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POTIPHAR 5'1m3f Joseph and Potiphar's wife: flee from sin

DEMON -- (enters talking on cell phone) Yeah, this is Demon 007
reporting for duty as ordered.

ANGEL -- (enters opposite talking on cell phone) Yeah, hi, this
is Angel 355. I just arrived in Egypt as ordered.

DEMON -- Hey, pal, this is my territory, here!

ANGEL -- Sorry to disappoint you, "PAL", but the universe
belongs to GOD. You have no claim on God's people here in Egypt.

DEMON -- Sorry to disappoint you, angel baby, but there aren't
any people of God in Egypt.

ANGEL -- Nice try. What about him? (points to exit)

DEMON -- Oh, you mean the new kid who just arrived from Canaan?

ANGEL -- His name is Joseph. And you know very well that he's a
man of God.

DEMON -- He ain't no man. He's just a kid. And if he's a man of
God, where was God when his brothers kidnapped him and sold him
into slavery?

ANGEL -- Did it ever occur to you that this is exactly where God
wants Joseph right now?

DEMON -- You're just saying that because you angels were
powerless to keep the kid in Canaan.

ANGEL -- We'll see.

MRS -- (enters wearing ornate tunic, shouts, sorting through
cloth swatches) Bring in the new slave.

JOSEPH -- (enters wearing tunic and cape, carrying wooden box)
You wanted to see me, Mrs Potiphar?

MRS -- Yes. (looks up from swatches) Well! Look what we have
here!

JOSEPH -- Excuse me?

MRS -- My husband's taste in slaves is definitely improving!

JOSEPH -- I don't understand.

MRS -- (approaches) You will.... soon.

(Joseph and Mrs freeze whenever Demon and Angel speak)

ANGEL -- YOU put her up to this, didn't you, Demon!

DEMON -- I have no idea what you could be referring to.

ANGEL -- Yes, you do. You're trying to thwart the Lord's purpose
by getting Joseph involved with adultery.

DEMON -- Adultery?! Is that what's going to happen?! I had no
idea! (laughs fiendishly, then waves finger broadly at Mrs)

MRS -- This household has gone through a dozen slaves in the
past year and everyone of them was older than dirt. But you....
(strokes finger along Joseph's jaw) You are really... young and
fresh and delicious.

JOSEPH -- If you don't have anything for me to do, I have this
box of.... things to put away....

MRS -- What's you're hurry, young fella!

JOSEPH -- Joseph.

MRS -- Excuse me?

JOSEPH -- My name is Joseph.

MRS -- Well, Joseph, it seems to me, you have all day to put
those things away. My husband won't be home for hours....

DEMON -- My strategy is working perfectly! He's like putty in
her hands.

ANGEL -- It won't work, you know.

DEMON -- Of course it will work. It ALWAYS works. He's a boy!
And you know what boys like, don't you?

ANGEL -- He's no ordinary boy! He happens to be his father's
favorite son. Jacob has been training Joseph for leadership 
since he was a baby.

MRS -- We have plenty of time to do whatever we want. And do you
know what I want?

JOSEPH -- What would that be?

MRS -- You.

JOSEPH -- Me?

MRS -- Yes. I want you.

ANGEL -- Now I want you to see how all his training in the fear
of the Lord will pay off.

DEMON -- Potiphar's wife has done this with dozens of men. She's
an expert at seduction. There's no way Joseph will be able to
resist.

JOSEPH -- Me? You want me?

MRS -- Yes.

JOSEPH -- What do you want with me?

MRS -- I think we'll play it by ear.

JOSEPH -- If you're thinking what I think you're thinking, that
would be adultery.

MRS -- You make it sound like a BAD thing.

DEMON -- You watch! The kid has a natural tendency to fight. And
Potiphar's wife is very skillful at attacking the tendency to
fight. Watch.

JOSEPH -- (turns away) You belong to Potiphar, not to me.

DEMON -- What did I tell you.

JOSEPH -- Potiphar has entrusted me with all his possessions. I
take that trust seriously. I would never misuse the things he
entrusts to my care!

DEMON -- The kid is no match for a fight with the likes of an
experienced adultress.

MRS -- (circles behind Joseph, running a finger seductively
along his jaw) I don't see how anyone could construe pleasing me
as MISUSING me. Could you? (grabs Joseph's cape)

DEMON -- Now, how is any red-blooded boy going to resist such
a temptation?

ANGEL -- Well, the Lord's instruction is not to RESIST, but to 
FLEE temptation!

JOSEPH -- I'm sorry, I can't stay! (exits)

MRS -- (rips Joseph's cape off, looks longingly at cape) Funny! 
It always worked before. (exits)

DEMON -- (exiting) Funny it always worked before.

ANGEL -- (follows) You've never dealt with someone who was
thoroughly trained in the ways of the Lord before.

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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