ADAMEVE  5'1m2f Adam and Eve are evicted from the Garden of Eden

SUE --- (backs across stage pulling long mike cord, looks 
around, shouts back to exit) This isn't the Garden of Eden. 
Frank, are you sure you set the right coordinates? (bumps into 
Adam) Excuse me.

ADAM -- (enters carrying suitcase, arguing with Eve) This is 
another nice kettle of fish you've gotten me into. (bumps into 
Sue, not noticing Sue at first) Excuse me.

EVE --- (enters carrying suitcase) Me?! (looks at Sue, walks 
around her inspecting her) 

ADAM -- Yes, you. You have been nothing but.... What are 
you doing? Pay attention to me when I'm yelling at you.

EVE --- Look! It's.... It's another... person. A human being, 
just like us.

ADAM -- (joins the circling) Well, what do you know?! It's a 
female person.

SUE --- Hi, listen I hate to bother you, but I was looking for 
the Garden of Eden.

EVE --- She even talks.

ADAM -- Hey, another female person. Not bad.

EVE --- Look, buster! You're married to me, remember?

ADAM -- Yes, and what choice did I have?

SUE --- Listen, I hate to interrupt your arguing, but could you 
point me to the Garden of Eden?

EVE --- (points back to exit) Oh, it's right over there. 

SUE --- Thanks. (pulls cord, backs up one more step)

ADAM -- Why did you want to go to the Garden of Eden?

SUE --- I wanted to get an exclusive interview with Adam and 

EVE --- That would be us.

ADAM -- But we don't live there anymore.

SUE --- So, you really are Adam and Eve?

EVE --- Do you see anybody else on earth?

ADAM -- Say, where did you come from? (feels ribs) I haven't 
lost anymore ribs.

SUE --- Oh, I came here from the twentieth century by way of a 
time travel machine. Listen, I'm a little confused. I was 
expecting you two to be.... you know.... naked.

ADAM -- Oh, that. You can blame the genious here for that.

EVE --- See, there you go again with the blaming.

SUE --- I hate to keep interrupting, but could you explain the 

EVE --- We were naked. Daah.

SUE --- I'm sorry, that may have seemed like a dumb question.

ADAM & EVE --- Yes.

SUE --- Well, I'm sorry. I thought we set the time machine back 
to the beginning, you know, before the.... the....

ADAM -- ....Before SHE messed every thing up.

EVE --- ME?! Look, buster, you were on lease holder on the 
property. Nobody held a gun to your head and made you break your 

SUE --- Can we establish that you have already eaten the 
forbidden fruit?

ADAM -- She made me do it.

EVE --- Oh, the big strong masculine man was overpowered by the 
puny little woman. Just like I held you down and forced it down 
your throat.

ADAM -- See what I'm dealing with here? She won't take any 
responsibility for what she did.

EVE --- It wasn't my fault. The snake made me think that if I 
ate the forbidden fruit, I would be like God. But just because I 
ate it, doesn't mean mister push-over here had to eat it too.

ADAM -- Push-over?! You know, I liked you better when you were 
just one of my ribs.

SUE --- If we could get back to the forbidden fruit for a 
moment. What exactly did the snake say to you to get you to eat 
the fruit?

EVE --- Well, he told me that the Lord wasn't telling the whole 
truth when he said we would die if we ate the fruit.

ADAM -- Yeah, in a manner of speaking, this was all the Lord's 

EVE --- There you go again, blaming everybody but yourself.

ADAM -- Well, the Lord warned us that if we ate the forbidden 
fruit, we would die. But Eve ate it and she didn't die, so, I 
thought, well, maybe the snake was right. So, I ate it too.

EVE --- Unfortunately, the snake was wrong. I mean, we didn't 
flop over dead, you know, as if the fruit was poison or 
something. But the Lord doesn't speak to us as much or care for 
us as much he used to. He was talking about spiritual death.

ADAM -- We were created to be completely dependent upon the Lord 
for everything. But when we disobeyed, the Lord allowed us to 
suffer the consequences of our actions.

SUE --- So, the Lord kicked you out of the Garden of Eden?

ADAM -- That's right. That means we don't get to eat from the 
tree of life anymore. We'll have to work for our food now.

EVE --- And I'll have to have babies the hard way.

ADAM -- No more ribs from here. (pats ribs)

EVE --- I'm not even looking forward to it.

ADAM -- You know, when I woke up after the Lord took one of my 
ribs, I said "Wo! What a Babe!" or something to that effect. But 
I guess beauty and brains don't go together. (exits with Eve)

EVE --- (exiting with Adam) Oh, look who's talking. You were 
deceived just as much as I was.

SUE --- (follows) Now, back to the studio.

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