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BURGLAR  5'?m2f Suicide, despair, hope

(optional light cue: dim to 50%)

ANGEL -- (enters wearing white tunic, crosses to podium or chest 
of drawers, inspects contents, removes small package, hears Liz 
coming, hides)

LIZ -- (enters wearing pajamas, robe, slippers, flicks on
lights)

(optional light cue: lights up full)

LIZ -- (crosses to podium or chest of drawers, inspects
contents) Well, what happened to them? They were right here. I
know they were right here. I just saw them. How could they just
disappear?! (gasps, straightens, clutches at lapels of robe)
Someone must be in the house! Who's there? Is someone there?

ANGEL -- You got a gun, lady?

LIZ -- No. Yes! I have a gun. A big gun. With bullets.

ANGEL -- (steps out of hiding) No, you don't. You don't have a 
gun.

LIZ -- (puts hand in pocket, points finger at Amy) Yes, I do.
It's a... thirty... nine... millimeter... Smith... and...
Howitzer. It's in my pocket and it's pointed right at you.

ANGEL -- Yeah, sure.

LIZ -- Don't come any closer or I'll...

ANGEL -- You'll what? Shoot me with your fingernail?

LIZ -- Stay where you are!

ANGEL -- I'm not coming any closer. I got what I came for.

LIZ -- What did you come for? What did you take from me?!

ANGEL -- What were you just looking for?

LIZ -- My sleeping pills.

ANGEL -- Bingo!

LIZ -- That's ridiculous! Nobody breaks into people's houses
just to steal their sleeping pills.

ANGEL -- I do.

LIZ -- Show me. Show me or I'll blast you.

ANGEL -- (reveals small package) There. Now are you satisfied?

LIZ -- Those are my sleeping pills.

ANGEL -- Duh! Isn't that what I just said?!

LIZ -- Well, that's really stupid! With all my jewelry and
cameras and things... I mean, I don't have any jewelry or
cameras or anything. But if I did, why would you go for my
sleeping pills?!

ANGEL -- To keep you from killing yourself.

LIZ -- Wait a minute. Who told you? I never told anyone that I
was contemplating suicide. How did you.... (clutches at lapels)
Who are you?! What are you doing in my house?!

ANGEL -- I thought we covered that.

LIZ -- You didn't break into my house just to steal some stupid
sleeping pills!

ANGEL -- Then, why do I have them?

LIZ -- This is really freaking me out.

ANGEL -- I'm sorry, I didn't come here to freak you out.

LIZ -- I know. You came to steal my pills, so I wouldn't O.D.

ANGEL -- That's right.

LIZ -- I must be dreaming all of this. There is no way anyone
could know I was contemplating suicide... Unless....

ANGEL -- Unless.... what?

LIZ -- You're, like, an... angel, right?

ANGEL -- Right.

LIZ -- No way. You're lying.

ANGEL -- If you didn't want to hear the answer, you shouldn't 
have asked the question.

LIZ -- You're an angel?

ANGEL -- Yes.

LIZ -- Really?!

ANGEL -- Really.

LIZ -- Well, what are you doing here?!

ANGEL -- I thought we covered that.

LIZ -- So, you came here to save my life.

ANGEL -- In a manner of speaking.

LIZ -- In a manner of speaking.

ANGEL -- Well, the Lord gave you a free will. If you want to 
kill yourself, the Lord will let you. But before you do, He just
wants to remind you of a few things that you may have forgotten
because of all the pain you're in.

LIZ -- What things?

ANGEL -- Did you know that most people who delay the decision to
kill themselves ultimately decide NOT to kill themselves?

LIZ -- No, I didn't know that. Why is that?

ANGEL -- Hope.

LIZ -- Hope.

ANGEL -- Yes, hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you 
have won't last.

LIZ -- Excuse me?

ANGEL -- Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have
won't last.

LIZ -- So, you're saying that if I just wait a while, I won't
FEEL like killing myself.

ANGEL -- That's right.

LIZ -- How do you know that?

ANGEL -- I work for the guy who designed the universe. That's 
the way the universe works. When your pain increases, you stop
thinking about solving your problems and start thinking about
stopping the pain. If you wait a while, the pain will subside
and you'll be able to think about solving your problems again.

LIZ -- You're right. All I want to do now is to get the pain to
stop. Tell me about hope again.

ANGEL -- Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have
won't last.

LIZ -- So, you think that if I just give it a little more
time...

ANGEL -- The pain will subside and you'll be able to think about
solving your problems. But it's a lot easier if you get someone
to help you. Don't try to carry the load all by yourself.

LIZ -- Alright. I'll try a little hope.

ANGEL -- And you'll get some help?

LIZ -- I was thinking of asking my pastor about it, but... Yes!
I'll get someone to help me. I will.

ANGEL -- Good. Then, you can have these back. (offers pills)

LIZ -- (flicks the air) Take them with you! (exiting) I don't
need pills if I have hope. Hope is the feeling I have that the
feeling I have won't last.

ANGEL -- (exits opposite) Good night.

LIZ -- (turns) Tell the Lord, "Thanks for the hope."

ANGEL -- (turns) Tell him yourself. He's just a prayer away.
(exits)

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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