FATHERS  2'0m2f Father is sooooo demanding! (based on a script
by David Snapper)

(girls enter together, cross slowly while talking)

TIF -- You think YOUR father is demanding!? MY father makes me
clean my room even when we're not expecting visitors.

MEL -- Mine too. (hands on hips, imitating) "You could grow
potatoes under that bed, young lady."

TIF -- My father makes me get off the phone, even when noone
else needs to use it.

MEL -- Mine too! (hands on hips, imitating) "There are other
people in this family, young lady."

BOTH -- Fathers!

TIF -- My father thinks there's some kind of connection between
sainthood and taking out the garbage.

MEL -- ...As if garbage duty for kids was chiselled in stone
with the ten commandments.

TIF -- Same with doing the dishes.

MEL -- Is there anybody else in the whole school whose father
insists on chaperoning EVERY SINGLE school event?

TIF -- Mine does. He thinks boys have kooties.

MEL -- No way he's going to let me start dating until I'm

MEL -- "Keep your distance."

MEL -- And why do I seem to have the ONLY father in town who
insists on kissing me goodbye every time he drops me off at

TIF -- AND when he picks me up.

MEL -- On the lips.

TIF -- Right in front of the boy I'm trying to impress.

TIF -- Check this out: do you know how my neighbor found out
that I play soccer?

MEL -- How?

TIF -- She heard my father cheering for me.

MEL -- That is so embarrassing.

TIF -- From two blocks away!

BOTH -- Fathers!

MEL -- And he's not even original. How many times have you heard
this one: "The world does not revolve around you, young lady!"

TIF -- "Eat your vegetables, they're good for you."

MEL -- "Don't slouch."

TIF -- "Sit up straight."

MEL -- "You have a napkin for a reason."

TIF -- "Say please."

MEL -- "Say thankyou."

TIF -- "Do your homework."

MEL -- "Fasten your seatbelt."

TIF -- "Don't leave the light on."

MEL -- "Don't leave the water dripping."

TIF -- "You think money grows on trees?!"

MEL -- "You're not going to wear THAT dress to church, are you?"

BOTH -- Fathers!

TIF -- If you could choose any father in the whole wide world,
who would you choose?

MEL -- My Dad. You?

TIF -- My Dad.

MEL -- I wouldn't change a thing.

TIF -- Me either.

(both exit)

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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