BACK

FATHER   4'?m6f If your life turned out okay, thank your father

(Scene: table and five chairs, reporters enter one or two at a 
time, chatting silently, sit)

BOSS -- (enters carrying papers and folders, stands at head of 
table) Alright, we've got a deadline staring us in the face. 
What stories do we have that will sell magazines?

KATE -- I finished the article on alcoholism, Chief.

BOSS -- Okay, lay it on me. Have they come up with a cause for 
alcoholism?

KATE -- Well, there's a lot of contributing factors, Chief. But 
it looks like the single biggest is growing up with an absentee 
dad.

BOSS -- Absentee Dad?! What does a person's father have to do 
with alcoholism?

KATE -- I don't know, Chief. But the research shows that if a 
dad is not in the home or if he's emotionally distant, 
alcoholism rates go up dramatically. See for yourself. (hands 
paper to Boss)

BOSS -- (reads briefly) Alright, we'll run with it. (look up) 
Okay, who had the story on crime prevention?

SUZY -- That one's mine, Chief.

BOSS -- You ready to go to press?

SUZY -- Well, yes, but the timing might not be so good.

BOSS -- What do you mean?

SUZY -- Well, it turns out the the prime cause of crime is 
growing up with an absentee dad.

BOSS -- You're kidding.

SUZY -- I wish I was, Chief. (hands paper to Boss) It's the 
single biggest cause of crime. 80% of prison inmates are 
fatherless.

BOSS -- (reads) Wow. That would be a big story if it wasn't in 
the same issue as the piece on alcoholism.

SUZY -- I know.

BOSS -- So, who else has a story? Who did I assign the teenage 
pregnancy epidemic to? (pause) Well, come on, people! We've got 
a deadline staring us in the face!

ANNA -- (raises hand timidly) I don't know how to tell you this, 
Chief, but...

BOSS -- Don't tell me that the biggest cause of teenage 
pregnancy is absentee dads!

ANNA -- (hands paper to Boss) Maybe we could run this story in 
the next issue, Chief.

BOSS -- (reads) This is ridiculous! How can I run a magazine when 
all the hot stories have the same ending? (looks up) What about 
that article on homosexuality?

LISA -- (hands paper to Boss) More of the same, Chief.

BOSS -- (snatches paper) Now I'm getting mad! (reads) What proof 
do you have on this?

LISA -- One recovery counselor swears he's never met a 
homosexual who grew up with a warm, nurturing relationship with 
his father.

BOSS -- (looks up) Alright, that's it! The next reporter who 
mentions a father is FIRED!

JACI -- (sneaks toward exit) 

BOSS -- Where do you think you're going?!

JACI -- (freezes, not looking back) I... ah... I thought I'd... 
go look for a good story idea, Chief.

BOSS -- Wait a minute, didn't I assign you a story a couple of 
days ago?

JACI -- Gee, Chief, I... I don't rememb.... (sneaks to exit)

BOSS -- Yes, yes, I did. I assigned you the feature story on 
compulsive gambling.... Oh, no, don't tell me... FREEZE!

JACI -- (freezes, not looking back) Listen, Chief, I'm sure that 
if I do a little more research....

BOSS -- No. We're going to run the story on compulsive gambling.

JACI -- (turns) We are?

BOSS -- Yes, we are. We're going to run all these stories. 

JACI -- So, you're not going to firing me?

BOSS -- No, of course not. I want you to write the cover story. 

JACI -- What cover story?

BOSS -- We'll call it, (frames the air with his fingers) "If 
your life turned out alright, thank your dad."

JACI -- Hey, good idea, Chief. Father's Day is coming up.

BOSS -- (whisks reporters away, exiting) Well, don't just sit 
there! Get moving! We've got a deadline staring us in the face! 

(all exit chatting, nodding)

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
but all copies must contain this copyright statement.
http://www.bobsnook.org  email: bob@bobsnook.org

BACK