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JERICHO  5'1m*f RT: Joshua and the battle of Jericho

(RT == Readers' Theater: requires little or no memorization,
little or no rehearsal. An indefinite number of reporters are
salted throughout the audience)

JOSHUA -- (enters wearing tunic and sandals with sword in belt,
crosses to podium) Good morning. My name is Joshua Son of Nun. I
am the commander of the army of Israel. The reason I called this
press conference is to announce our over all strategy for
conquering the promised land of Canaan. Beginning tomorrow
morning, I will lead the army of Israel in a battle plan that
will lead to the downfall of the City of Jericho. After we have
conquered Jericho, we will conquer the city of Ai. These are
just the beginnings of a series of battles for the conquest of
the entire land of Canaan that will last for several years. But
we are confident in our ultimate victory.

REPORTER -- Jericho is the most heavily fortified city in the
land of Canaan. Noone has ever conquered this city. How many
months or years do you anticipate it will take to defeat them?

JOSHUA -- Seven days.

REPORTER -- Commander Joshua, Jericho is surrounded by two walls
that are both twelve feet thick with a space of at least twelve
feet between the walls. You can't get over them and you can't
possibly break through them. How can you possibly predict that
the battle will only last one week?

JOSHUA -- I didn't predict that. The Lord God of Israel
predicted that.

REPORTER -- Do you have a prophet among you who speaks for the
Lord God of Israel?

JOSHUA -- The Lord God of Israel himself just spoke to me a few
moments ago.

REPORTER -- Do you expect us to believe that the creator of the
universe appeared to you in person?!

JOSHUA -- That's exactly what I'm asking you to believe.

REPORTER -- How do you know it was the Lord God himself and not
some impersonator?

JOSHUA -- He gave me the same sign he gave to Moses at the
burning bush. He told me that the ground he appeared on was
sacred and that I must remove my sandals in his presence.

REPORTER -- So, it was God himself that gave you the strategy
for conquering Jericho?

JOSHUA -- Yes. He called himself the commander of the Lord's
Army.

REPORTER -- And this COMMANDER OF THE LORD'S ARMY promised you
victory in exactly seven days?

JOSHUA -- That is correct.

REPORTER -- Can you share the strategy with us without risking a
security breach?

JOSHUA -- Yes. He promised that if we follow His instructions to
the letter, we cannot fail.

REPORTER -- So, will your strategy be to break through the walls
or to climb over the walls?

JOSHUA -- Neither.

REPORTER -- Commander Joshua, there are only two ways to conquer
a city as heavily fortified as Jericho. If you don't break
through the walls or climb over them, what strategy is left?

JOSHUA -- Our army will parade around the city once per day for
six days and then on the seventh day, we will parade around the
city seven times.

REPORTER -- Commander Joshua, are you aware that you still
haven't told us how your army is going to breech the walls of
Jericho?

JOSHUA -- As a matter of fact, breeching the walls of Jericho is
not my job.

REPORTER -- Whose job is it?

JOSHUA -- After my army has paraded around the city seven times
on the seventh day, the Lord God himself will cause the walls to
collapse. My army will merely walk over the rubble right into
the city.

REPORTER -- Is anybody besides me a little skeptical about this
plan?

JOSHUA -- I personally witnessed ten horrendous plagues in Egypt
and the parting of the Red Sea and the drowning of the entire
Egyptian army and the parting of the Jordan river just last
week. In my mind the Lord God of Israel has more than earned my
confidence.

REPORTER -- But why choose as your first battle the most heavily
fortified city in Canaan?

JOSHUA -- For the same reason as the strategy for breeching the
walls: to show everyone -- Jew and gentile alike -- that God is
in charge of this invasion of Canaan.

REPORTER -- Wait a minute. I'm just looking at my notes of your
strategy. According to my notes, you said that your army would
march around the city for seven days in a row.

JOSHUA -- That's correct.

REPORTER -- But that means that your army will be on maneuvers
during the sabbath. It's against Jewish law to do ANY work on
the sabbath. Aren't you incurring God's wrath by ordering your
army to work on the sabbath?

JOSHUA -- If it was I who gave the orders to work on the
sabbath, I would deserve death. If it was merely an angel of the
Lord who ordered me to have my men do work on the sabbath, I
would have refused. But it was the Lord of the Sabbath himself
who ordered us to do work on the sabbath in order to show
everyone that this victory and all that follow are from the
Lord.

REPORTER -- But you will not just be doing work on the sabbath,
you will be killing people on the sabbath!

JOSHUA -- That's true. And that's the most clever part of God's
strategy! After seven days of parading around the city, tens of
thousands of soldiers from Jericho will be assembled on top of
the walls to repel the coming attack. Then, when God causes the
walls to collapse, more soldiers will die from the fall of the
walls and the ensuing fires than from the swords of my army.
After the battle of Jericho, everyone will know that this
victory is from the Lord!

REPORTER -- Thank you, Commander Joshua.

JOSHUA -- (exits)

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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