ACCESS   3'?m1f Monologue: salvation by grace vs works

(enters hurriedly)

Hi. Sorry I'm late. I was assigned to report to you on my tour
of an atomic submarine, but I almost didn't make it on board.
You see, when I got to the Naval shipyards, I was met at the
gate by two marines with automatic weapons. And when I told them
that I was there to take a tour of their submarine, they told me
that my name was not on their list and that I couldn't go on
board. They were completely humorless.

I assured them that there was nothing on board a nuclear
submarine that I didn't already know about. I mean, for years
I've been reading everything I could get my hands on about
nuclear submarines. I'm an expert on atomic propulsion, global
navigation, computer electronics and computer programming. I
have detailed diagrams of atomic submarines on the walls of my
bedroom. I know all about attack subs and Trident
missle-launching subs. I know all about nuclear weapons and the
programming of missle guidance systems.

However, those humorless gun-toting marines were not impressed
with how much I knew about atomic submarines. One of them told
me that even if I was a PhD in nuclear physics or rocket
propulsion, I could not go on board, unless my name was on their

I said, "Look. If you're worried that I'll give away some
defense department secrets, don't worry. I have a security
clearance from the department of defense." I showed them my
card, but they were not impressed. They didn't even look at the

(holds up hands, relives the frustration, turns) "I know. I
know. If I'm not on the list, I can't go on board."

Then, they told me I'd have to leave. (sighs)

Just then, a bright red sports car drove up and parked in a
reserved parking space right by the gang-plank. A guy in an
officer's uniform with a chest full of medals got out and
immediately the two marines came to attention and saluted.

(imitates) "Welcome aboard, Captain."

He saluted them. Then, he shook my hand.

(imitates hand shake and captains voice) "Hi, I'm Captain
Rogers. Come on aboard."

(looks at hand in disbelief, looks to audience)

Then he told the marines. (imitates) "This person is with me."

Then, he whisked me on board the submarine for a tour. And the
marines didn't even say a word. I resisted the temptation to
sneer at those jar heads... marines.

Anyway, isn't that interesting?! All my learning, all my
studying, all my knowledge couldn't get me on board. Even my
secret clearance couldn't get me on board. There was nothing I 
could DO to get myself on board. The only way I could get on 
board was to be accompanied by someone in authority, someone who 
belongs there! Does that sound familiar?

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