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ARAUNAH  5'2m0f King David buys the land for the temple

(David and Araunah enter simultaneous from opposite exits 
backward, looking up as if retreating, collide C)

ARAUNAH - (startled, turns bows low) Uuuh! Please! I beg 
you. Don't kill me!

DAVID --- Kill you? Why would I kill you?

ARAUNAH - You're the angel of death, aren't you?

DAVID --- Why, no. I just...

ARAUNAH - Are you sure you're not the angel of death?

DAVID --- If I was the angel of death, you'd be dead now, right?

ARAUNAH - Oh, yeah, right. (stands) Then take a hike, pal, 
you're on private property! (turns away)

DAVID --- Actually, your property is why I came here.

ARAUNAH - (turns back) Oh. So, you want to rent my threshing 
floor, do you?

DAVID --- Well, actually, I wanted to...

ARAUNAH - The rent is two shekels per day, four day minimum. 
Cash in advance. You got the money, pal? (holds out hand)

DAVID --- Well, yes, I have money with me. But, I really was not
interested in renting...

ARAUNAH - (turns away) Then, take a hike, pal, I'm a very busy 
man.

DAVID --- Actually, I wanted to BUY your threshing floor.

ARAUNAH - (turns) Oh, well, in that case, we're talking a lot of 
money, pal. This is prime real estate here, you know.

DAVID --- I know.

ARAUNAH - This land has the best view in Jerusalem.

DAVID --- I know.

ARAUNAH - This land is the highest point in Jerusalem, you know.

DAVID --- I know. That's why I want to buy it from you.

ARAUNAH - You're not a looky-loo, are you, pal? I'm mean, I'm a 
very busy man. I've got lots of people making offers to buy this 
land.

DAVID --- Probably a lot fewer people than there were three days 
ago.

ARAUNAH - (looks around cautiously, hiding in David's shadow) 
You're talking about the angel of death, aren't you?

DAVID --- Yes.

ARAUNAH - Listen, pal, if you think you can drive down the price 
of this property just because 70,000 people died in the last 
three days, think again. Those guys who died were not among 
the many who made generous offers on this prime real estate.

DAVID --- Those deaths were my fault.

ARAUNAH - What, you mean you bumped off 70,000 people just to 
drive down the price on my property?!

DAVID --- That's not what I meant.

ARAUNAH - Just who do you think you are, pal?

DAVID --- I'm King David. King of Israel.

ARAUNAH - Wo! (bows low) Oh, mighty king. Please don't 
kill me. I had no idea who I was dealing with. You want my 
property? Take it! It's yours. Please don't kill me.

DAVID --- I'm not going to kill you. And I have no intention of 
taking your property. I want to buy it from you. Please stand 
up.

ARAUNAH - Listen, I saw your friend, the angel of death. He 
kills people. If you don't mind I'll stay down here.

DAVID --- Look, the reason I'm trying to buy your property is to 
appease God. Please stand up so I can pay you for the property.

ARAUNAH - (stands cautiously, looking around) Listen, I don't 
want any trouble. I know how you and the Lord are buddies and 
all. Why don't I just GIVE you the threshing floor? And (backs 
away) I'll just be going.

DAVID --- I'm sorry. You don't understand. I need this land as a 
gift to the Lord. And I won't offer a gift to the Lord that 
costs me nothing.

ARAUNAH - Well, alright. (stops, approaches, cautiously) Listen, 
just so we understand each other. This deal is on the up and up, 
right?

DAVID --- Right.

ARAUNAH - I mean you're not going to pay me money and then, have 
your friend the angel of death strike me dead... (looks around)

DAVID --- No. Nothing like that.

ARAUNAH - (rubs hands together) So, how much were you willing to 
offer for this prime piece of real estate?

DAVID --- Six hundred shekels.

ARAUNAH - Six hundred shekels! That's a very generous offer.

DAVID --- Of gold.

ARAUNAH - (coughs) Gold! What, are you nuts! This is a threshing 
floor! (holds up hands) Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

DAVID --- I'm offering you a generous price because the Lord has 
been generous to me, by sparing my life.

ARAUNAH - You mean he killed them INSTEAD of you?

DAVID --- Unfortunately, yes. I forgot the great strength of the 
Lord, so against the Lord's will, I questioned the strength of 
my army. That's why the Lord sent the angel of death, to remind 
me of his great power. This threshing floor will be the site of 
the Lord's temple some day. I wanted the site to be on solid 
rock as a constant reminder of the Lord's great strength.

ARAUNAH - Alright, Your Majesty, you just bought yourself one 
rock solid threshing floor. (ushers David toward exit) Now, if 
you'll step this way, I'll sign over the deed and take your 
money.

DAVID --- Very good. (exits)

ARAUNAH - (stops, turns cautiously, exits backward) No funny 
business with the angel of death, right? Right, King, old buddy?

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