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MISSION  3'1m?f Monologue: missions promo 

(enters, crosses to podium, pointing at it, talking to imaginary 
control booth above audience rear)

These headphones here?

(putting on headphones)

Is this microphone hot?

(points to microphone)

Testing one, two, three, Testing one, two three, testing one....

Good? Okay. Ready when you are.

(pause) 

Missions ministry promo in three, two, one...

(announcer's deep smile voice, bounces as he speaks)

World Wide Missions Ministries proudly presents... the 
opportunity of a life time. Yes, you have an opportunity to 
travel the world, meet new people and, best of all, you can 
change the world....

(pulls back from the microphone, taps headphones)

Listen, can you cut the playback music to my headphones? 

Yeah, I know they kind of want me to go with the African rhythm
thing, but can we try it without the music once? Good.

Missions ministry promo in three, two, one...

(with announcer's deep smile voice)

World Wide Missions Ministries proudly presents... the 
opportunity of a life time. Yes, you have an opportunity to 
travel the world, meet new people and, best of all, you can 
change the world....

(pulls back from the microphone)

Listen, Frank, I... I may be the wrong guy for this promo. 

Why? Well, I was just on a short term mission trip myself and...

...to Costa Rica... 

...Yeah, I did. It was right on the Pacific coast.... 

Yeah, we got to swim every day. 

...Well, that part was fun.... Well, it would have been if I 
hadn't been stung by a sting ray... 

Yeah, I was in excruciating pain for a full day, completely 
disabled.

...No, that wasn't the reason I'm so down in missions... 
Actually, I'm not down on missions at all. I came back with a 
new appreciation for missionaries... and all the yucky things 
they have to put up with! 

Yeah... Well, a lot of the missions are right near the equator, 
like Costa Rica. 

Yeah, unbelieveably hot. I woke up every morning in a pool of my 
own sweat. And I was awakened almost every night by cockroaches 
the size of Lassy. But we were lucky, we were away from the 
jungle. We didn't have the poisonous snakes or the insects that 
leave welt on your skin the size of Ohio.

No, you're right, we didn't have the Christian persecution that 
many missions have either. Some of those guys risk their lives 
just talking about Jesus. 

Anyway, maybe you'd better find someone who doesn't know much 
about what goes on out there. Huh?

Well, sure, I give to Christian mission organizations. 

Why? Well, if those missionaries have the courage to go, the 
least I can do is send them some money every month and pray for 
them.... 

...Yeah, they really like it when you pray for them. Yeah, I'm 
convinced that the only reason some of them are still alive is 
because of our prayers.... Actually, you know, in spite of the 
danger and the lousy living conditions, there are people 
standing in line just waiting to go. All they need is money and 
prayers.

Well, sure, I could say that. You mean on tape? Sure. You can 
even play that Africa music if you like. You really want me to 
do that?

Okay. Ready?

Missions ministry promo in three, two, one...

(announcer's deep smile voice, bounces as he speaks)

World Wide Ministries presents... the opportunity of a life 
time. Did you know that you could fulfill the great commission, 
spreading the gospel of Jesus around the world without leaving 
the comfort of your own home? Yes, by giving your prayers and 
your dollars, you can reach people around the world for the 
Lord. Sign up today to pray for and support your missionary 
representatives to other nations. Make a difference in the 
world. Sign up today.

(pause, backs away from microphone)

How did it come out?

Good. (snaps fingers) Oh, that reminds me, I haven't sent in 
this month's mission check. See ya.

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
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