old for teddy bears panties?

MEL -- How about Mickey Mouse panties?

TIF -- Donald Duck?

MEL -- Big Bird?

BOTH -- Mothers!

TIF -- Does my mother really think I'll be a better citizen if I 
learn to take out the garbage without being reminded?

MEL -- Is there anybody else in the whole school whose mother 
insists on chaperoning EVERY SINGLE school event?

TIP -- Does your mom drag you to all those Mother-Daughter 

MEL -- What is it with all this mother-daughter bonding?

BOTH -- Mothers!

TIF -- "Eat you vegetables, they're good for you."

MEL -- "Don't slouch, sit up straight."

TIF -- "Say please."

MEL -- "Say thankyou."

TIF -- "Do your homework."

MEL -- "You're not going to wear THAT dress to church, are you?"

BOTH -- Mothers!

TIF -- If you could choose any mother in the whole wide world, 
who would you choose?

MEL -- My Mom.

TIF -- Me too.

MEL -- I wouldn't change a thing.

TIF -- Me either. 

(both exit)

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
but all copies must contain this copyright statement.  email: