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TENANT   4'2m0f The parable of the tenant

AL ---- (enters, looks both ways, paces) Where is that 
contractor? It's so hard to get good help these days.

BILL -- (enters hurriedly) Hi, sorry I'm late. I was just 
meeting with nebula about a new tower he wants to build.

AL ---- Nebuchadnezzar? He lived thousands of years ago and 
hundreds of miles away. How could you...."

BILL -- Hey, these are all Bible stories. All you have to do is 
flip a few pages and boom, you're in Babylon. Anyway, my name is 
Builder. And you are....?

AL ---- Matthew, Matthew 21:33. (offers his hand)

BILL -- (shakes) Matthew 21:33? That's an unusual name.

AL ---- Yes, well, the Lord didn't give me a name. I thought 
LANDOWNER sounded a little snobby.

BILL -- Suit yourself, Matthew. What can I help you with?

AL ---- Okay, I need to put a wall around this vineyard (motions 
broadly with hands), then I'll need a wing dug (points) and 
a watchtower put up (points).

BILL -- (writes)...wine press and a watchtower...got it!

AL ---- Listen, I'm in kind of a hurry, the Lord only gave me 
one verse to complete all the work and rent out the vineyard to 
a farmer before I have to take a journey.

BILL -- No problem. I'll used undocumented aliens and lots of 
them. We'll have it all done in plenty of time for you to take a 
journey in the next verse.

AL ---- Undocumented aliens? Mr Builder, this work is for the 
Lord....

BILL -- No problem. We just won't mention the laborers. Say, 
maybe I can help you with the farmer too.

AL ---- The farmer.

BILL -- Yeah, I've done that.

AL ---- You're a contractor AND a farmer?

BILL -- Yeah, you know the farmer who cast the seed on the path 
so the birds could eat it up? (points to himself)

AL ---- That was you?

BILL -- Yes sir, I also built the house on the sand, so it could 
wash away in the storm.

AL ---- Yes, well, maybe I should get more than one bid to build 
my vineyard wall.

BILL -- Look, Matthew, five will get you ten, this parable needs 
bad guys for tenants.

AL ---- Well, yeah, but...

BILL -- Then, I'm your man. So, what kind of tenants do you 
need? Greedy?

AL ---- Well, yes, but...

BILL -- I am terrific at greedy. Remember the servant who 
mismanaged the boss's estate and then cut everybody's debt in 
half to make friends? (points to himself)

AL ---- That was you, too?

BILL -- Greed is my middle name. I'll pay the illegal aliens 
next to nothing to build your wall and walk out of here one 
verse later a rich man.

AL ---- Okay, suppose just for a second that you're the tenant. 
What do you do when I send my servants to bring home my share of 
your harvest?

BILL -- How many servants?

AL ---- How many?

BILL -- Yeah, in order to make the best impression about greed I 
have to know how many servants you're sending to carry home your 
share of the harvest.

AL ---- Let's say four.

BILL -- Okay, four. See, the trick is to do something nasty to 
each one, but not the same thing to any of them. It makes a 
better story. 

AL ---- Will you get on with this, please? The Lord only gave me 
six verses for the whole story....

BILL -- I know, I know, then the Lord wraps it all up in a 
single sentence that all the seminary students can mark with a 
yellow pen.

AL ---- Can you get on with this, please?

BILL -- Okay, okay. The servants. Let's see. The first one I 
beat up, I stone another, I kill the next one and I humiliate 
the last one and send him back to you with the message "I ain't 
paying no rent!"

AL ---- Alright, so I send four more.

BILL -- Same thing.

AL ---- You'd do the same thing to each of them again? That's 
not very creative.

BILL -- Look, you've got six verses to work with. What do you 
want from me?

AL ---- Alright, so now suppose I send my only son.

BILL -- Hey, nothing personal, but I've got to kill him.

AL ---- You'd kill my only son? 

BILL -- Of course.

AL ---- But, why?

BILL -- Two reasons: first the greed thing. See, a greedy guy, 
like me, sees that with your only heir out of the way, the 
vineyard is mine when you die. Pure logic.

AL ---- And the second reason?

BILL -- I don't have a lot of time for beating and torturing 
your son. See, as soon as I finish off your son, I have to rush 
over to my next gig in chapter 25.

AL ---- And what gig is that?

BILL -- (rubs his hands together) I'm taking over for your son 
at his marriage to ten virgins.

AL ---- How conforting.

BILL -- (points to exit) Oh, there's some illegal aliens! 
(shouts, exits) Hey, fellas, want a job building a vineyard?

AL ---- (shrugs exits opposite)


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