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GODSAID  4'?m2f "Personal revelation" means "I am a prophet"

LIZ -- (enters carrying suitcase, crosses briskly, looks back 
twice)

AMY -- (enters opposite while Liz is looking back the second 
time) Liz! 

LIZ -- (startled, trying to be non-chalant) Oh, hi, Amy.

AMY -- What's with the suitcase? You going somewhere for the 
weekend?

LIZ -- Ah, no. I, ah,... The Lord told me to leave Bill.

AMY -- Leave Bill? You mean you're walking out of your marriage?

LIZ -- Yes. The Lord told me to get a divorce and move to 
Hollywood and become an actress.

AMY -- The LORD told you to.

LIZ -- Yes, so, if you'll excuse me, my bus leaves in a few 
minutes. (turns to exit)

AMY -- So, you're a prophet?

LIZ -- (turns) Excuse me?

AMY -- You said the Lord told you to leave your husband. I 
didn't know you had the gift of prophecy.

LIZ -- I don't have the gift of prophecy. I never said that.

AMY -- But you just said that the Lord told you. That's a direct 
revelation from God.

LIZ -- Yes. I suppose it is.

AMY -- That would make you a prophet.

LIZ -- Well, now that I think about it, maybe you're right. I 
guess I am a prophet then.

AMY -- (backing away) Well, in that case, excuse me while I duck 
and cover. (squats and covers head with arms)

LIZ -- What are you doing?

AMY -- I don't want to be injured by the crossfire when the Lord 
strikes you dead. (ducks)

LIZ -- What are you talking about?

AMY -- The Lord commands that all false prophets be struck dead.

LIZ -- I'm not a false prophet.

AMY -- (uncovers, looks up to God) Hold off for a second, will 
you, Lord. Maybe there's hope. (stands, approaches Liz)

LIZ -- (backs away slightly) I think you've lost your marbles.

AMY -- Oh, I'm quite sane. 

LIZ -- Then, what's all this talk about the Lord striking me 
dead?

AMY -- I think you should back away from your stand that the 
Lord told you to leave your husband.

LIZ -- Why?

AMY -- Because the gift of prophecy is one of the highest gifts 
of the spirit. There are very few people who have that gift and 
the Bible holds them to a very high standard.

LIZ -- What standard?

AMY -- If a person claims to be a prophet and claims a 
revelation from the Lord, but the claim is false, the prophet is 
supposed to be condemned to death.

LIZ -- Oh. Well, how do you know that my revelation is false?

AMY -- Because the Lord would never say one thing in the Bible 
and then contradict himself by telling you the exact opposite.

LIZ -- I don't understand.

AMY -- Jesus said, "...what God has joined together let man not 
separate."

LIZ -- Oh, that. Well, maybe it wasn't really a prophecy.

AMY -- Good. (looks up) At least I won't have to worry about 
being burned by an overspray of fire and brimstone.

LIZ -- He wouldn't really do that. (looks up) Would he?

AMY -- I'm not so sure. I would be very careful what I pass off 
as a revelation from God. Remember that revelation from God has 
the same clout as scriptures. Are you saying that God removed 
the ban on divorce that has been in effect for 2000 years?

LIZ -- Well, no. He just removed the ban on MY divorce.

AMY -- (backing away) Well, in that case, excuse me while I duck 
and cover. (squats and covers head with arms)

LIZ -- Alright! I suppose that maybe he didn't really give me a 
direct revelation. Maybe it was just an impression. There's no 
fire and brimstone for an impression, is there? (looks up)

AMY -- (stands) No. Just a big black stain on your soul for 
breaking the third commandment.

LIZ -- The third commandment. Hey! I didn't use the Lord's name 
in vain! I didn't cuss or swear or anything.

AMY -- No. But you besmirched the Lord's name by saying that he 
approves of a behavior that he would never approve of. Ever.

LIZ -- (sigh) Yeah. I guess I did. It seemed easier at the time 
than saying "I'm sorry" to my husband. Now I have to say "I'm 
sorry" to two people. (turns back to home)

AMY -- (exiting with Liz) Look on the bright side. At least you 
won't have to worry about fire and brimstone.

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