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MOM      2'0m2f Mother is sooooo demanding!

(girls enter together, cross slowly while talking)

MEL -- You think YOUR mother is demanding!? MY mother makes 
me clean my room even when we're not expecting visitors.

TIF -- My mother makes me get off the phone, even when noone 
else needs to use it.

MEL -- (hands on hips, imitating) You could grow potatoes under 
that bed, young lady.

TIF -- (hands on hips, imitating) "There are other people in 
this family, young lady."

BOTH -- Mothers!

MEL -- Does YOUR mother ever give you a spit bath?

TIF -- Only right out in public. "You've got something on your 
chin there." (demonstrates, licks finger pretends to wipe a 
smudge from Mel's chin) 

MEL -- (demonstrates, licks finger pretends to wipe a smudge 
from Tif's chin) "Here, let me clean that up for you."

BOTH -- Mothers!

MEL -- And why do I seem to have the ONLY mother in town who 
insists on kissing me goodbye every time she drops me off at 
school? 

TIF -- AND when she picks me up.

MEL -- On the lips. 

TIF -- Right in front of the boy I'm trying to impress.

BOTH -- Mothers!

MEL -- I'll bet YOUR mother doesn't talk about your bra size at 
the family reunion. (crosses arms in front of chest)

TIF -- How about in the pizza parlor, right in front of 14 other 
soccer players. (crosses arms in front of chest) 

BOTH -- Mothers!

TIF -- And how many times do I have to tell my mother I'm 
getting too old for teddy bears panties?

MEL -- How about Mickey Mouse panties?

TIF -- Donald Duck?

MEL -- Big Bird?

BOTH -- Mothers!

TIF -- Does my mother really think I'll be a better citizen if I 
learn to take out the garbage without being reminded?

MEL -- Is there anybody else in the whole school whose mother 
insists on chaperoning EVERY SINGLE school event?

TIP -- Does your mom drag you to all those Mother-Daughter 
banquets?

MEL -- What is it with all this mother-daughter bonding?

BOTH -- Mothers!

TIF -- "Eat you vegetables, they're good for you."

MEL -- "Don't slouch, sit up straight."

TIF -- "Say please."

MEL -- "Say thankyou."

TIF -- "Do your homework."

MEL -- "You're not going to wear THAT dress to church, are you?"

BOTH -- Mothers!

TIF -- If you could choose any mother in the whole wide world, 
who would you choose?

MEL -- My Mom.

TIF -- Me too.

MEL -- I wouldn't change a thing.

TIF -- Me either. 

(both exit)

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
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http://www.bobsnook.org  email: bob@bobsnook.org

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