BACK

RHODA    4'1m1f Peter breaks out of jail, but noone believes it

(scene: bare stage except a free-standing door with edge to 
audience)

PETER -- (enters, knocks)

RHODA -- (ditzy, enters opposite) Who's there?

PETER -- (always whispers loudly) Rhoda, it's Peter.

RHODA -- (laughs) That's very funny. King Herod threw Peter in 
jail for preaching the resurrection of Jesus. Who's out there, 
really.

PETER -- Rhoda, it's really me. I broke out of jail.

RHODA -- No way Peter could have broken out of jail. He was 
hand-cuffed to two prison guards and there were two other prison 
guards guarding the door.

PETER -- Yes, but an angel of the Lord put them all to sleep and 
took off my hand cuffs. I walked right out of jail.

RHODA -- Oh, sure.

PETER -- Rhoda! Let me in! I'm a fugitive from the law.

RHODA -- Who are you really?

PETER -- Rhoda, let me in or I'll have you fired!

RHODA -- Fat chance. I've been a servant here for 10 years.

PETER -- Rhoda, let me in!

RHODA -- How do you know my name? Is this Harold from the 
singles ministry?

PETER -- No, I'm not Harold. I'm Peter. Let me in!

RHODA -- I'll bet this is Mordecai, the produce manager down at 
the market.

PETER -- Rhoda, I'm going to ring your neck!

RHODA -- My, aren't we feisty? Okay, if you're Peter, then 
you'll know what I'm wearing.

PETER -- Rhoda! I was thrown in jail yesterday. How do I know 
what you're wearing today?

RHODA -- Take a guess.

PETER -- Rhoda! If they catch me, they'll kill me! Just go get 
John. He'll let me in.

RHODA -- Sorry, John and the others are praying for Peter.

PETER -- But I'm Peter. Their prayers have been answered!

RHODA -- Oh, I've got it! You're the guy I ran into in the 
public library, right?

PETER -- Rhoda, when I get my hands on you, you are dead meat. 

RHODA -- I'm not afraid of a librarian.

PETER -- Remember, Ananias and Sapphira? I struck them dead right 
in front of me.

RHODA -- Peter did that. 

PETER -- I know that. I'm Peter.

RHODA -- Boy, you sure sound a lot like him.

PETER -- Rhoda! Let me in, or I'll break down this door!

RHODA -- Peter? Is that you?

PETER -- After I break the door down, I'm going to see to that 
you are eaten up by worms.

RHODA -- Peter? It IS you, isn't it?

PETER -- Yes. Now will you open the door and let me in?

RHODA -- John will be so excited! I have to tell John! (exiting) 
John! John! Peter is out of jail! John!

PETER -- Rhoda, don't go away. Rhoda! Just let me in! Rhoda, 
come back and open the door! Stupid woman! (pause)

RHODA -- (enters) Peter? Peter, are you still out there?

PETER -- Of course, I'm still out here. Where else would I go? 
I'll probably be here until the rapture.

RHODA -- Peter, I don't know how to tell you this, but John says 
that the person at the door is probably not Peter.

PETER -- Oh, great. And just who does he think is at the door?

RHODA -- He says you're probably an angel.

PETER -- Oh, really? Well, you go tell him that if he doesn't 
let me in in 30 seconds, his mother will be collecting on his 
life insurance and I will be writing the book of Revelation!

RHODA -- (exiting) Okay, I'll tell him.

PETER -- (aside) Calm down, Peter. The Lord got you out of 
jail. He can get you through a stupid door. Lord, if you have 
any fire and brimstone left over from Sodom and Gomorrah could you 
maybe....

RHODA -- (enters) ...Okay, Peter, John said that it's probably 
Peter out there.

PETER -- Then what are you waiting for?

RHODA -- Oh, yeah, I should open the door, ha. (pause) Okay, 
Peter, I'm going to open up the door now.

PETER -- That's very nice, Rhoda.

RHODA -- (opens door) Peter! It's you!

PETER -- Yes, isn't it though?! (starts to enter)

RHODA -- (stops him) Can I see some identification? 

PETER -- You know, I have never stuck a woman before, but...
(rolls up his sleeves)

RHODA -- (exits) John! John, help me!

PETER -- (follows) Rhoda, wait til I get my hands on you...


2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
but all copies must contain this copyright statement.
http://www.bobsnook.org  email: bob@bobsnook.org

BACK