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BALANCE  5'3m?f Spiritual warfare, standards, compassion

SATAN -- (enters dragging Demon1 by the ear) How could you do
this to me?!

DEMON1 -- (in pain) Ooo! Aaah! Why are you mad at me, boss? I
was just doing my job.

SATAN -- What kind of a demon are you?! Your job was to
neutralize that church! Does that church look neutralized to
you?! (points to audience)

DEMON1 -- Ooo! Aaah! My ear, boss. Can you let go of my ear?

SATAN -- When I get some answers. You were supposed to render
that church useless to the Christian cause.

DEMON1 -- Ooo! Aaah! I was working on it, boss. I was working on
it. I followed your instructions to a tee.

SATAN -- Your job was to get them so involved with legalism that
they would drive away potential Christians.

DEMON1 -- Ooo! Aaah! And I did that boss. I got them passing
judgement on one another.

SATAN -- Keep talking.

DEMON1 -- Ooo! Aaah! My ear. It's difficult to concentrate when
I'm in pain.

SATAN -- (releases ear) I'm listening, but this better be good.

DEMON1 -- I got the church observing rules that are never even
mentioned in the Bible, boss, rules like "no drinking", "no
smoking", "no gambling", "no dancing", "no movies". They was
treating the rules of man as if they was from God himself.
That's what I was supposed to do, wasn't I, boss?

SATAN -- Yes. That strategy usually drives away prospective
Christians in droves.

DEMON1 -- All them rules always worked before, boss. It's like
slamming a door in their faces.

SATAN -- Then, why is that church still attracting new
Christians?! (grabs ear)

DEMON2 -- (enters, turns back immediately) Oh, oh.

SATAN -- (releases ear, shouts) Just where do you think you're
going?!

DEMON2 -- (without turning) You're busy, boss. I'll come back
later.... (steps toward exit)

SATAN -- Freeze, demon!

DEMON2 -- (freezes) I'm frozen, boss.

SATAN -- Get over here!

DEMON2 -- (crossing) Listen, boss, I don't know why you're mad,
but whatever it is....

SATAN -- Do you know anything about that church?

DEMON2 -- Listen, boss, I've been working hard against that
church. I've done everything I could...

SATAN -- (turns) Oh, no.

DEMON2 -- What's the matter, boss!

DEMON1 -- Yeah, is something wrong, boss?

SATAN -- Yes, something is wrong! BOTH of you have been working
on the same church!

DEMON1 -- That's impossible, boss, you assigned that church to
me.

DEMON2 -- No, he didn't, he assigned that church to me.

SATAN -- Oh, no. It finally happened. I'll have to take matters
into my own hands. (turns to exit)

DEMON2 -- Wait a minute, boss. If you had two demons working on
one church, shouldn't it be a disaster by now?

SATAN -- (turns) Ordinarily, yes. But you two were working
opposite strategies.

BOTH -- Opposite strategies?

SATAN -- Yes, I had one of you working on half of the churches
trying to implement legalism, getting them to impose rules
without compassion. And I assigned the other one to work on the
other half of the churches trying to implement liberalism, which
is exactly the opposite strategy.

DEMON1 -- Liberalism. What's liberalism?

DEMON2 -- Liberalism is compassion without any standards, not
even the standards commanded in the Bible. I try to get my
churches to throw away all rules and not judge anyone. Within a
year or two, the church falls apart for lack of self-discipline.

DEMON1 -- Oh. I see. But, if we were both whacking at the same
church, the place should be in total chaos by now.

SATAN -- No. Liberalism and legalism sort of cancelled each
other out.

DEMON1 -- I don't get it.

SATAN -- With both standards and compassion in one church, we
don't stand a chance.

DEMON1 -- Why not?

DEMON2 -- Because standards and compassion is what Jesus
teaches.

SATAN -- (shouts) Don't say that name around me!

DEMON2 -- Sorry, boss.

DEMON1 -- I must be a little dense. But, how can a church have
BOTH standards and compassion?

SATAN -- I'll explain it to you. But not a word of this to
anybody!

DEMON1 -- Mum's the word, boss.

SATAN -- If the Christians get a hold of this secret, we're
finished.

DEMON2 -- That bad, boss?!

SATAN -- That's why I told you two never to compare notes. If a
church has compassion, it will realize that non-believers are
turned off by too many rules. It will cut back on the rules in
order to attract seekers. But, if a church with compassion
stresses the standards in the Bible, new believers find out that
their lives actually run smoother.

DEMON2 -- No wonder that church is doing so well!

SATAN -- Yes, and because of that, I have to take matters into
my own hands. (turns)

DEMON1 -- What are you going to do, boss?

SATAN -- I have to unleash my secret weapon.

DEMON2 -- Secret weapon? What secret weapon?

SATAN -- (turns) When a church has a balance between standards
and compassion, the only weapon we have left is complacency.
(turns) Come with me! And bring your big guns!

DEMON1 -- (follows rubbing hands together) Ooo! Do I see a war
coming on?

DEMON2 -- (follows) Those Christians don't stand a chance
against complacency.

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
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http://www.bobsnook.org  email: bob@bobsnook.org

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