BACK

FAMILY3  7'1m4f Christian witness, family values, Holy Spirit

SAM -- (enters wearing a fedora with unlit cigarette in mouth,
crosses strolling, to audience) The name is Spade. Sam Spade.
I'm a private investigator. In fact, I'm the world's greatest
private investigator. And I want you to know that a detective's
life is not all about sleazy divorces.

MOM -- (enters opposite) I'm looking for a detective named Sam
Spade.

SAM -- That would be me. (turns to audience, straightens brim of
hat, turns to Mom) I hope this isn't one of those sleazy
divorces.

MOM -- No. It's about my son.

SAM -- What about him?

MOM -- He's been acting strangely.

SAM -- How so?

MOM -- He doesn't talk back. He mows the lawn without having to
be reminded.

SAM -- Dreadful! Call in the National Guard!

MOM -- It may not sound pathological to you, but something
strange is going on. He never acts like this! He even told me
that he loves me!

SAM -- Sounds like the kind of things I did when I was a kid.
He's probably just trying to soften you up to get his next
handout.

MOM -- That's just it. He stopped asking for handouts. He went
out and found a part time job.

SAM -- Just sounds like a kid being a kid. I'm not sure you want
to spend good money....

MOM -- (pushes envelope at Sam) Will two thousand dollars get
you started?

SAM -- (looking into envelope, wide-eyed) On the other hand the
kid could be in deep doo-doo. I really should investigate this
case thoroughly.

MOM -- (offers snap shot) Here's a picture of him. His name is
Darren. (exits)

SAM -- I'll get right on it. (turns, strolls, to audience) When
you're the world's greatest private-eye, you don't waste time
interviewing neighbors and relatives, you go where the action
is. That's where trouble lurks. I headed down to the local
squat. A squat is an empty hotel or warehouse where druggies
hang out.

ZONER -- (enters opposite) You a cop?

SAM -- Me? No, I...

ZONER -- (offers baggie) Then I'll trade you six rocks for six
ludes.

SAM -- I'm not into that stuff.

ZONER -- Hash?

SAM -- No.

ZONER -- Dust?

SAM -- I'm looking for a kid who probably hangs out here.
(offers picture) You seen him in here?

ZONER -- No. You got any coke?

SAM -- No. So, you're saying you never saw this kid doing drugs?

ZONER -- (backs to exit) Never saw him at all. Hey, you wouldn't
just happen to have any smack, would you?

SAM -- Thanks for the info. (turns, strolls, to audience) With
drugs eliminated as the cause of the kid's behavior I headed
down to the local rave. A rave is a traveling night club. The
reason it travels is because the owners don't check driver's
licenses when kids order drinks.

BOUNCER -- You a cop?

SAM -- No, I'm a private investigator. Looking for this kid.
(offers picture) You ever seen him in here?

BOUNCER -- Yeah.

SAM -- Aha! When?

BOUNCER -- The little brat cost me a customer!

SAM -- What do you mean?

BOUNCER -- I thought he came in here to drink. But it turns out
he came in to find a friend of his. Took her drink right out of
her hand and dragged her out the door. At six bucks a drink,
that girl was usually good for fifty bucks worth of alcohol. But
this little brat stopped her before she could finish one drink.

SAM -- Do you know where he took the girl?

BOUNCER -- The worst part is I thought the kid was a big tipper.
He pressed a folded bill into my hand to get past the ropes, but
when I looked it was just a one dollar bill. That's the last
time that little punk will ever get by MY ropes again.

SAM -- Focus. Where did he take the girl.

BOUNCER -- I'm sorry. I just developed a slight deafness. Can
you repeat the question? (extends hand palm up)

SAM -- (presses bill into Bouncer's hand) Where?

BOUNCER -- Young Life. Downtown.

SAM -- Thanks. (turns)

BOUNCER -- (exiting) A one dollar bill?! Tightwad!

SAM -- (strolls, to audience) I went downtown and asked around
about another rave called Young Life. (to Counselor) Hey, I'm
looking for a place called Young Life.

COUNSELOR -- (enters opposite carrying clipboard) This is Young
Life here.

SAM -- Why don't I hear any music?

COUNSELOR -- Music?

SAM -- It's too early to close up.

COUNSELOR -- I don't understand.

SAM -- This is a rave, isn't it?

COUNSELOR -- No. It's a Christian Crisis Center.

SAM -- You're kidding.

COUNSELOR -- Why would I kid you?

SAM -- Nevermind. (offers picture) Did you see this kid come in
here with a girl?

COUNSELOR -- Darren? Yes. But if you want information about the
girl, I'm sworn to confidentiality.

SAM -- But you can give me information about Darren.

COUNSELOR -- It depends. Why are you looking for him?

SAM -- His mother is worried about him.

COUNSELOR -- I'm sure.

SAM -- Oh. You think I might be... You think I'm out to get him.

COUNSELOR -- Darren has made some enemies among the drug
dealers.

SAM -- How?

COUNSELOR -- First, you lay your cards on the table, then I'll
lay mine.

SAM -- My name is Spade, Sam Spade. I'm a private investigator.
Darren's mother hired me to find out why he's been acting so
strange lately.

COUNSELOR -- Yes, it has been a rather dramatic change, hasn't
it?

SAM -- So?

COUNSELOR -- Darren surrendered his life to Jesus a few weeks
ago.

SAM -- So, he didn't bring the girl here for a little....

COUNSELOR -- No, of course not! He brought her here for drug and
alcohol rehabilitation.

SAM -- You're kidding.

COUNSELOR -- You must have mistaken me for a comedian.

SAM -- So, Darren's behavior change is...

COUNSELOR -- You thought it was a cover-up for drugs, or sex, or
something sinister?

SAM -- It usually is. But this is the real deal, huh?

COUNSELOR -- The real deal.

SAM -- Didn't Darren tell his mother about this?

COUNSELOR -- Every time Darren tries to tell his mother about
Jesus, she just thinks it's....

SAM -- A cover-up?

COUNSELOR -- Yes.

SAM -- How do YOU explain the behavior change?

COUNSELOR -- Well, I know that Jesus promised that the Holy
Spirit would write his laws on our hearts. (exits)

SAM -- The Holy Spirit, aye? (turns, strolls, to audience) Well,
I'll be.... Even the world's greatest private-eye learned
something new on this case. I returned to my client's home to
give her the news. (to Mom) Well, I found the reason for your
son's strange behavior.

MOM -- (enters opposite) I already know.

SAM -- You do?!

MOM -- Yes. It's the Holy Spirit!

SAM -- But I just spent three days tracking down... (points over
shoulder) How did you find out?

MOM -- I surrendered my life to Jesus too! The Holy Spirit is
changing my life too! (exiting) Isn't it wonderful?!

SAM -- (turns, strolls, to audience) So, there you have it:
proof positive that a private-eye's life is not all about sleazy
divorces. It's also about the Holy Spirit. (exiting) It sounds
like it could be contagious.

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
but all copies must contain this copyright statement.
http://www.bobsnook.org  email: bob@bobsnook.org

BACK