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ADULTERY 4'2m1f Adultery: To have and to hold until...

REV -- (pastor enters, carrying Bible, crosses casually to C)

(music cue: wedding march)

BOB & AMY -- (enter from opposite exits, walk slowly to C, clasp 
hands)

REV -- Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God 
to join this man and this woman in the holy state of matrimony. 
For this ceremony the bride and groom have chosen to write there 
own marriage vows. Amy?

AMY -- I Amy take you Bob to be my lawfully wedded husband, to 
have and to hold from this day forward, to love and to cherish 
as much as my career and hobbies will allow.

REV -- Excuse me, but what kind of a commitment is that?

AMY -- Well, Bob and I have discussed this marriage thoroughly. 
We decided that the reason that half of all marriages end in 
divorce is because people demand way too much of each other. We 
didn't want marriage to be such a big burden.

REV -- Uh huh.

AMY -- (long pause) It's Bob's turn.

REV -- Yes. Yes, of course. Bob?

BOB -- I Bob take you Amy to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have 
and to hold from this day forward, to love and to cherish and 
to respect your space and your freedom as long as we both shall 
live...

REV -- (raises finger, ready to speak)

BOB -- However, when your beauty begins to fade or if 
childbearing makes you less attractive or if our bedroom life 
becomes monotonous, I reserve the right to take up relations 
with another partner, provided that she's more attractive than 
you.

REV -- (clears throat) Listen, I think it's very commendable of 
you both to be so thoughtful of your forthcoming union that you 
wrote your own vows. But, the Lord demands more of a marriage...

AMY -- ... I tried to talk Bob out of that part about other 
partners, but my biological clock is ticking...

REV -- Marriage is more than just a license to have children...

AMY -- ... It is? But I thought...

BOB -- ... Listen, I'm just trying to be flexible.

REV -- Marriage was designed to be a constant reminder of the 
Lord's commitment to his church.

BOB & AMY -- It was?

REV -- Yes. He made several references to it in the Bible.

BOB -- No kidding?!

REV -- No kidding. Christ died for his bride, the church...

BOB -- ... Oh, you don't expect me to...

REV -- No. I'm not talking about shedding blood. But the Lord 
does expect his bride the church to be pure and holy, to take 
their commitment to their new life with him very seriously.

BOB -- How... seriously? (swallows)

REV -- He expects you to be loyal and true to each other 
exclusively...

AMY -- See, Bob, I told you. You need to rethink your vows.

REV -- So do you.

AMY -- Me? What's wrong with MY vows?

REV -- There's more ways to dishonor your marriage commitment 
than to take up with other partners.

AMY -- There is?

REV -- Yes. Adultery is allowing ANY outside commitment to 
overpower your marriage, including your hobbies and your job.

BOB -- That can't mean MY job too.

REV -- ANY commitment that overpowers your marriage dishonors 
God's commitment to his church. The Bible is full of references 
to God's anger when his people put ANYTHING ahead of their 
devotion to him.

AMY & BOB -- Oh, wow. (turn to opposite exits)

REV -- Where are you going?

BOB -- (turns) I'll be right back. I have to go rewrite my vows. 
(exits)

AMY -- Me too. (exits)

REV -- (to congregation) Take a break. This good take a while. 
(exits)

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