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BOTHER   5'?m3f Don't bother God with petty prayer requests

ASHLY -- (enters, kneels) Good morning, Lord. Thanks for this 
beautiful day. I just have a couple things I need today. (reads 
from small slip of paper) First, I need a new pair of tennis 
shoes, then I still haven't had time to do my Bible study 
homework, so I'll need about 45 minutes of free time...

DEMON -- (enters, shouts) Hey! Hey! What do you think you're 
doing?! Why are you bothering God with your petty little 
requests?!

ASHLY -- (oblivious to Demon and Angel's presence, strokes chin 
thoughtfully)

ANGEL -- (enters carrying Bible) Excuse me, but who gave you 
permission to interrogate my client?

DEMON -- YOUR client?! YOUR client?

ANGEL -- Yes. My client is right in the middle of morning 
prayers and does not wish to be disturbed, thank you!

DEMON -- YOUR client?! I don't see your name tattooed on this 
person.

ANGEL -- She was assigned to me. So, I'll thank you to leave her 
alone.

DEMON -- You have no idea who you're dealing with, do you?

ANGEL -- Actually, I don't care who you are. I'm the guardian 
angel assigned to this person. So, she is MY client. And my 
client has a very busy day ahead of her. So, she needs to talk 
to the Lord...

DEMON -- Did you hear the garbage she was asking for?

ANGEL -- My client has learned to be content in whatever 
the circumstances. So, I'm sure she's only asking for what she 
needs...

DEMON -- ...She asked the creator of the universe for a pair of 
tennis shoes!

ANGEL -- Well, I happen to know that the heels on her tennis 
shoes are worn out and...

DEMON -- ...No, no! You don't understand. She's bothering the 
creator of a billion billion stars for a pair of tennis shoes!

ANGEL -- It's no bother, as long as she needs them.

DEMON -- What planet are YOU from, pal? (talks near Ashly's ear) 
Don't you know that the Lord is very busy running the universe 
and doesn't have time to trifle with a pair of tennis shoes!?

ANGEL -- (opens Bible deftly) Well, sure he does! Look here. 
(into Ashly's other ear) "And my God will meet ALL your needs." 
See? (points) He's not just talking about the BIG needs.

DEMON -- I can read. I can read! But you have apparently not 
read the newspaper today. (into Ashly's ear) There's a flood in 
Bangladesh, a tornado in Oklahoma, an avalanche in Switzerland 
and a hurricane in the Dominican Republic. The Lord doesn't have 
time for your petty little prayers. Now, aren't you sorry that 
you've wasted so much of God's valuable time?

ANGEL -- (opens Bible deftly) Actually, I'm quite sure she's not 
sorry at all. The Bible says to (into Ashly's other ear) "Trust 
in the Lord with ALL your heart." You see, the Lord WANTS her to 
be completely dependent upon him for her every need. That's why 
she was created.

DEMON -- Look, pal, that dependency stuff might be good for 
giving warm wooly feelings to the little kiddies, but we're all 
adults here. (in Ashly's ear) And don't forget that there was a 
plane crash in Bolivia and a train wreck in Barcelona. The Lord 
is way too busy to worry about tennis shoes!

ANGEL -- (opens Bible deftly) Actually, Jesus said exactly the 
opposite (points, reads into Ashly's ear) "I tell you the truth, 
unless you change and become like little children, you will 
never enter the kingdom of heaven"

DEMON -- Alright! Knock off the scripture reading, pal! Do you 
know who you're dealing with?!

ANGEL -- You asked me that before and it really doesn't matter 
who I'm dealing w....

DEMON -- ...Do you know who CAUSED that plane crash in Columbia?

ANGEL -- Bolivia.

DEMON -- Whatever! Do you know who CAUSED that train wreck in 
Madrid?

ANGEL -- Barcelona.

DEMON -- Don't get technical with me, buddy! I am one powerful 
demon! I make things happen! (in Ashly's ear) And I can make 
life miserable for our little friend here!

ANGEL -- (opens Bible deftly) Actually, the Bible says exactly 
the opposite (points, reads into Ashly's ear) "...the one who is 
in you is greater than the one who is in the world."

DEMON -- (into Ashly's ear) Don't listen to that meat head! The 
Lord is too busy cleaning up after all my disasters to answer 
your petty little prayers. 

ASHLY -- Where was I? Oh yes. I need a pair of tennis shoes. I 
need about 45 minutes of down time to finish my Bible study...

(sound cue: knock, knock, knock)

I wonder who that could be? (stands exits)

DEMON -- Who cares, as long as it interrupts your petty little 
prayers....

ASHLY -- (reenters carrying a shoe box) Hey! My Mom sent me a 
pair of tennis shoes for my birthday. (looks up) Thanks, Lord! 
(exits)

ANGEL -- (exiting, mocking) The Lord is way too busy for petty 
little prayers. (laughs)

DEMON -- (follows) Ha. Ha. Very funny.

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