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MOSES2   6'2m0f Moses offers to sacrifice himself for the people

GOD -- (enters strolling, arms behind back, crosses to front lip
of stage, looks over edge as he strolls)

ANGEL -- (shouts from offstage) Lord! Lord! Where are you?

GOD -- (looking over edge of stage) I'm here.

ANGEL -- (shouts from offstage) Where?

GOD -- Here on earth. I'm standing on top of Mount Sinai.

ANGEL -- (enters carrying small pink slip of paper) Oh, there 
you are. There's a prayer request for you. (offers slip)

GOD -- (ignores offer, looking down) I know.

ANGEL -- It's from Moses.

GOD -- I know.

ANGEL -- How do you know?

GOD -- (reluctantly lifts gaze to scowl at Angel, resumes
looking over edge of stage)

ANGEL -- Oh, yes, of course. You're God. You know everything.
What are you looking at? (cranes neck to look over edge) Eeeooo.
Look at all that blood! Must be close to a thousand bodies down
there!

GOD -- Three thousand.

ANGEL -- Those guys with the swords are in big trouble, aren't
they?

GOD -- No.

ANGEL -- (not listening) What are you going to do to them?
Strike them with lightning?

GOD -- No.

ANGEL -- Hale stones.

GOD -- No.

ANGEL -- Open up the ground and swallow them.

GOD -- No.

ANGEL -- Well, they're in the desert. You can't drown them in
the Red Sea. What are you going to do to them?

GOD -- Nothing.

ANGEL -- Nothing?! You're going to stand by and let them kill a
thousand people...

GOD -- Three thousand.

ANGEL -- Like I said, you're going to let them kill three
thousand people and get away with it?!

GOD -- It was my idea.

ANGEL -- Hacking three thousand people to death with swords was
YOUR idea?

GOD -- Yes.

ANGEL -- Why?

GOD -- Those three thousand people donated their gold jewelry to
make an idol to worship.

ANGEL -- An idol. Oh, you mean that golden calf down there?
(points down)

GOD -- Yes.

ANGEL -- Hey, that guy is hacking the golden calf to pieces!

GOD -- THAT GUY is Moses. He's the leader of the people. He
knows that I am a jealous God. He knows that I will not allow my
people to worship other Gods.

ANGEL -- Killing three thousand people is a little harsh, don't
you think?

GOD -- Actually, if justice was served, I should kill them all.

ANGEL -- Kill them all?! There must be half a million
people down there.

GOD -- Actually, there's over two million people down there,
including women and children.

ANGEL -- And you would kill them all?

GOD -- They were all worshipping the idol. They deserve death.

ANGEL -- (backs away) Listen, if you're in a bad mood... I'll
just... (points down) Hey, that Moses guy is climbing up toward
us. You going to strike him dead?

GOD -- No.

ANGEL -- Well, everybody knows this is your sacred mountain.

GOD -- Moses has permission to visit me here.

ANGEL -- Pretty gutsy guy, considering the mood your in.

GOD -- Actually, he IS a gutsy guy. He's a man after my own
heart. He's coming up here to offer me his life.

ANGEL -- His life. You mean, he WANTS you to kill him?

GOD -- Yes, he knows I am considering killing his people and
he's coming up here to offer his life for theirs.

ANGEL -- Pretty brave guy.

GOD -- Yes, he is.

ANGEL -- You going to take him up on his offer?

GOD -- No. A man's life will only pay for the sins of one man.

ANGEL -- What about animal sacrifices? Oh. Nevermind. It would
take two million sheep to pay for the sins of two million
people. And I don't see two million sheep down there.

GOD -- Even if they had two million sheep, animal sacrifices
were never designed to pay for man's sins. They're designed to
show a need for the shedding of blood for sins.

ANGEL -- Say, what if an angel offered to give his life. Would that
be enough? (backs away) Not that I'm volunteering or anything.

GOD -- Don't worry. You're in no danger.

ANGEL -- You're sure?

GOD -- (reluctantly lifts gaze to scowl at Angel, resumes
looking over edge of stage)

ANGEL -- Of course you're sure. You're God. Silly me. But what
if you could find an angel to volunteer to die for them
(points), wouldn't that be enough?

GOD -- No.

ANGEL -- How about two million angels?

GOD -- I created angels to be messengers. They are of no value
for sacrifice.

ANGEL -- What about an archangel?

GOD -- No.

ANGEL -- Why not?

GOD -- Angels and archangels are created beings. Nothing in all
creation can atone for the sins of the people.

ANGEL -- Nothing?

GOD -- Nothing.

ANGEL -- Oh, wow. Then those poor people down there (points) are
toast.

GOD -- They would be, if I didn't provide a sacrifice for them.

ANGEL -- What sacrifice? You've already eliminated animal
sacrifices, human sacrifices and angel sacrifices! What
sacrifice is left?

GOD -- Me.

ANGEL -- (laughs) That's very funny. The creator of the universe
is going to sacrifice himself for those ingrateful sinners.
(laughs, examines God's face, stops laughing) You're not
kidding.

GOD -- No, I'm not kidding.

ANGEL -- Listen, Lord. I know that you are the all-knowing,
all-powerful creator of the universe. But are you out of your
mind? Why would you do such a thing?

GOD -- It's a choice I had to make before I created people with
free will.

ANGEL -- Free will.

GOD -- Yes, I knew that if I gave them a free will, sooner or
later they'd choose to sin. That means I'd end up either killing
them all or dying in their place.

ANGEL -- You knew that BEFORE you created them?

GOD -- Yes.

ANGEL -- And you created them anyway?

GOD -- Yes.

ANGEL -- (exiting) Oh, wow! That's just too deep for me to
fathom.

GOD -- (exiting opposite) There are some things that only I
can understand.
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