WORMS    4'1m*f RT: King Herod is eaten by worms

(RT == Readers' Theater: requires little or no memorization,
little or no rehearsal. An indefinite number of reporters are
salted throughout the audience.)

BLASTUS -- (enters wearing ornate tunic, headdress and sandals,
crosses to podium) Good Morning. My name is Blastus, I am prime
minister under King Herod Agrippa. The reason I called this
press conference is to give you some very sad news. King Herod
Agrippa is dead. He will be succeeded on the throne by his son,
Agrippa the second. I will give you the details of the burial
ceremony and the coronation of the new king when they become
available. Thank you. (turns)

REPORTER -- Can you tell us HOW King Herod died?

BLASTUS -- (turns) HOW he died?

REPORTER -- Yes. Can you tell us what he died from?

BLASTUS -- He died of... natural causes. Yes. That's it. He died
of natural causes. (turns) That's all for now.

REPORTER -- My sources tell me that King Herod was eaten by

BLASTUS -- (turns) You never heard that from me!

REPORTER -- No. But is it true?

BLASTUS -- I suppose it is.

REPORTER -- That doesn't sound like natural causes to me.

REPORTER -- Me either.

BLASTUS -- Worms are natural!

REPORTER -- So is lightning. But when someone is killed by
lightning noone claims he died of natural causes.

REPORTER -- Why are you being so evasive?

BLASTUS -- I'm not being evasive.

REPORTER -- Then why did you try to cover up the fact that the
king was eaten by worms?

BLASTUS -- I didn't try to cover it up. Alright. The king was
eaten by worms! Now are you happy?!

REPORTER -- This sounds remarkably like a judgement of God.

REPORTER -- Can you tell us what led up to King Herod's death?

BLASTUS -- What led up to it?

REPORTER -- Yes. What was the king doing that caused him to be
eaten by worms?

BLASTUS -- He was sitting on his throne addressing a meeting of
leaders from Tyre and Sidon. That's all.

REPORTER -- Why do I think there's more to it than that?

BLASTUS -- You don't believe me?

REPORTER -- Not for a moment.

REPORTER -- Herod called himself "the king of the Jews", but
he's done nothing but sell-out the Jews since he took the

REPORTER -- Didn't the Romans expand Herod's kingdom because he
sided with the Romans instead of his own subjects?

BLASTUS -- I wouldn't say he sided with the Romans. You make it
sound like he was a traitor.

REPORTER -- What else did Herod do just before the worms ate

BLASTUS -- Nothing.

REPORTER -- My sources tell me that the leaders of Tyre and
Sidon called Herod a god. But Herod didn't correct them. Is that

BLASTUS -- Well, it's true that Herod's subjects think a lot of
their king.

REPORTER -- Did they call him a god or not?

BLASTUS -- Yes. They did. So?

REPORTER -- So, Herod calls himself the king of the Jews. And
the Jews have only one God.

REPORTER -- Isn't the penalty for blasphemy death?

BLASTUS -- Well, yes, that is the penalty for blasphemy. But
that's just for the Jews. It's a well known fact that the Herod
family are Edomites, not Jews.

REPORTER -- They can't have it both ways. The Herods proclaimed
themselves to be the kings of the Jews. God won't let them reap
the advantages without accepting the obligations.

BLASTUS -- King Herod is sovereign! He is obligated to nobody.

REPORTER -- Not anymore! He's dead.

BLASTUS -- (exiting) I don't have to stand here and take insults
from a bunch of reporters!

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
but all copies must contain this copyright statement.  email: