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ANGELS   6'0m3f Guardian angels are just airy-fairy... right?

CINDY -- (enters with Bible, sits in chair DC, reads, while 
the two angels interact behind her)

ANGEL -- (worldly, sly, enters looks both ways while crossing to 
Cindy, rolls up sleeves, raises hands, as if she's about to cast 
a spell on Cindy)

GRACE -- (naive, enters, sees Angel) Excuse me....

ANGEL -- (freezes, looks around, caught with hands raised, 
smooths own hair) You talking to me?

GRACE -- Yes, I think there's been a mistake. I think she's...

ANGEL -- You can see me?

GRACE -- Well, of course, I can see you. Angels can see 
everything, including other angels. But, I'm afraid we've got 
our wires crossed.

ANGEL -- We do?

GRACE -- Yes. (pulls slip of paper from pocket) According to 
this dispatch sheet, Cindy, here, has been assigned to me. 
(points to paper) See? But it looks like YOU were already 
assigned to her. You ARE an angel, aren't you?

ANGEL -- Yes, of course. Well, it looks like they went and did 
it again.

GRACE -- What do you mean?

ANGEL -- The dispatchers are always issuing dupes.

GRACE -- Dupes?

ANGEL -- Duplicate assignments. Two angels for one human being. 
Dupes. You know.

GRACE -- I thought everything in Heaven was perfect. How could 
they...

ANGEL -- You must be new at this GUARDIAN angel business, aren't 
you?

GRACE -- Well, yes. I used to be in the chorus of the Heavenly 
Host. But they reassigned me to guard duty. (points at Cindy) 
Cindy is my first assignment. (smiles nervously)

ANGEL -- I've guarded Cindy since she became a Christian. You'd 
better go back to dispatch and tell them about the dupe. (turns 
to Cindy as soon as Grace turns away)


GRACE -- (pause) Oh.... alright... (points offstage) I'll just 
go back to dispatch and (begins to exit) tell them about the, 
ah,... (turns back, snaps fingers expectantly) about the, ah,... 

ANGEL -- The dupe. It happens all the time, especially to new 
guardian angels. (fans the air at Grace) Hurry along, now. 
Some poor human is probably going without a guardian angel 
because of this mess up. (turns to Cindy as soon as Grace turns 
away, raises hands)

GRACE -- (turns to exit) Yes, I should probably hurry... (stops, 
turns back) Oh. I need to know your name.

ANGEL -- (caught with hands raised, freezes, smooth own hair) My 
name?

GRACE -- Yes, I'm sure the dispatcher will want to know who's 
guarding Cindy.

ANGEL -- They already have me listed. It's in the book. You 
hurry along now. You've got to get reassigned. (turns to Cindy 
as soon as Grace turns away)


GRACE -- Yes, I guess you're right. (turns to exit, stops, turns 
back) Listen, I hate to be a pest, but, if they assigned me to 
the wrong human being -- you know, a DUPE -- they may have 
accidentally removed your name from the book. So, what was your 
name?

ANGEL -- (caught with hands raised, smooths hair) Huh?

GRACE -- Your name?

ANGEL -- Ah, Angel.

GRACE -- Angel? As in...

BOTH --- Guardian Angel.

ANGEL -- That's right.

GRACE -- That's cute. What a cute name. (shakes Angel's hand 
vigorously, smile) Nice to meet you, Angel. My name is Grace.

ANGEL -- (pries hand away, looks at watch) Gee, look at the 
time. You'd better get going. (turns to Cindy as soon as Grace 
turns away)


GRACE -- Oh, yes. (turns to exit) I'm sure I'll get used to the 
routine some day. This is all very confusing. (stops, turns 
back) By the way, Angel, when were you assigned to Cindy? 

ANGEL -- (caught again, smooths hair, irritated) What difference 
does it make?

GRACE -- Well, I don't know how this works. But, if they can't 
find your name, they may have to cross-reference it with the 
date that you were assigned to Cindy. 

ANGEL -- All human beings are assigned a guardian angel when 
they accept (unconfortable) J.... when they accept 
(unconfortable) J.... when they convert to the faith. I've been 
guarding Cindy since Easter of 1995.

GRACE -- (tilts head) That's funny. They told me that she just 
accepted Jesus... 

