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FATHERS  2'0m2f Father is sooooo demanding! (based on a script
by David Snapper)

(girls enter together, cross slowly while talking)

TIF -- You think YOUR father is demanding!? MY father makes me
clean my room even when we're not expecting visitors.

MEL -- Mine too. (hands on hips, imitating) "You could grow
potatoes under that bed, young lady."

TIF -- My father makes me get off the phone, even when noone
else needs to use it.

MEL -- Mine too! (hands on hips, imitating) "There are other
people in this family, young lady."

BOTH -- Fathers!

TIF -- My father thinks there's some kind of connection between
sainthood and taking out the garbage.

MEL -- ...As if garbage duty for kids was chiselled in stone
with the ten commandments.

TIF -- Same with doing the dishes.

MEL -- Is there anybody else in the whole school whose father
insists on chaperoning EVERY SINGLE school event?

TIF -- Mine does. He thinks boys have kooties.

MEL -- No way he's going to let me start dating until I'm
thirty.

MEL -- "Keep your distance."

MEL -- And why do I seem to have the ONLY father in town who
insists on kissing me goodbye every time he drops me off at
school?

TIF -- AND when he picks me up.

MEL -- On the lips.

TIF -- Right in front of the boy I'm trying to impress.

TIF -- Check this out: do you know how my neighbor found out
that I play soccer?

MEL -- How?

TIF -- She heard my father cheering for me.

MEL -- That is so embarrassing.

TIF -- From two blocks away!

BOTH -- Fathers!

MEL -- And he's not even original. How many times have you heard
this one: "The world does not revolve around you, young lady!"

TIF -- "Eat your vegetables, they're good for you."

MEL -- "Don't slouch."

TIF -- "Sit up straight."

MEL -- "You have a napkin for a reason."

TIF -- "Say please."

MEL -- "Say thankyou."

TIF -- "Do your homework."

MEL -- "Fasten your seatbelt."

TIF -- "Don't leave the light on."

MEL -- "Don't leave the water dripping."

TIF -- "You think money grows on trees?!"

MEL -- "You're not going to wear THAT dress to church, are you?"

BOTH -- Fathers!

TIF -- If you could choose any father in the whole wide world,
who would you choose?

MEL -- My Dad. You?

TIF -- My Dad.

MEL -- I wouldn't change a thing.

TIF -- Me either.

(both exit)

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
but all copies must contain this copyright statement.
http://www.bobsnook.org  email: bob@bobsnook.org

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