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BORNNOW  6'2m0f If Jesus was born today...

(option background sound: traffic noise)

BOB -- (enters wearing security guard uniform, waving flashlight 
at imaginary passing cars, shouts as he crosses) Keep moving! 
Keep moving! 

KEN -- (enters wearing robe and Arabian head dress over three 
piece suit, carrying ornate wooden box, speaks with Arabian or 
Hindi accent) Excuse me, sir.

BOB -- (crosses to Ken hurriedly) Oh, hey, buddy, you're going 
to get yourself run over there. 

KEN -- (backs up) Sorry.

BOB -- (holds up flashlight, shouts) Okay, hold up. Let the man 
pass.

KEN -- (crosses to Bob) Thank you, kind sir. (bows)

BOB -- Just doing my job. (shouts and motions to imaginary cars) 
Alright, keep it moving! Keep it moving!

KEN -- Why are all these cars here at four O'clock in the 
morning?

BOB -- I guess they're here for the same reason you're here, to 
see the kid.

KEN -- The kid?

BOB -- Yeah, the baby. The baby Jesus.

KEN -- But they're all going into the parking ramp. (points 
offstage)

BOB -- Yeah. That where he is.(shouts and motions to traffic) 
Keep it moving! Keep it moving.

KEN -- I'm sorry. I don't understand. Isn't the baby in the 
Hospital next door? (points offstage)

BOB -- No. The baby's parents didn't have H.M.O. or anything, so 
the baby was born in the back seat of their car.

KEN -- Maybe I have the wrong baby. They said "Bethlehem".

BOB -- This is Bethlehem, the city of King David.

KEN -- But the (points up) stars said the baby would be born a 
king. Kings aren't born in the back seats of cars!

BOB -- You obviously don't your Tanack.

KEN -- My what?

BOB -- Your Tanack, your Bible, your Old Testament.

KEN -- Well, actually, I don't. There is no Bible written in our 
language. What I know about the baby is from the stars. (points 
up) And what the stars told me is that the baby would be from 
the constellation Virgo.

BOB -- Yeah, well, that agrees with the Bible. The baby was born 
of a virgin.

KEN -- He was?

BOB -- Yes. (shouts, motions) Keep moving people, keep moving.

KEN -- But you talked about the baby's PARENTS. He has a father?

BOB -- Yeah, apparently the Joe, the baby's father, is an auto 
mechanic. (smiles) By the way, he restored this 1953 Studebaker 
to mint condition. They drove it here from Capernaum or one of 
those hick towns way out by the lake. After the mother had the 
baby, she laid it in the trunk of the car so everybody could see 
him as they drive by. Just look for a fire-engine-red 
Studebaker, (points offstage as he crosses back) it's the only 
one in parking ramp. (shouts and motions) Two lines people. Keep 
it moving.

KEN -- (follows) But how can the baby be born of a virgin if the 
woman has a husband?

BOB -- Oh, Joe married the girl after she became pregnant.

KEN -- I see. I think. But how is it that a king is born in a 
Stude... Stude...

BOB -- Studebaker... 1953... Mint condition.

KEN -- Yes, but he's supposed to be a king. The stars said he is 
also from constellation Leo, the Lion, the sign of a king.

BOB -- He WILL be a king. But the Tanack doesn't say he will be 
BORN a king. King David wasn't a king at birth either. He was 
annointed king.

KEN -- I see.

BOB -- So, go see him. He's in the trunk...

KEN -- ...Ah, yes,... if you're quite sure...

BOB -- Oh, I'm quite sure. Go right in.

KEN -- How can you be so sure?

BOB -- So sure?

KEN -- That he's the one.

BOB -- An angel of God visited me a couple of hours ago to 
announce the birth. Scared the wits out of me! Told me exactly 
where I'd find him. And BOOM there he was. A couple minutes 
later, all these cars started streaming in.

KEN -- An angel, you say?

BOB -- Yes. See all the people in these cars? (points) They were 
probably visited by the angel too. He apparently visited 
everybody in Bethlehem who was awake all night. Most of these 
guys are security guards and gas station attendants. I even 
recognized a late night disc jockey.

KEN -- You don't say. (turns to exit)

BOB -- So, what's in the box? 

KEN -- (points at box, opens mouth to speak)

BOB -- No. Let me guess. Gold, incense and myrrh.

KEN -- How did you know?

BOB -- You're the third guy who came here dressed in a choir 
robe.

KEN -- This is not a choir robe... How did you know (point to 
box) this was gold, incense and myrrh?

BOB -- The other guys brought the same thing.

KEN -- Did they happen to tell you why they brought the myrrh?

BOB -- Yes, they said that the stars told them to bring myrrh.

KEN -- Yes. That's what the stars told me too. But I don't 
understand why. Myrrh is a spice used in the preparation of a 
dead body before it's buried. Why would the stars tell us to 
bring burial spice to a new born baby. Isn't he in good health?

BOB -- Oh, he's fine! According to the Tanack, the myrrh is just 
like the gold and the incense. It's a prediction of future 
events.

KEN -- Well, I can see why the stars told us to bring the gold. 
That's a sign that the baby will be king.

BOB -- Yes.

KEN -- And the incense says that he will also be a priest.

BOB -- That's true too.

KEN -- Yes. Those two makes sense. In my country the high priest 
is also the king. But what I don't understand is the myrrh. It's 
symbol of death.

BOB -- That's because you don't know your Tanack. The Bible says 
the messiah will die for his people.

KEN -- Oh! That is terrible! I will tell my king! He will come 
to the baby's defense! We can't let a king be killed!

BOB -- Cool your jets. It's all in God's plan. 

KEN -- Plan? What plan?

BOB -- The baby Jesus was born to become a king and a priest. 
But his MAIN purpose was to die for the sins of his people.

KEN -- But why? Don't you have animal sacrifice for sin?

BOB -- Yes. But animal sacrifice is only to show that the 
shedding of blood is necessary for the forgiveness of sins. But 
God's plan all along was that his son would die once for all the 
sins that the world will ever commit.

KEN -- Your God would do that?

BOB -- Yes, he would.

KEN -- I must see this brave and selfless son of God.

BOB -- (points offstage) Follow the line of cars. Level 2. Red 
Studebaker, you can't miss it. 

KEN -- (backs toward exit) Thank you. (exits)

BOB -- Your welcome. (exits opposite motioning and shouting) 
Alright, keep it moving, keep it moving.

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
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