ANGEL -- (gasps)

GRACE -- ...as her personal savior. What's the matter?

ANGEL -- Nothing. It's just an allergy. (pats her own chest)

GRACE -- Well, I may be new to the guardian business, but I'm 
not new to being an angel. And I know that angels don't have 
allergies. This is a joke, right?.... (points at Angel, smiles) 
Something they do to new recruits?

ANGEL -- Yeah, yeah, that's it.

GRACE -- (smiles) I knew it. That's very funny. So, why did you 
gasp when I said the name of Jesus?

ANGEL -- (gasps)

GRACE -- There. You did it again.

ANGEL -- No, I didn't.

GRACE -- Yes, you did. Jesus.

ANGEL -- (gasps)

GRACE -- See? That proves it. Jesus.

ANGEL -- (gasps) Will you stop that!?

GRACE -- Why? I love the name of Jesus. 

ANGEL -- (gasps)

GRACE -- When I was in the chorus of the Heavenly Host we sang 
the name of Jesus...

ANGEL -- (gasps)

GRACE -- ...all the time. (sings to audience, while Angel covers 
her ears) Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, there's just something about that 
name...

ANGEL -- (irritated) Shouldn't you be going now?

GRACE -- (stops singing, looks to Angel) Huh?

ANGEL -- (irritated) I said, shouldn't you be going now? We're 
all quite familiar with that stupid song.

GRACE -- You're not an angel of light.

ANGEL -- I am too. I'm as light as light can be.

GRACE -- I may be new at this guardian stuff, but it doesn't 
take a genious to notice that you can't speak the name of the 
Lord J...

ANGEL -- (holds ears, interrupts)...Shouldn't you be going now?

GRACE -- You not only can't speak his name, but you can't stand 
to hear it either. Jesus.

ANGEL -- (gasps, grabs own throat, holds up hand to stop Grace) 
Stop it!

GRACE -- You're an angel alright. But you're an angel of 
darkness. 

ANGEL -- (smiles) Well, sister, I guess I underestimated you.

GRACE -- Don't call me sister. You're no sister of mine. The 
training supervisor said you demons were devious, but I had no 
idea. You were going to fill Cindy's mind with worldly thoughts 
so she wouldn't grow in the Lord, weren't you?

ANGEL -- Hey, no hard feelings. It's my job.

GRACE -- You should leave now.

ANGEL -- (points at the top of Grace's head) Say, is your halo 
on crooked or is just me? (while grace is distracted, points at 
Cindy, twirls finger in small circles)

GRACE -- My halo? (looks up, feels for halo) Angels don't have 
halos. That just something they showed in paintings to...

CINDY -- (looks up from book) Where in the world did that 
thought come from?

GRACE -- (irritated, hands on hips, shakes head, sighs) Very 
clever. (turns, bends over speaks in Cindy's ear) It's okay, 
Cindy. A thought is not a sin. Set it aside and get back to your 
Bible.

CINDY -- I guess it's not a sin to have a thought come into my 
mind. Oh, well... (shrugs, resumes reading)

GRACE -- (to Angel, points to exit) Now, you'd better leave.

ANGEL -- (points at Grace's legs) Say, I hate to mention this 
but your slip is showing. (while Grace is distracted, points at 
Cindy, twirls finger in small circles) 

GRACE -- (looks down, turns in both directions) Where? No, it 
isn't. My slip isn't show....

CINDY -- (looks up from Bible) There it goes again. I haven't 
thought about that is years.

GRACE -- (irritated, points at Angel) You are clever. You are 
really clever.  (bends, speaks in Cindy's ear) It's okay, Cindy. 
It was just a thought. Set it aside and get back to your 
Bible....

CINDY -- (shrugs, resumes reading)

GRACE -- (to Angel) You'd better leave now.

ANGEL -- (smiles) Why? This is kind of fun. (points at Cindy) 

GRACE -- (steps between Angel and Cindy) I rebuke you in the 
name of Jesus.

ANGEL -- (gasps, grabs throat, backs toward exit) Oh, sure, now 
you play dirty. I dare you to rebuke me in somebody else's name.

GRACE -- (follows, singing, as both exit) Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, 
there's just something about that name...

CINDY -- (looks at watch) Oh, oh, time to go. (stands, exits, 
singing) Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, there's just something about that 
name...

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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