CLEANSE  4'2m?f "Washing wives with water through the word"

(scene: cashier's counter or podium)

BOB -- (enters wearing tuxedo with flower in lapel, crosses to 
counter, looks around) Hello?

AMY -- (enters wiping hands on rag) Sorry to keep you waiting. 
Welcome to the Third Street Car Wash. Did you want the hot wax 

BOB -- Ah, no, thanks. (digs for wallet)

AMY -- Okay, that will be five dollars.

BOB -- Sure. (sorts through money)

AMY -- By the way, are you getting married today?

BOB -- Oh, ah, you're close. I just got married. We just came 
from the reception.

AMY -- Oh. Well, congratulations!

BOB -- Thanks. Five dollars, you say?

AMY -- Yes. (points to exit) So, that's your wife out there in 
the convertible?

BOB -- Yes.

AMY -- That's a beautiful gown she's wearing.

BOB -- I'll tell her you said so. (hands bills to Amy)

AMY -- (makes change) You be sure when you put your top up, that 
it's secured tightly and that your windows are rolled up tight 
before you send your car through. Those convertibles tend to 
leak a little.

BOB -- Oh, I'm going to send it through with the top down.

AMY -- With the top down?

BOB -- Yes.

AMY -- You realize that the interior will get wet?

BOB -- Yes, that's the idea.

AMY -- You realize that, when you and your bride get back in the 
car, your clothes will get a little wet?

BOB -- Oh, I'm going to send my wife through the car wash in the 

AMY -- You're what?

BOB -- Oh, I'm going to send her through the car wash in the 

AMY -- You realize that she and her wedding dress will get very 

BOB -- Yes. And cleansed.

AMY -- Cleansed.

BOB -- Yeah, just like it says in the Bible.

AMY -- The Bible.

BOB -- Yes.

AMY -- I don't remember anything in the Bible about sending your 
wife through a car wash with the top down.

BOB -- Oh, sure. Ephesians 5:26 says a husband is supposed to 
make his wife "holy, cleansing her by the washing with water 
through the word"

AMY -- (laughs uncontrollably) 

BOB -- What's so funny?

AMY -- (tries to stop laughing) I'm sorry. (laughs)

BOB -- I don't think it's funny doing what the Lord commanded.

AMY -- I'm sorry. Ephesians 5:26 is talking about loving your 

BOB -- And cleansing her by washing her with water.

AMY -- (fighting laughter for the remainder of the play) No. I 
don't think you understand what that passage means.

BOB -- Well, it seems clear to me.

AMY -- In the Book of Ephesians, Jesus is talking to people who 
are familiar with ceremonial washings. Washing with water is a 
symbolic way of telling you to keep your relationship pure.

BOB -- That's not what it says. It says "washing... with water".

AMY -- It also says "through the word". Are you expecting the 
water to pour out of a Bible?

BOB -- I didn't really understand that part.

AMY -- Your wife will be grateful that you got straightened out 
before you ruined her new dress.

BOB -- She WAS a little upset.

AMY -- I'll bet.

BOB -- So, how am I suppose to wash her with water through the 
word? Do I run a water pipe through my Bible?

AMY -- That won't really be necessary. Paul was merely telling 
the Ephesians to keep their marriages pure by following Biblical 

BOB -- Oh. Like what?

AMY -- Like both of you having a daily quiet time to pray and 
read the Bible. Like talking things out and never going to bed 
angry. Like dedicating your marriage to the Lord.

BOB -- Oh. (turns to exit) I've got to go. I'd better hurry.

AMY -- (holds up $5 bill) Where are you going?

BOB -- We have to get to the sporting goods store before it 

AMY -- Sporting goods store?

BOB -- (exiting) Yes, I have to return the snorkel, mask and 
swim fins.

AMY -- (follows shouting) Oh, wait! You forgot your refund!

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