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CHAIR    5'?m2f More important than faith: the object of faith

(scene: one chair facing audience)

LIZ -- (enters carrying a department store shopping bag in 
each hand and a package under one arm, tired, stops, turns back, 
looks at watch, sighs, turns crosses past chair) 

CHAIR -- (voiceover) Come to me all you heavy laden and I will 
give you rest.

LIZ -- (stops, looks left and right) Excuse me?

CHAIR -- Come to me all you heavy laden and I will give you 
rest.

LIZ -- (turns complete circle) Who's there? Who said that?

CHAIR -- It's me. The chair behind you.

LIZ -- (turns, looks at chair, gasps, steps back, looks around 
sceptically) 

CHAIR -- Come to me all you heavy laden and I will give you 
rest.

LIZ -- (shouts left and right) This is very funny. Where's the 
camera?

CHAIR -- There's no camera. You look tired. Sit down. I will 
give your rest.

LIZ -- (shouts left and right) Okay, what's the punch line?

CHAIR -- No punch line. I'm a chair. Sit down and rest in me.

LIZ -- Sit down....

CHAIR -- Yes.

LIZ -- ...And rest.

CHAIR -- Yes.

LIZ -- Just rest. No funny business?

CHAIR -- What kind of funny business could I do? I'm a chair.

LIZ -- (looking around) I can't believe I'm talking to a 
chair.

CHAIR -- That's right. I'm a chair and you look like you're 
really tired and heavy laden. So, sit down and rest.

LIZ -- (looking around) You're right, I am tired and feet are 
killing me. But,... well, how do I know this isn't a joke? I sit 
down, you collapse and I look ridiculous. I've been deceived 
before, you know. It's no fun.

CHAIR -- You were deceived before because you didn't put your 
trust in trustworthy things. If you put your trust in 
trustworthy things you don't need much faith at all. You only 
need faith as small as a mustard seed.

LIZ -- (looking around) Alright, let's assume for a minute 
that I have faith as small as a mustard seed. I still don't know 
if I can trust you.

CHAIR -- Read at my name plate.

LIZ -- You're name plate.

CHAIR -- Yes, on my back.

LIZ -- (looks around, walks upstage of chair) I can't believe 
I'm talking to a chair. People are going to think I'm nuts. 
Okay, where's your name t... Oh, this must be what you're taking 
about. (reads) It says, "here are just a few of the people who 
put their trust in me and received rest: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, 
Joseph, Moses, Joshua, David,..." You mean all those people sat 
here?

CHAIR -- Yes. All they started with was faith the size of a 
mustard seed.

LIZ -- (sigh) Well, I am really tired.

CHAIR -- Then, rest in me.

LIZ -- I... I don't know. (touches chair as if expecting an 
electric shock) Well... You seem sturdy enough, but I've been 
fooled before. (moves downstage of chair) But I... I suppose if 
all those people got rest here, I could give it a try. (sits 
cautiously on corned of chair)

CHAIR -- How's that?

LIZ -- Well, you didn't collapse. But, I don't feel very rested. 
When do I start feeling rested?

CHAIR -- When you let ME bear all of your weight. You can't rest 
if you're trying to hold yourself up.

LIZ -- Yeah, but if I put all my weight on you,... you could... 
well, alright, you haven't lied to me so far.

CHAIR -- I am incapable of lying. That's just the way I am.

LIZ -- (slides back into chairs, rests, sighs) Hey, this is 
nice, this is really nice. This is really restful. (sighs, 
closes eyes) I really needed this.

CHAIR -- It's nice letting someone else carry your weight 
sometimes, isn't it?

LIZ -- (eyes closed, sleepy) Huh? Did you say something?

CHAIR -- Are you going to tell your friends about me?

LIZ -- I'm not very good at that. I don't want to seem pushy.

CHAIR -- I'm not asking you to force people to sit down. I'm 
merely asking you to tell them where to find rest. 

LIZ -- Oh, I suppose I could do that. If they have faith the 
size of a mustard seed they'll take the hint like I did, won't 
they?

CHAIR -- That's the whole idea.

LIZ -- (straightens, eyes open) Oh! (looks at watch) Speaking of 
friends, I have to meet someone on the other end of the mall. 
(stands, wriggles body) Isn't that amazing!? I feel completely 
refreshed already. (backing away) Thank you. Thank you very 
much.

CHAIR -- You are welcome...any time.

LIZ -- (backing away) I... I'm going to tell my friend about 
you.

CHAIR -- That would be very generous of you.

LIZ -- (turns exits) I can't believe I was talking to a chair.

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