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HIGHWIRE 5'2m?f A tightrope walker demonstrates faith vs belief

ED ---- (enters pushing wheel barrow, walking slowly, heel-to-
toe, as if on tightrope, along front edge of stage)

FRED -- (enters opposite with microphone, strolls to front edge 
of stage while speaking) Ladies and gentlemen, this is Fred 
Nilman reporting live from a specially constructed platform high 
above the Santa Ana Freeway. (reaches edge of stage, begins 
side-stepping cautiously toward Ed) The man you see out on the 
tightrope (points to Ed) is none other than the Great Randini, 
the world's foremost high-wire walker. (shouts) Can you hear me, 
Mr Randini?

ED ---- (shouts) Please don't talk. It ruins my concentration.

FRED -- (shouts) Sorry. (to audience) In a moment we will begin 
our exclusive interview with this unique and talented performer. 
(both arrive at DC simultaneously)

ED ---- (ends his walk with a flourish, standing the wheel 
barrow on its nose, dancing around it, and bowing) Thank you. 
Thank you very much.

FRED -- Good morning, Mr Randini.

ED ---- Good morning.

FRED -- Can you tell us just how high this platform is above the 
freeway? (looks down over edge of stage)

ED ---- The platform, here, is 82 feet above the ground, but the 
wire sags to 73 above the freeway in the middle. That's over 
seven stories high.

FRED -- Can you tell our audience what feat you just completed. 

ED ---- Yes, I just finished my fourth trip across the 320-foot 
span over the freeway while pushing this wheel barrow.

FRED -- I see. You use the wheel barrow to steady yourself?

ED ---- No. Actually, it makes the feat all the more difficult. 
Most high wire walkers use a long pole to steady themselves. 
Others merely use their outstretched arms to steady themselves. 
But with my arms down in front of me pushing this wheel barrow, 
I have nothing to steady myself with except my experience and my 
talent.

FRED -- Can you tell our audience why you chose to walk a 
high wire above the Santa Ana Freeway?

ED ---- Yes. This is a demonstration of FAITH.

FRED -- FAITH? F.A.I.T.H.? FAITH?

ED ---- FAITH. That is correct. 

FRED -- I see. Mr Randini, by any chance are you a Christian?

ED ---- Yes, I am. Are you?

FRED -- Why, yes. As a matter I fact, I am.

ED ---- Then, you know that every step of faith, whether on a 
high wire or in your Christian walk, contains an element of 
risk. For instance, every step I take up here on the high wire 
is a risk that I could end up as a grease spot on the pavement 
below. And if an 18-wheeler runs over my bloodied and broken 
body...

FRED -- (nauseated)

ED ---- ...I would look like a road kill squirrel without the 
fur... 

FRED -- (interrupts) ...I think we get the point, Mr Randini. It 
certainly LOOKS risky. But how risky could this be? 

ED ---- What do you mean?

FRED -- Well, you have repeated this stunt dozens of times 
throughout the United States and you're still alive.

ED ---- That's correct, but,...

FRED -- And you just did the demonstration again four times.

ED ---- That wasn't the demonstration.

FRED -- It wasn't?

ED ---- No. The four trips over the freeway were just a warmup 
to get everyone's attention.

FRED -- Well, you certainly have our attention. What IS the 
demonstration of faith.

ED ---- I'm going to do it again with YOU riding the wheel 
barrow. 

FRED -- You're kidding, right?

ED ---- I believe you called it a slam dunk.

FRED -- I believe YOU called it road kill.

ED ---- Didn't you just say that I've done this stunt all over 
the nation?

FRED -- All I can think about now (looks down) is a grease spot 
on the pavement.

ED ---- I'll bet you don't do anything risky.

FRED -- Yes, I do. I take risks all the time.

ED ---- Name one.

FRED -- I sometimes go to restaurants without calling ahead for 
a reservation.

ED ---- Death defying.

FRED -- I once pulled that "DO NOT REMOVE" tag off my mattress.

ED ---- Excuse me while I yawn.

FRED -- What do you want from me?

ED ---- The same thing the Lord wants from you.

FRED -- What's that?

ED ---- Trust him.

FRED -- I DO trust him.

ED ---- Do you tithe?

FRED -- Well, I, ah...

ED ---- Tithing is nothing more than trusting the Lord to help 
you to live on 90% of your income.

FRED -- I'll do that some day.

ED ---- Have you ever lead a Bible study?

FRED -- Do you know how much time it takes to prepare for a 
Bible study? I'm a very busy man!

ED ---- Let me get this right. Do you believe that Lord of the 
universe created billions of stars like our sun?

FRED -- Yes, I do.

ED ---- But you don't believe that he's powerful enough to 
somehow give you enough time to do his work and yours too?

FRED -- Well, I suppose I do, but...

ED ---- But, you're not brave enough to take the risk and give 
it a try.

FRED -- How did this discussion get focused on me? I'm supposed 
to interview you.

ED ---- Get into the Lord's wheel barrow, Fred. His track record 
is even better than mine. 

FRED -- Well, I MAY get into the Lord's wheel barrow. But I'm 
not getting into yours. 

ED ---- Suit yourself. But remember, the greater the risk, the 
greater the rewards. (exits heel and toe, pushing wheel barrow, 
shouts) Are you with me, Lord? Let's show them how it's done. 
One step at a time.

FRED -- (side-steps to exit) This is Fred Nilman returning you 
to news central. (looks back at Ed, speaks to self) I take 
risks. I sometimes wear my pants without suspenders. I've even 
struck a match without closing the cover.


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