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DESIGN2  6'2m?f Creation, justice, salvation, cults

JESUS -- (enters) Okay, let's see, where were we. Oh, yes, day
six. According to the plan, it's time to create the land
animals. (shouts) Let the land produce living creatures
according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along
the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind. (to
self) Hey, that's nice! We have wild animals according to their
kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the
creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds.
Yeah. That's good.

ANGEL -- (follows hurriedly reading computer printout) Oh, oh,
this is not good.

JESUS -- (faces audience, raises hands, shouts) Let us make man
in our image....

ANGEL -- No! Wait!

JESUS -- Do you mind? I'm right in the middle of creation here.

ANGEL -- No, please. Wait!

JESUS -- I'm on a rather tight schedule here. The plans call for
everything to be done in six days...

ANGEL -- ...I know. I've read the plans, Jesus, but....

JESUS -- But what?

ANGEL -- It's about those special animals you were going to
create. The animals that were going to be designed in your
own image.

JESUS -- ...The human beings?

ANGEL -- Yes, the human beings. The computer predicts that
there's a 99.99 percent chance that the human beings will not
do as they're told.

JESUS -- Yes, I'm aware....

ANGEL -- According to the computer model, some of the humans
will make bad decisions, some of them will be self-indulgent,
and some of them will even deliberately disobey, for a
total of 99.99 percent!

JESUS -- Actually, the percentage will be one hundred percent.

ANGEL -- You mean you knew about this?!

JESUS -- Is that a trick question?

ANGEL -- Oh, ah, of course you knew about this! You're God. You
know everything.

JESUS -- Yes. I do.

ANGEL -- But I don't see any design changes in the print out.
(points)

JESUS -- No.

ANGEL -- Well, surely, you're not going to go ahead and create
these... these...

JESUS -- Humans. Their called humans. They're made in my image.

ANGEL -- Well, yes, but if you go ahead and create them with a
free will, they'll... they'll reject you!

JESUS -- Yes.

ANGEL -- Well, then you have to remove their free will.

JESUS -- If I create them without a free will, they won't be
made in my image.

ANGEL -- I don't understand.

JESUS -- I designed human beings with a free will so that they
have the capacity to love me. If I remove their free will,
they'll be robots, without the capacity to love.

ANGEL -- Yes, but that's my point! According to the computer,
hardly any of them...

JESUS -- ...None of them...

ANGEL -- ...None of them will choose to love you.

JESUS -- Yes, that's right.

ANGEL -- Do you know what that means?!

JESUS -- (raises finger)

ANGEL -- Yes, of course, you know what that means. The wages of
sin is....

JESUS -- Death.

ANGEL -- You're going to create them and then let them die?

JESUS -- No. My design includes a provision for sin.

ANGEL -- It does?

JESUS -- Yes.

ANGEL -- What provision have you made for sin?

JESUS -- It's based on a technicality.

ANGEL -- What technicality?

JESUS -- Technically the human being doesn't have to die for his
own sins.

ANGEL -- (scans printout) So, you're going to offer the humans 
the option of animal sacrifices for their sins?

JESUS -- Yes, I will but animal sacrifices are not intended 
to pay for their sins.

ANGEL -- They're not?

JESUS -- No. The blood of animals is a symbol that sins must be 
paid for by the shedding of blood. Animal sacrifices aren't 
enough to atone for the sins of humans because animals don't 
have a free will.

ANGEL -- But if only creatures with a free will can pay for 
sins, that just leaves the humans themselves... and ANGELS! I... 
I'm sorry I bothered you... (turns) I... I should be getting 
back to work...

JESUS -- You don't have to worry.

ANGEL -- (turns) I don't?

JESUS -- No. I created angels to be messengers. There's no 
provision in my plan to sacrifice angels.

ANGEL -- (fans self) Well, that's a relief! 

JESUS -- But, if you'd like to volunteer...

ANGEL -- (turns) I... I should be getting back to work... 
(turns) Oh, wait a minute! I'm just a created being.

JESUS -- So?

ANGEL -- So, the death of one created being would only pay for
the sins of one created being. Your plans call for a total of...
(reads) six billion human beings. It would take six billion
angels to pay for their sins. I don't think we've got six
billion angels.

JESUS -- Very good. But what if the archangel Michael 
volunteered to give his life?

ANGEL -- Oh, that's easy. Michael is just a created being too.
At the very most, his death would pay for the sins of one
person.

JESUS -- Very good. How about if Satan or one of his spirit 
brothers volunteered to shed his blood for the sins of man?

ANGEL -- Oh, that's not very likely. But even if he did, Satan 
is just a created being too. In fact, he's just a disobedient 
angel. I doubt that his death would pay for even one created 
being.

JESUS -- Very good.

ANGEL -- Well, then, who's going to die for the sins of
humanity? There's noone left!

JESUS -- Why don't you ask your computer?

ANGEL -- (exiting) Oh, yeah. The computer.

JESUS -- (faces audience, raises hands, shouts) Let us make man
in our image.... (waves hand) male and female they are created.
Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue
it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and
over every living creature that moves on the ground.

ANGEL -- (reenters shouting) I've got it! The computer says....
(stops, reads) Oh, wait a minute! This can't be right!

JESUS -- So, who will die for the sins of all these people?

ANGEL -- According to the computer, there's only one person
who's death is adequate for the sins of more than one created
being.

JESUS -- And what person is that?

ANGEL -- (points to printout) The person who created them.

JESUS -- Very good! (motions broadly to audience) Well, I'm
finished with the work of creation. (smiles at audience) It is
VERY good. (exits)

ANGEL -- (follows) You're not REALLY going to die for those
ingrateful people, are you, Jesus?

JESUS -- That's the plan!

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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