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LAWYERS  3'2m2f Marriage, communication, conflict resolution

(scene: two chairs side-by-side facing audience)

HER -- (enters, crosses to chairs, looks at watch, looks around,
paces, looks at watch, sits)

HIM -- (enters opposite, crosses to chairs, sits)

(neither character makes eye contact)

HER -- Aren't you going to apologize for being late?

HIM -- I'm here, aren't I? Do you want to talk or not?

HER -- Alright. Let's talk.

HIM -- Fine.

HER -- We never talk anymore.

HIM -- (beckons His lawyer with finger)

HIS -- (enters in business suit, carrying briefcase) Objection.
Exaggeration. The fact that my client is here to talk disproves 
the allegation NEVER. Please rephrase the communication.

HER -- Alright. To me it seems like we hardly ever talk anymore.

HIM -- I'll tell you why. Every time we talk you nag me.

HER -- (beckons her lawyer with finger)

HERS -- (enters wearing business suit, carrying briefcase)
Objection. Exaggeration. There are half a dozen incidents within
the past week at which my client conversed without nagging.
Please rephrase the communication.

HIM -- Alright. It SEEMS like every time you talk to me, you nag
me.

HER -- Well, you're so immature. You never do anything without
being reminded at least a half dozen times.

HIM -- (beckons)

HIS -- Objection. Assumes facts not in evidence. Please rephrase
the communication.

HER -- Alright. It SEEMS like I have to remind you more than
once to do things that you should do without reminding.

HIM -- Oh, like YOU don't forget to do things.

HER -- (beckons)

HERS -- Objection. Non-responsive.

HIM -- Alright. I'll admit that I put off doing some of the
things around the house that I've promised to do. But I get
exhausted at work. I need to rest when I get home. You know, I
wouldn't have to work so hard if you didn't spend all our money.

HER -- (beckons)

HERS -- Objection. Assumes facts not in evidence. Please
rephrase the communication.

HIM -- Alright. I think you could be a little more careful about
how you spend our hard-earned money.

HER -- I'd like to see you do it any better!

HIM -- (beckons)

HIS -- Objection. Non-responsive. Please rephrase the 
communication.

HER -- Alright. I'll admit that I sometimes spend money without
giving it too much thought. And I'll admit that sometimes I
spend money on frivolous things just to get your attention.

HIM -- Why do you think you have to get my attention like that?

HER -- Because sometimes it's the only way I can get you to look 
up from the newspaper.

HIM -- Oh, Honey! You really do want to talk, don't you?

HER -- I'm sorry for the harsh words!

(Him and Her hold hands and look into each other's eyes)

HIS and HERS -- Objection.

HIM -- Get lost! We'll handle this on our own.

HIS -- (exiting with Hers) I'll send you my bill.

HERS -- What was that all about?! I thought we were doing a good 
job.

HIM -- Oh, Honey, I'm sorry. I've just let things get out of
control. There's no reason to let things get so... adversarial.

HER -- (exiting opposite with Him) No. I just want to talk...
the way we used to.

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