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AARON    3'3m0f Aaron speaks to Pharaoh for Moses

(Trumpet fanfare)

PHARAOH -- (deep voice voiceover or audience member) Bring in 
the Hebrews.

(Trumpet fanfare)

AARON -- (Moses drags a reluctant, taller Aaron to DC) Moses! 
Let go! Moses! I told you, I don't want to talk to Pharaoh. Why 
can't you talk to Pharaoh yourself?

(Moses bows liberally as if Pharaoh is in the audience. He 
silently prompts Aaron to bow several times also. Finally, Moses 
pulls Aaron's head down, so he can talk in his ear. While Moses 
whispers in Aaron's ear, he alternately slaps Aaron's shoulder 
and points at Pharaoh. Moses even whispers in Aaron's ear while 
Aaron does all the talking in the skit.)

Right. Okay. So, hi, Pharaoh.

(Moses slaps Aaron's shoulder, whispers, Aaron bows slightly)

Okay, Okay. O great Pharaoh, king of Egypt. 

(Moses slaps Aaron, whispers)

Lower? (speaks in low voice) O great Pharaoh, king of Egypt. 

(Moses slaps Aaron, whispers, Aaron looks at Moses)

You said LOWER.

(Moses slaps Aaron, whispers, Aaron talks to Moses)

Why didn't you say so?

(Aaron and Moses bow in unison)

O, great Pharaoh, thank you for giving an audience to my brother 
Aaron and me.

(Moses slaps Aaron, whispers)

Moses and me. See, I'm Aaron and this is my little brother 
Moses.

(Moses slaps Aaron, whispers)

Don't call me little, you nitwit.

(Moses slaps Aaron, whispers, Aaron points at Moses)

He didn't mean to call me a nitwit...

(Moses slaps Aaron, whispers)

I didn't mean to call you a nitwit. 

(Moses points to Aaron's ear, whispers)

You have a lot of wax in your ear.

(Moses slaps Aaron, whispers)

No, he has wax in his ear.

(Moses slaps Aaron, whispers)

I have wax in my...

(Moses slaps Aaron, whispers, points at Pharaoh)

But I digress, your Honor... (slap) Majesty. This is my
brother Moses. I'm his interpreter. We have come to ask
you do something. (inadvertently steps on Moses' foot)

(Moses slaps Aaron, whispers, points at his foot)

Get of my foot.

(Moses slaps Aaron, whispers, pushes Aaron away)

You're standing on my toe.

(Moses slaps Aaron, whispers, pushes Aaron away)

You're not stepping on my toe, great Pharaoh.

(Moses slaps Aaron, whispers, points to Pharaoh)

The reason we're here is because the Lord wants you to let your 
people go. (to Moses) His people? (to Pharaoh) My people. You 
know, our people. His and mine. Let our people go.

PHARAOH -- You want to go? Where do you want to go?

(Moses whispers, points to Pharaoh)

AARON -- The Lord wants us to worship him in the desert.

PHARAOH -- How do you know that this is from the Lord?

AARON -- (to Moses) That's a good question, little brother, how 
do we know this is from the Lord? 

(Moses slaps Aaron, whispers, points up)

I already told you, the Lord spoke to me from a burning bush, 
you numskull.

(Moses slaps Aaron, whispers)

The Lord just spoke to him, you numskull.

(Moses slaps Aaron, whispers)

You're the numskull, not him!

(Moses slaps Aaron, whispers)

The Lord spoke to my brother Moses from a burning bush. No 
offense intended, O great Pharaoh.

(Turns to Moses)

PHARAOH -- If this is from the Lord, then you should be able to 
show me a miracle to prove it.

AARON -- (Moses whispers, motions to the floor) Okay, you asked 
for it, Pharaoh. Moses is going to turn this...

(throws down his hat)

...into a snake.

(Moses slaps Aaron, whispers. Aaron argues with Moses)

You said throw down your HAT. (whisper) I heard you say HAT. 
Don't blame me. (whisper) My staff? I don't have a staff. I 
don't even have a secretary. What am I, a big shot? I should 
have a staff? (whisper) Oh, my walking stick? Why didn't you say 
so?! 

(Hesitates. Moses slaps Aaron, whispers, points at floor)

I can't. I didn't bring it.

(Moses slaps Aaron, whispers)

It's a walking stick. I'm not going walking. (whisper) You 
didn't tell me you needed my walking stick. Why didn't you bring 
your own walking stick if you need a stupid walking stick?

(Moses slaps Aaron, whispers, points at Pharaoh, both bow)

We'll come back later, your eminence... (slap) highness... 
(slap) majesty, when we can bring a snake.... (slap) staff.

(They exit backward, bowing and arguing)

I distinctly heard you say HAT. (whisper) No, I not coming back 
here. You can start the plagues without me.


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