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EPITAPH  5'?m2f Communication, confession, human relations

AMY -- (enters wearing plain white tunic, carrying flash light,
crosses stepping over invisible obstacles) Just a little bit
farther.

LIZ -- (follows wearing pajamas, bathrobe and fuzzy slippers,
clutching at lapels of robe, steps over invisible obstacles,
looking around suspiciously) This is really creepy. I'm not sure
I want to be here.

AMY -- It will be worth your while, I assure you.

LIZ -- You can't just wake a person out of a dead sleep and
sneak into a cemetery! Aren't there laws against this sort of
thing?! Couldn't we be arrested for trespassing?

AMY -- Trespassing?

LIZ -- Yes. Cemeteries have visiting hours you know. Why can't
we come back tomorrow morning when it's light outside?

AMY -- Tomorrow will be too late.

LIZ -- (not paying attention, stepping over final obstacle) This
reminds me of when I went snipe hunting at girl scout camp.
(turns 360 looking for attackers) Did I mention that this place
gives me the creeps?

AMY -- (shines flashlight on audience back wall) Look here.

LIZ -- Look where?

AMY -- There.

LIZ -- On that headstone?

AMY -- Yes.

LIZ -- Why? Is that someone I used to know?

AMY -- Read the inscription.

LIZ -- Hey, she has the same name as mine. Hey, she even had the
same birthday! (turns) Okay, it's time to go back home now.

AMY -- (tugs Liz's elbow) Read the inscription.

LIZ -- (impatient, not turning) I already read the inscription.
So, if you're trying to creep me out, you've already succeeded.
Can we go now?

AMY -- Read the inscription.

LIZ -- (sighs, turns) Alright. (points) My name. My date of
birth. What else?

AMY -- Keep reading.

LIZ -- Say, that can't be right!

AMY -- What's that?

LIZ -- That date of death.

AMY -- What about it?

LIZ -- That's tomorrow! How could she be... There's no way there
could be a headstone for someone who isn't dead yet. Alright.
Alright. (turns 360) Alright. Now you're really creeping me out.
If this whole exercise was to creep me out, you've creeped me
out.

AMY -- That wasn't the purpose of this exercise.

LIZ -- (points) How could that person be buried already when she
hasn't even died yet?! Are you trying to tell me something?

AMY -- Yes.

LIZ -- What. Is that MY headstone? Is this your way of telling
me that I died in my sleep?

AMY -- No. This is our way of telling you that you have been
living as if you would live forever.

LIZ -- And I'm not?

AMY -- No.

LIZ -- I'm dying.

AMY -- Yes.

LIZ -- When? And please don't tell me tomorrow.

AMY -- What if I told you that you only had one day to live?
Would you live your next few hours any differently?

LIZ -- Well, of course!

AMY -- What would you do differently?

LIZ -- (turns away) What do you mean?

AMY -- You know what I mean. Let's start with what you said to
your mother yesterday.

LIZ -- This is really creeping me out. I had a fight with my mom
yesterday. But there was noone around. So, there's no way you
could know that. Who are you?!

AMY -- Let's start with what you said to your mother yesterday.

LIZ -- Alright. I told her I hated her.

AMY -- (shines flashlight in Liz's face) And?

LIZ -- Alright, if you must know, I was thinking about
apologizing to my mother. When I say things like that to her,
it's like a stab in her heart. That's why I said it. I wanted to
hurt her. If I only had one day to live, I would give my mom a
hug and say I'm sorry.

AMY -- What about your dad?

LIZ -- You are so nosey! Alright, I'll admit it. My dad never
says he loves me and I was waiting for him to say he loves me
before I tell him I love him. If I had only one day to live, I
would let him know that I love him first. It's not like it's
some kind of contest to see who can hold out the longest.

AMY -- What about your friend Amy?

LIZ -- What about her? (takes flashlight, shines it in Amy's
face) By the way, you look enough like Amy to be her twin.

AMY -- (takes flashlight, shines it in Liz's face) Don't you
have something to confess to your best friend Amy?

LIZ -- What are you, some kind of mind reader or something?

AMY -- Just answer the question.

LIZ -- Alright. I'll answer your question, then you have to
answer mine. Yes, I have something to confess to Amy. She told
me a secret in strictest confidence and I betrayed her
confidence by telling the secret to someone else.

AMY -- Why?

LIZ -- Because it makes me feel important to know something that
noone else knows. It's like being in possession of a diamond or
a rare painting.

AMY -- What lesson did you learn from this?

LIZ -- I treated the secret as more valuable than the person I
got it from. In a year, I probably won't even remember the
secret, but I'll always have Amy as a friend. If I had only one
day to live, I would tell Amy that I'm sorry and how valuable
her friendship is to me.

AMY -- Very good.

LIZ -- Now you answer my question.

AMY -- What's that?

LIZ -- How did you know about the unfinished business I had with
my mom and my dad and my best friend? And while you're at it,
tell me why you look so much like my friend Amy.

AMY -- (exiting) I'm an angel. I took on the appearance of your
friend so you would feel more comfortable.

LIZ -- (follows) So, this has all been a dream, right?

AMY -- (exiting) More like a wake up call.

LIZ -- (follows) So, do I have only one day to live or not?

AMY -- (exiting) If you live your life as if you have only one
day to live, you won't have any regrets.

LIZ -- (follows) You're not going to answer me, are you?

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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