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DOUBTS   5'?m3f Feelings, nagging doubts and the Holy Spirit

(scene: two rooms: waiting room with six chairs side-by-side and
interview room with small table and two chairs)

AMY -- (enters wearing business attire, carrying briefcase or
portfolio, sits in waiting room)

NAG -- (enters wearing pill-box hat, gloves, old-fashioned
clothing, hovers upstage of chairs) I don't suppose you
remembered to brush your teeth.

AMY -- I brushed my teeth.

NAG -- Mouth wash?

AMY -- I used mouth wash. I'll be fine. (blows softly into hand,
smells own breath)

NAG -- I don't suppose you checked your underwear.

AMY -- Do you have to talk about my underwear in public?

NAG -- If you had an accident, you wouldn't want the ambulance
drivers to see holes in your underwear. It would be a direct
reflection on your mother, you know.

AMY -- You're not my mother.

LIZ -- (enters opposite wearing business attire, carrying file
folder, reads aloud) Amy Johnson?

AMY -- (stands) Yes, that's me. (crosses) I'm Amy Johnson.

NAG -- (follows) I don't suppose you remembered to polish your
shoes.

AMY -- (looks down) My shoes are fine. They're clean and
polished. (extends hand)

LIZ -- (shakes) Hi, I'm Elizabeth Wilson. I'm the supervisor of 
this department. (points to table) Please, have a seat. (sits)

AMY -- (sitting) Thank you.

NAG -- I don't suppose you remembered to bring samples of your
work.

AMY -- (looks in portfolio) Yes, I brought the samples. (offers
file folder)

LIZ -- (takes folder) Excuse me. Who is this person?

AMY -- Oh, I'm sorry. This is Nagging Doubts. She goes
everywhere with me.

LIZ -- Nagging Doubts?

NAG -- (offers hand) You can call me Nag. Everybody calls me
Nag.

LIZ -- (shakes) I see. But I'm afraid I don't have a chair for
you. I usually do these interviews one on one.

AMY -- It's okay. She usually just hovers.

LIZ -- This is a little unusual. But, I guess, if YOU don't
mind...

AMY -- No. I've had Nagging Doubts hovering around me for years.

LIZ -- (opens folder, pages through) Okay, let's have a look at
your work samples. Well, I like the quality and quantity of your
work. (opens other folder) Uh huh, and I see that you have quite
a lot of work experience that's transferable to this ministry.

AMY -- Yes, I really love this ministry.

NAG -- Did I mention that you're the youngest person ever to 
apply for this position? Ever?

AMY -- Yes, you did.

LIZ -- Yes, well, I guess that's right. You would be the
youngest person to ever hold this position, but with your
experience... especially since your resume' shows a pattern of
ever increasing responsibilities, that may not be a problem.

NAG -- In addition to being too young, you're also too short.
How are people going to look up to someone whose so short?

LIZ -- (to Amy) Does she always do that?

AMY -- Yes, always. I grew up in a disfunctional family.
Self-esteem was almost none-existent. I have Nagging Doubts with
me all the time.

LIZ -- (scans folder) It's amazing that you've done as well as
you have. Let's talk about your management skills.

NAG -- You have this high pitched voice that can barely be heard
across the room. How are people going to take you seriously if
you can't communicate?

LIZ -- (pages through folder) And yet your resume and your
letters of recommendation say that your management skills and
your communication skills are top notch.

NAG -- Well it certainly isn't because of your inborn talent.

AMY -- No, it's not.

LIZ -- Would you call yourself an over-achiever?

NAG and AMY -- Definitely.

NAG -- She is the least talented person I've ever met.

LIZ -- So, how do you do it?

AMY -- Oh, I wouldn't stand a chance without the empowerment of
the Holy Spirit.

LIZ -- The Holy Spirit?

NAG -- I'm not sure you should start with the God-talk so early
in the interview, deary. It scares some people away.

LIZ -- So, you feel empowered by the Holy Spirit?

NAG and AMY -- Absolutely not.

NAG -- The girl is a stone. She doesn't feel a thing.

LIZ -- Is that true?

AMY -- That's true. I feel absolutely no power from the Holy
Spirit.

LIZ -- Yet, you assert that you're empowered by the Holy Spirit?

AMY -- Absolutely.

LIZ -- How can you say that you're empowered when you can't feel
the power?

NAG -- I suppose it's too late to inquire whether you remembered
to apply your underarm deodorant.

AMY -- I remembered.

LIZ -- You know, that's really annoying. How do you put up with
Nagging Doubts?

AMY -- It's just by the power of the Holy Spirit.

LIZ -- But you said you can't feel Him.

AMY -- The only way I could feel Him is if he had some physical
properties. But by definition the Holy Spirit is a spirit being.
He has no physical properties. There's nothing to feel.

LIZ -- Then, how can you rely so heavily on someone you can't
see or feel?

NAG -- I ask her that same question every day. And every day I
get the same answer.

NAG and AMY -- Because the Bible says so.

LIZ -- So you just rely on the promises of the Bible?

AMY -- Yes. But it isn't like it's an empty promise. The
successes of the Holy Spirit are all over the Bible, all the way
from the books of Moses to the Book of Acts. He has always been 
there to help the people of God do the work of God on earth.

LIZ -- Well, relying on the Holy Spirit has certainly worked for
you. You're references all gave you rave reviews. Well, the
position is yours if you want it. (extends hand)

AMY -- Thank you. Yes. (shakes) I want it!

LIZ -- (stands) Well, then, let me introduce you to the others.

AMY -- (stands) Okay.

NAG -- Remember, dear, you're not very good with strangers.

LIZ -- (to Amy) Does SHE (points to Nag) have to come along?

AMY -- She will slowly disappear as I get into a routine.

LIZ -- (exiting) Are you sure that Nagging Doubts won't be a 
problem?

AMY -- (follows) Not as long as I rely on the Holy Spirit.

NAG -- (brushes Amy's shoulder) Did you use the DANDRUFF shampoo 
this morning?
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