BACK

HERESY   5'?m2f Cults and heresy: clashing with the Bible

(both actors wear business attire)

AMY -- (enters, crosses to podium, digs in pocket or wallet for
quarter, deposits quarter, removes styro cup, turns toward exit
raising cup to lips)

LIZ -- (enters opposite, crosses quickly to Amy) Oh! You're just
the person I wanted to see.

AMY -- (turns) Excuse me?

LIZ -- You're just the person I wanted to see. (digs in pocket
or purse for quarter, deposits quarter, removes styro cup) I've
got some terrific news.

AMY -- I'm sorry, (points over shoulder) You're not from my
department, are you? Have we met?

LIZ -- No. We haven't met. But I've seen you in the cafeteria.

AMY -- Uh huh.

LIZ -- Yeah, I've seen you leading that Bible study at lunch
time.

AMY -- Uh huh.

LIZ -- I... I'm a Christian too, you know.

AMY -- I see. Well, would you like to join our Bible study?

LIZ -- Not really. I get my revelations directly from God.

AMY -- I see. So, you're a prophet.

LIZ -- Yes, I thought you'd like to hear about my latest...

AMY -- True prophets are a very rare breed, you know.

LIZ -- They are? I mean, we are?

AMY -- Yes, the nation of Israel often went for hundreds of
years without hearing a direct revelation from God through a
prophet.

LIZ -- No kidding. So, I was right then. I've probably got a
pretty hot commodity here, huh?

AMY -- Hot commodity?

LIZ -- I had a huge revelation last night.

AMY -- Being a prophet is a huge responsibility, you know.

LIZ -- Yes, and I'll bet there's a big book deal in it for me
too.

AMY -- I'm not so sure.

LIZ -- I might even start my own church, you know, my own,
what-you-may-call-it, denomination.

AMY -- Wo! Slow down! Shouldn't you be sure if this revelation
is really from God?

LIZ -- Well, of course it's from God. Who else would it be from?

AMY -- Well, I can think of a couple of...

LIZ -- ...Okay, let me tell you my revelation....

AMY -- (points over shoulder) ...Listen, I really should be
getting back to work. Maybe you should stop by my table in the
cafeteria at lunch....

LIZ -- This will only take a minute. It's really spectacular.
Okay, so I was talking to this salamander....

AMY -- Excuse me? Did you say a salamander?

LIZ -- Yes.

AMY -- You were TALKING to a salamander?

LIZ -- Yes, in my dream... my revelation. Anyway, he said...

AMY -- Listen, I hate to be sceptical. But how do you know this
dream of yours didn't come from eating bad pizza?

LIZ -- I didn't eat any pizza last night. So, anyway, this
salamander told me the true identity of Jesus.

AMY -- I thought we already knew the true identity of Jesus.

LIZ -- Oh contrare! According to the salamander, Jesus was
really the brother of Satan and...

AMY -- ...Bad pizza.

LIZ -- Excuse me?

AMY -- How many people have you told this revelation to?

LIZ -- You're the first. I wanted you to hear the good news
first.

AMY -- And how is this good news?

LIZ -- Well, everybody thought that Jesus was just a guy. But
he's really the brother of Satan and in this struggle for
power...

AMY -- ...Bad pizza.

LIZ -- You keep talking about pizza! Are you hungry?

AMY -- Listen, there's a couple of things you should know about
prophecy.

LIZ -- Alright, I'm listening. But make it snappy. The best part
of the prophecy is coming up.

AMY -- If you're prophecy is really from God, it can't disagree
with the Bible.

LIZ -- It can't? Why not?

AMY -- Because the Bible is the word of God. And God would never
disagree with himself.

LIZ -- Oh, well, that's no problem. This prophecy doesn't
disagree with the Bible. This prophecy just fills in the
details. It tells you where Jesus came from before he was a baby
in Bethlehem. And now we know "the rest of the story".

AMY -- Oh, but, we already knew "the rest of the story".

LIZ -- We did?

AMY -- Yes, from cover to cover, the Bible teaches that Jesus is
God himself.

LIZ -- Naw!

AMY -- Yes, the Bible says that the heavens and the earth were
created by Jesus.

LIZ -- Naw!

AMY -- Yes, the Bible says that one of the titles bestowed upon
Jesus was Immanuel, which means "God with us".

LIZ -- Well, how could he be God and be Satan's brother at the
same time?

AMY -- He couldn't. Satan was an angel, a created being.

LIZ -- An angel? I thought he was just, you know, Satan.

AMY -- According to the Bible, Satan was an angel who rebelled
against God and was thrown out of Heaven.

LIZ -- Well, what about my prophecy? What about the salamander?

AMY -- Bad pizza.

LIZ -- It couldn't be! It was so real! It made so much sense!

AMY -- That's why the Bible warns us to test every new teaching
against the Bible. Your senses and your feelings can fool you.

LIZ -- I was sure there was a book deal in this for me.

AMY -- You're lucky you're not living in ancient Israel.

LIZ -- Why? What do you mean?

AMY -- In ancient Israel if you claimed to be a prophet, but
your prophecy was false, you would be stoned to death.

LIZ -- I've got to get back to work. (turns, exits) It's a good
thing I didn't tell her about inheriting my own planet.

AMY -- (turns, exits opposite) Bad pizza.

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
but all copies must contain this copyright statement.
http://www.bobsnook.org  email: bob@bobsnook.org

BACK