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DYNAMITE 3'?m2f Anger management, patience

LIZ -- (enters hopping, with wrists and ankles duct-taped, with
a dozen sticks of dynamite and curly wires strapped to chest)
Where are you taking me?

AMY -- (follows pushing Liz, carrying remote control) Away from
my car. I don't want you messing up my car with your blood and
guts.

LIZ -- Your not really going to blow me up, are you?

AMY -- That's the plan.

LIZ -- You must really be angry.

AMY -- (tugging wires, testing remote control) You might say
that.

LIZ -- You know, I've been reading in my Bible about patience.

AMY -- That's nice.

LIZ -- No, really. You could learn a lot from the Bible about
patience. If you developed patience according to the plan of the
Bible, you wouldn't get so angry.

AMY -- Well, lah dee dah.

LIZ -- I'm serious. For instance, Solomon wrote that if you hang
out with hot-tempered people, you will become hot-tempered too.

AMY -- That's true. I hang out with hot-tempered people. And I
have become more hot-tempered.

LIZ -- Well, since I alerted you to the cause of your anger,
don't you think you should let me go?

AMY -- No. I went to all the trouble to bind you up and rig this
dynamite, I don't want to waste it.

LIZ -- Well, then, let's talk about other things the Bible says
about anger.

AMY -- You'd better make it snappy. If I can get this remote
control working, you're speech may be interrupted by a loud
bang.

LIZ -- The Bible says that only a fool gives full vent to his
anger.

AMY -- And you were hoping that I would let you go if you call
me a fool?

LIZ -- You're right. That wasn't a very good strategy, was it? 
What else does the Bible say? Oh, yes! The Bible says that your 
anger is caused by fear and worry.

AMY -- That's true.

LIZ -- It is?! I mean, of course it is! What are you worried
about?

AMY -- I'm worried that this remote control unit won't detonate
the dynamite.

LIZ -- Oh, good!

AMY -- What?!

LIZ -- I'm mean, that might not be all that bad. It will give me
more time to tell you what the Bible says about patience. For
instance, did you know that the Bible says you will have more
patience if you rest and eat well? Maybe instead of blowing me
to bits, you should just get a good night's sleep.

AMY -- I tell you what. I'll blow you to bits and then I'll get
a good nights sleep.

LIZ -- Oh, dear. In that case, did you know that the Bible says
that the number one cause of impatience and anger is unrealistic
expectations?

AMY -- No kidding. (exits)

LIZ -- That's what it says. (notices Amy is leaving) I see you
were persuaded.

AMY -- (turns) Yes, I'm persuaded that the batteries in my
remote control are dead. Wait here while I change the batteries.
(exits)

LIZ -- (pauses until Amy exits, exits opposite hopping quickly)
Fortunately for me, the Bible instructs us to flee from sin.

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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