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CULT     4'?m2f Salvation, cults, grace vs works

(prop: a gift box labeled "Gift of Salvation" on one side and
"Cult Salvation" on the other, with hand-hole on one end)

LIZ -- (enters carrying box, shows "Gift" side to audience)

AMY -- (enters carrying shopping bags, browsing through bags as
she walks)

LIZ -- I have a gift for you.

AMY -- For me?

LIZ -- Yes.

AMY -- What's in there?

LIZ -- "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience,
kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."

AMY -- That sounds really attractive. I could use some of that.
But I... I'm not so sure. (browses through bags)

LIZ -- Here, take it. It's a gift from God.

AMY -- A gift?

LIZ -- Yes.

AMY -- You mean it's FREE?!

LIZ -- Yes.

AMY -- What do I have to do to receive this free gift?

LIZ -- Just accept it. (offers box)

AMY -- Just accept it.

LIZ -- Yes.

AMY -- (slides hand into box) What is this? (struggles) There's
nothing in there. I'm stuck.

LIZ -- (circles Amy, revealing the other side of the box) You're
not stuck. You're now a member of the one true church of God.

AMY -- The one true church?

LIZ -- Yes.

AMY -- I... don't remember a mention of one true church in the
Bible. If there's one true church, what about all those other
churches?

LIZ -- They're all works of the devil.

AMY -- But they do so much good work.

LIZ -- The church has been defiled over the centuries, our 
church brings religion back to its true foundation.

AMY -- I see.

LIZ -- As a member of this church you will be required to attend
Church and Bible study.

AMY -- Bible study.

LIZ -- Well, we call it Bible study, but we don't really study
the Bible. We study our leaders books and his assessment of the
Bible.

AMY -- I really wanted to study the Bible.

LIZ -- You can't.

AMY -- I can't?

LIZ -- You won't understand the Bible on your own, not without
the instruction of our leader.

AMY -- I won't?

LIZ -- No. And, of course, you're required to give at least one
tenth of your income to the church.

AMY -- I'm required?

LIZ -- Yes.

AMY -- I thought salvation was a FREE gift.

LIZ -- It is free to get in. But once you're in, there are
requirements to stay in.

AMY -- (backs away, unable to remove hand) Well, then, I'm not
sure I want to be in.

LIZ -- I'm sorry, you can't leave.

AMY -- Why not.

LIZ -- If you leave, you'll lose your salvation.

AMY -- But I thought salvation was a gift.

LIZ -- It is.

AMY -- It's not a gift if you can take it back. (backs away,
unable to remove hand)

LIZ -- It's obvious that you lack the faith to be saved.

AMY -- Well, maybe I do. But if salvation is a gift, I assumed
that God will give me the faith I need.

LIZ -- No. You get faith by being a missionary for our church.

AMY -- But I don't want to do missionary work.

LIZ -- Then, you can't be saved.

AMY -- I wished you'd told me this before you offered me this
gift.

LIZ -- If you think that's bad, wait til I tell you about your
family.

AMY -- What about my family?

LIZ -- If they don't belong to our church, you'll have to sever
ties with them.

AMY -- You mean I have to stop seeing my family?

LIZ -- Not if you can talk them into accepting this free gift.

AMY -- Well, I'm pretty sure that if I tell them that the gift 
is not really free, they won't want to receive the gift.

LIZ -- Then, don't tell them that it's not really free.

AMY -- That wouldn't be honest.

LIZ -- Well, it's YOUR family. If you don't want to see them,
it's up to you.

AMY -- Listen, I took this GIFT because you promised me love and
joy and peace. Where is the love and joy and peace?

LIZ -- It comes after you earn your salvation.

AMY -- I thought salvation was a gift!

LIZ -- Well, it is, but you have to EARN it.

AMY -- (struggles, removes hand, exits) No, thanks. You can have
your... GIFT.

LIZ -- (exiting opposite) Oh, man! What am I going to do now?!
If I can't convert someone, I might lose MY salvation! (shouts) 
Hey! You! Do you want this attractive gift?!

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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