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SHADRACH 6'4m1f Shadrach, Meshach & what's his name

QUEEN --  (enters, crosses to DC, stands facing audience, 
          looking up and down)

          You are the wisest of all, my king.

KING ---  (enters, reading comic book, sits on throne CC)

          Uh, what's that my queen?

QUEEN --  I can hear them now....

KING ---  Hear what, my dear? I don't hear anything.

QUEEN --  I was just speculating. Your subjects will say how 
          great and wise King Nebuchadnezzar is for building 
          that 90 foot idol of gold. 

KING ---  Uh huh...

QUEEN --  And the best touch of all is making it look just like
          me.

KING ---  Yes, my dear.

QUEEN --  It's such fun watching them rub their noses in the dirt
          as they bow down to me, er, the idol.

KING ---  It's almost time for the music, love. I just love the
          music.

          (cue music)

          Ah, there it is now.  I just love the music.

QUEEN --  Ha, ha, that's the signal for them to bow down. I love
          it when they grovel.

          (point to back of audience, screams)

          What's this!?

KING ---  Are you distressed, my queen?

          (walks toward Q)

QUEEN --  (points to back of audience) There! Those three Jews 
          are not bowing! Throw them into the firey furnace!

KING ---  Isn't that a little harsh, my dear? (looks)
           
          Oh, dear! That's Shadrach, Meshach and ah...  
          Shadrach, Meshach and ah...

QUEEN --  Abednego.  Yes.  YOUR provincial administrators.

KING ---  (Scratches his head on the way back to his throne)

          I don't remember making them provincial administrators, 
          my queen.

          (resumes his reading)

QUEEN --  I thought I could cut back on staff salaries by hiring
          Jews.  But it looks like they're getting too big 
          for their breeches.

          You there!  (points)

          (Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego stand in audience, 
          carrying brief cases, looking like three stooges)

SHADRACH- Are you talking to us?

QUEEN --  Yes, you!  The king wants to see you!

KING ---  I do?

QUEEN --  Yes, you do. You're going to give them a fair hearing
          and then you're going to throw them into the firey 
          furnace!

          (S, M, & A work their way to stage, single file)

SHADRACH- I wonder what the king wants with us.

MESHACH - Probably just wants to tell us what a good job we're
          doing.

ABEDNEGO- Maybe we should ask for a raise.

SHADRACH- I'd like a corner office.

MESHACH - How about a limo?

ABEDNEGO- I want video games in the lunchroom.

SHADRACH- (Stops suddenly, the others crash into him, he breaks
          ranks, drags his brief case across their heads)

          Listen, you guys, I'll do the negotiating for the perks.

          (King clears his throat.  S, M, and A notice the king,
          scramble to bow with big arm motions)

SHADRACH- Your majesty 

MESHACH - Your eminence.

ABEDNEGO- (elbows Meshach) You're on my toe!

KING ---  Aaah, Shadrach, Meshach and ah... Shadrach, Meshach and

QUEEN --  Abednego.

KING ---  Oh, yes, well, ah, the, ah, reason, ah, I called you here
          was to ah, well...

QUEEN --  ...You were seen, standing while you should have been
          bowing to the golden idol.  That is a sin against the
          great King Nebuchadnezzar.

          (S,M, & A assume the SEE NO EVIL, HEAR NO EVIL,
          SPEAK NO EVIL monkeys look-alike)

          What are you doing?!

SHADRACH- This is our way of showing that we are blameless.
          (eyes covered) See no evil.

MESHACH - (ears covered) Hear no evil.

ABEDNEGO- (mouth covered) Mmmm mm mmmmmm.

QUEEN --  (Slaps S, then M, but A kneels before the King) 

ABEDNEGO- Have mercy, oh great King Neba... King Neba....

QUEEN --  Nebuchadnezzar, you knit wit.

ABEDNEGO- Nebuchadnezzar, you knit wit.

SHADRACH (smacks A with his brief case)

          What Mr. Abednego is trying to say, your grace, is that
          we mean no disrespect to your golden idol.  But our God
          has given us strict orders not to bow to other Gods.

QUEEN --  Are you sure we can't get your cooperation.... 
          (Offers $5 to Meshach) somehow?

MESHACH - Well, five bucks is five bucks.

SHADRACH- (smacks M with his brief case)

          What Mr Meshach is trying to say is that it's not 
          negotiable.

MESHACH - Sorry, it's not negotiable.

QUEEN --  (seductively slides finger over Abednego's ear)

          Are you sure I can't change your mind?

ABEDNEGO- Wull, maybe just one little curtsy wouldn't hurt....

SHADRACH- (smacks M with his brief case)

          What Mr Abednego is trying to say is that his mind
          is made up.

ABEDNEGO- Sorry, my mind is made up.

QUEEN --  Then it's off to the firey furnace. Right King?

          (points to stage left)

KING ---  Ah, right, ah, the firey furnace... I guess.

          (resumes reading as S, M, & A exit left in lock step)

MESHACH - What about the limo?

ABEDNEGO- I wanted video games.

SHADRACH- I guess this means no corner office.

QUEEN --  (looks at exit) Nebuchadnezzar.

KING ---  Yes, my queen.

QUEEN --  Didn't you send THREE men into the firey furnace?

KING ---  (counting on his fingers)

          Ah, let's see. Shadrach, Meshach, and uh...     Shadrach,
          Meshach, and uh...

QUEEN --  Abednego. (impatiently)

KING ---  Yes, that's three. (stands, looks)

QUEEN --  Well, look.

          (points to exit)

          There are 4 of them in there!  One of them looks like
          an...

KING ---  ... an ANGEL. Yes, love. (resumes reading)

QUEEN --  But ... but they're not burning... they're just walking
          around on the hot floor of the furnace!  Look, the
          two guards outside the furnace have collapsed of heat
          prostration, but those Jews are walking around in the
          flames!

KING ---  Walking around. Yes, dear. Maybe we should let them 
          out now.

          (S, M, and A enter in lock step, wearing sun glasses, 
          carrying weiny roast sticks with hotdogs and marshmallows, 
          they deliver their lines, exit, leaving queen and king 
          dumbfounded)

SHADRACH- Would you like another hotdog Meshach?

MESHACH - No, thanks, Shadrach, I'm having a marshmallow.

ABEDNEGO- I just love a cozey fire don't you?


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