MIKE     5'0m5f What are women thinking while praying aloud?

Host --   Tonight we are going to demonstrate the PRAYER CIRCLE.
          Can we have 3 or 4 of you ladies to help us demonstrate
          the prayer circle?

Ladies -- (seated in the front row, near the stairways, 2 on the
          left and two on the right, raise their hands in

Host --   Yes, ah, you two over here. Come on up. And one or
          two more ... yes, you two over there.  Come on up on
          the stage and we'll get our demonstration started....

          Okay.  All join hands and form a circle.  Our first
          step in a prayer circle is to have a period of silence
          while each member of the circle relaxes and rids her
          mind of the concerns and worries of the day.  We're
          here to pray for the needs of the church.  Bow your
          heads and close your eyes.  Take a deep breath.  Put
          away all your hidden agendas and tune into the needs of
          the church.

          Alright, with your heads still bowed and eyes closed

          (breaks the circle and forms a straight line)

          let's open up the circle so the audience can watch what
          goes on inside a prayer circle.  But, before we proceed
          let's use our MAGIC MICROPHONE to see if the cares of
          the day and the hidden agendas have been set aside.
          This microphone will actually pick up the thoughts of
          each member of this prayer circle.

          (Host stands behind each Lady to speak and reaches the
          microphone around her right shoulder.  Host signals Lady
          to speak by resting her left hand on Lady's shoulder)

Ladyl --  The iron! I think I left the steam iron plugged in!

Lady2 --  Uuuuuuu. I probably shouldn't have volunteered. I'm
          not dressed for prayer.  Jeans and Tennis shoes...

Lady3 --  I hope they don't expect me to pray out loud. I don't
          like to pray out loud.

Lady4 --  They always expect me to start off the prayers. I
          wonder what I can say that would be profound.

Lady3 --  What if they go around the circle in order? Then I'll
          HAVE to pray out loud.

Lady2 --  I should have worn my grey slacks. Grey is a reverent

Ladyl --  I forgot to tell Jack to give the kids their vitamins.
          He's probably going to feed them ice cream and pizza
          all weekend.

Lady2 --  Oh, gee I didn't even pack my gray flats... Maybe the
          white low heel pumps would be okay.

Lady3 --  Well, when it's my turn I just won't pray. Somebody
          HAS to pick up the slack.

Lady4 --  Sanctification. Yeah, that's it. Sanctification. If I
          work that into my prayer everyone know I'm a mature

Lady3  -- (raises up Lady2's hand slightly)

          Her hand is sweaty.  What's SHE got to nervous about?

Lady2 --  Her hand is sweaty. What's SHE got to nervous about?

Ladyl --  He's probably not going to water the geraniums either.

Lady2 --  Why didn't I pack my grey flats?

Lady3 --  My nose itches. Should I break the chain just to
          scratch my nose?  If I do they'll maybe think I want to
          start praying.

Lady4 --  But, I'm not sure what sanctification means... Ah,
          that's okay, neither do they.

Lady3 --  Lord, take away the itch from my nose so I don't have
          to pray out loud.

Lady4 --  Well, what are we waiting for. I've got MY prayer all
          picked out.

Host --   Okay. It looks like we've finished with our moment of
          silence and we're ready to begin praying for the needs
          of the church.  We usually begin by thanking the Lord
          for what he's given in the past.
          (All prayers are without the microphone, interrupting
          Lady4's attempt to pray, all thoughts with mike)

Lady3 -- (prayer) thank you,Lord, for giving us this place to
          come and rest and recharge our spiritual batteries.

          (scratches her nose obviously)

Lady4 --  (thought) Show off.

Lady2 --  (prayer) And thank you ,Lord, for giving us a place
          where we don't have to be concerned with appearances.

          (thought) But I'm not wearing this T-shirt on the

Ladyl --  (prayer) And thank you,Lord, for giving us a few days
          away from the workaday world.

          (thought) Then I'll go home to a sink full of dirty

Host --   Now ladies, let's go on to pray for the needs of those
          in our church body.

Ladyl --  (prayer) Father, I ask your blessing on the families of
          all the women here at the retreat.

          (thought) Please help my husband to remember to water the

Lady2 --  (prayer) We ask you to bless those less fortunate than

          (thought) Those who can't even afford mascara or eye

Lady3 --  (opens her eyes wide)

          (thought) I'm not going to have to pray out loud again,
          am I?

Host --   Well, I guess that concludes our prayer circle
          demonstration for tonight.  thank you ,Ladies, for
          helping us with our demonstration.

          (all but lady4 walk off, lady4 looks puzzled)

Lady4 --  (thought) I had a perfect prayer with SANCTIFICATION 
          right in the middle. It's not fair.

          (walks off scratching here head)

Host --   Let's have a warm round of applause for our volunteers.


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