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SNAKE    5'2m?f Puppets: Why God made Satan as a snake

(scene: a hedge or wall high enough to hide the naked body)

(note: both parts may be played by one puppeteer)

SNAKE -- (puppet -- may be a green sock puppet -- springs up,
boing!) Huh?! (examines own body) Oh, no! It can't be! What am I
going to do?! How could the Lord do this to me?! (looks left and
right) Oh, oh, somebody is coming! I know. My body is the same
color as the bushes. Maybe if I just hold still maybe he(she)
won't even notice me.

PERSON -- (enters with clipboard, pencil) And there's another
creature. What shall we call it? (tilts head left and right)
It's green. It slithers along the ground. It's skinny.

SNAKE -- Hey, pal, who you calling skinny?!

PERSON -- Well, it talks!

SNAKE -- (mocks) Well, it talks! I suppose you thought YOU were
the only creature on earth who can talk.

PERSON -- No. Actually, I found a bird that could talk. I called
it... (pages through clipboard) I called it a parrot. So, what
shall I call you?

SNAKE -- You could call me Satan, since, (shouts, nose to nose)
THAT'S MY NAME!

PERSON -- Oh, it's nice to meet you Satan. My name is ADAM(EVE).
But I still need to decide what kind of creature you are, since
the Lord put us in charge of giving names to all the creatures
of the earth. I think I shall call you a... I shall call you a
SNAKE. Yes, that's it. (writes) From here on out, you shall be
called a SNAKE.

SNAKE -- (looks over the top of the clip board) That's what I'm
trying to tell you, pal. I'm not really a creature at all.

PERSON -- You sure look like a creature.

SNAKE -- No, see, for some reason, the Lord put me into the body
of a... of a....

PERSON -- Snake.

SNAKE -- Yes, that's right. The Lord made me occupy the body of
a snake temporarily. But I'm not really a snake.

PERSON -- You're not?

SNAKE -- No. (swaggers) "I" happen to be the prince of the power
of the air.

PERSON -- Oh, dear. That's a very long name. I don't think a
name that long will even fit on my paper.

SNAKE -- (nose to nose, shouts) That's what I'm trying to tell
you, pal. I'm not a creature. I don't belong on the list at all!

PERSON -- You don't?

SNAKE -- You have no idea who you're dealing with here, do you?

PERSON -- Yes, your name is Satan and you are a (reads
clipboard) snake.

SNAKE -- No, I mean. You have no idea what a special person I
am.

PERSON -- No, I guess I don't.

SNAKE -- You see, a prince is the one who rules over all the
other creatures.

PERSON -- The one who RULES over all the other creatures.

SNAKE -- That's right.

PERSON -- That's impossible.

SNAKE -- Why is that impossible?

PERSON -- Because the Lord told us that WE were supposed to rule
over all the creatures.

SNAKE -- YOU?!

PERSON -- Yes, and besides. You couldn't possibly do our job
anyway.

SNAKE -- Why not?

PERSON -- You've got no hands. How could you write down the
names?

SNAKE -- I'm telling you, I am the prince of the power of the
air!

PERSON -- And you rule over all the creatures of the earth.

SNAKE -- That's right.

PERSON -- I'm sorry, I just don't see how you could do that.
You slither along the ground. You're small and skinny.

SNAKE -- Will you stop with the insults?!

PERSON -- I'm sorry. How else would you describe YOU.

SNAKE -- (examines self) Let's see. Long and...

PERSON -- Skinny.

SNAKE -- There you go again.

PERSON -- I'm sorry, but, how could anyone possibly take you
seriously? You're just a... you're just a... (reads clipboard)
snake.

SNAKE -- Look, this is just a temporary condition. Some day the 
Lord will let me be a dragon.

PERSON -- (pages through clipboard) Dragon, dragon, dragon. No, 
I don't see any dragons.

SNAKE -- Of course you don't see any dragons! There's only one
dragon, and that's me!

PERSON -- But you're not a dragon. You're a snake.

SNAKE -- Oooo! If I had hands, I'd smack you!

PERSON -- Well, if you can't be nice. I'm leaving. (turns)

SNAKE -- Wait! Please!

PERSON -- (turns) Listen, I'm very busy. We have a lot of
animals to give names to.

SNAKE -- (looks both ways) Listen, I'll tell you a secret.

PERSON -- What's a secret?

SNAKE -- That's something that I know that you don't know.

PERSON -- Well, there's lots of things that I don't know. I
haven't even seen all the animals yet.

SNAKE -- (shouts) Will you just listen?!

PERSON -- You don't have to shout. I'm standing right here.

SNAKE -- I'm sorry. But this is important. See, (looks both
ways) some day I'm going to be a dragon.

PERSON -- That's no secret. You already told me that.

SNAKE -- (to audience) Oooo! I wish I had hands. Whack! Whack!
Whack! (smiles to Person) Adam(Eve), baby, the secret I'm trying
to tell you is that BEFORE I become a dragon, the Lord will
become a man.

PERSON -- The Lord will become a man? A man just like me(him)?

SNAKE -- Exactly.

PERSON -- No kidding!

SNAKE -- No kidding! And when he does "I" will bite his heel. Do
you know what that means?

PERSON -- Yeah, that explains everything.

SNAKE -- It does? (looks in amazement at audience)

PERSON -- Yes, that explains why the Lord made you an animal
that would crawl in the dirt.

SNAKE -- Why? So I could bite him in the heel?

PERSON -- No. So when the Lord smashes your head, you'll be 
accustomed to eating dirt. (exits)

SNAKE -- (growls at audience, exiting) Adam(Eve), baby, can I
interest you in an apple?!
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