FISHGATE 3'2m0f What are all those gates in the city wall for?

FRED -- (Enters, opens Bible) The book of Nehemiah, beginning at 
chapter three. Eliashib the high priest and his fellow priests 
went to work and rebuilt the Sheep Gate. They dedicated it and 
set its doors in place, building as far as the Tower of the 
Hundred, which they dedicated, and as far as the Tower of 
Hananel.  The men of Jericho built the adjoining section, and 
Zaccur son of Imri built next to them. The Fish Gate was rebuilt 
by the sons of Hassenaah. They laid its beams and put its doors 
and bolts and bars in place...

ED ---- (stands in front row) ...Excuse me.

FRED -- Would you mind? I'm reading here.

ED ---- This is important.

FRED -- What could be more important than reading the Bible?

ED ---- I think you have a problem there.

FRED -- Where? What are you talking about?

ED ---- The fish gate.

FRED -- The fish gate? What about the fish gate?

ED ---- I think your translation must be incorrect. It can't be 
a FISH gate. (walks up on stage, looks over Fred's shoulder) 

FRED -- Well, let's see...

(pages turning) 

I'll look it up in this Hebrew dictionary... FILL... FIND... 
FISH. Here it is. FISH. The hebrew word is DAWGAW used in 
Nehemiah 3:3. See? DAWGAW... FISH. I hate to disagree with you,
but the translation is correct. Now if you'll excuse me...
Let's see... Nehemiah 3:4

Meremoth son of Uriah, the son of Hakkoz, repaired the next 

ED ---- (clears throat)

FRED -- What is it now?

ED ---- It can't be a FISH gate.

FRED -- I thought we settled that.

ED ---- Back up a little. What is the horse gate?

FRED -- That's the gate for people riding horses. So?

ED ---- What is the sheep gate?

FRED -- The sheep gate? What does that have to do...

ED ---- What is the sheep gate?

FRED -- Alright... if someone wants to bring a herd of sheep 
into Jerusalem, they bring them in through the sheep gate.

ED ---- Have you ever seen large herds of fish coming in through 
the fish gate?

FRED -- Well, no, but...

ED ---- How about small herds of fish?

FRED -- Well, no... but...

ED ---- How far away is the Mediterranean Sea?

FRED -- About 50 miles. So?

ED ---- Do you know many fish that can walk 50 miles overland 
and enter through the fish gate?

FRED -- Well, no, but...

ED ---- Even if they could walk that far, who would drive the 
herd? Have you ever seen a shepherd's crook small enough for a 
fish? (imitates a lasso) Ehah! Get along there little fish!

FRED -- Oh, brother.

ED ---- (strokes chin) On the other hand, maybe FISH is the name 
of a tribe of Israel. (reaches over Fred's shoulder, pages 
through Hebrew dictionary)

FRED -- I beg your pardon?

ED ---- Well, some of gates of the city were named after some of 
the tribes of Israel. 

FRED -- Oh, you mean, like the gate of Benjamin...

ED ---- ...Yes, and the gate of Ephraim. So, who are the 
descendants of the tribe of FISH? Do you know any Israelites 
named BASS or PIKE or STURGEON? 

FRED -- (slams book closed, narrowly missing Ed's hand)

ED ---- You don't have to get nasty about it. I was just 
speculating about the FISH gate.

FRED -- Maybe the fish gate spans a river or stream that runs 
through the city. Maybe the bars in the fish gate let the fish 
swim through, but keep LOW LIFES out! 

ED ---- No, that can't be right.

FRED -- (exiting) I wish I had a fish gate here right now!

ED ---- (strokes his chin, unaware Fred has left) Let's see. The 
valley gate leads to the valley and the fountain gate leads to 
the fountain. Maybe the fish gate leads to the fish. Say, is the 
fish gate facing the Meditara...(turns, looks for Fred, grins 
sheepishly, sits down) Nevermind.

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