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PIGS     5'1m*f RT: Jesus drives demons into a herd of pigs

(RT == Readers' Theater: requires little or no memorization,
little or no rehearsal. An indefinite number of reporters are
salted throughout the audience.)

PHILIP -- (enters wearing tunic and sandals, crosses to podium)

Good morning. My name is Philip. I am an apostle of our Lord
Jesus the messiah. I realize that you reporters were hoping to
hear from Jesus himself, but he is no longer in the area.

However, I will be happy to answer any questions you may have.

REPORTER -- Is it true that Jesus drove out more than one demon
this time?

PHILIP -- That's true. The demons identified themselves as
"legion", indicating that there were several of them.

REPORTER -- So, there were more than two demons?

PHILIP -- There were dozens.

REPORTER -- Some eye witnesses of this incident mention two
people were involved. Some eye witnesses say that only one
person was involved. Which is it?

PHILIP -- Both.

REPORTER -- Both?! How could this incident involve both one and
two people?

PHILIP -- The demons completely dominate the people they
possess. In the case of one of the victims, the demons prevented
him from talking. So, all of the interaction between the demons
and Jesus came from only one of the victims. Some people who
observed the interaction only saw one of them speaking, so he
assumed that only one of them was demonized.

REPORTER -- But you can now confirm that both victims are no
longer demonized?

PHILIP -- Yes.

REPORTER -- Can you tell us what happened to the victims?

PHILIP -- Yes. They went back to their families and have resumed
their normal lives.

REPORTER -- And what happened to the demons?

REPORTER -- Is it true that Jesus transferred the demons from
the men into a herd of pigs?

PHILIP -- That's true.

REPORTER -- Is it true that the pigs killed themselves
immediately thereafter?

PHILIP -- That is also true. They all ran into the Sea of
Galilee and drowned.

REPORTER -- Isn't it true that the owners of the pigs asked
Jesus to leave the area after the pigs drowned?

PHILIP -- Yes. That's why Jesus is not here for this press
conference.

REPORTER -- If Jesus is the long-awaited Messiah of Israel that
you claim he is, wouldn't he have known that transferring the
demons to the pigs would cause the pigs to kill themselves?

PHILIP -- I'm sure he did.

REPORTER -- Are you saying that Jesus deliberately caused the
deaths of dozens of pigs?

PHILIP -- That's what I'm saying.

REPORTER -- Why would he do such a thing?

PHILIP -- The Sea of Galilee is within the boundaries of Israel.

The tribe of Napthali is on the west shore and the tribe of
Manasseh is on the East shore.

REPORTER --I'm not sure this answers my question.

PHILIP -- The eating of pork is strictly prohibited in Israel.

The owners of the pigs were not only eating pork, they were
selling pork to other Jews. Transferring the demons to the pigs
solved the demon problem and the pork problem in one fell swoop.

REPORTER -- Are you saying that Jesus used the demons to punish
the pig herders?

PHILIP -- Clever, no?

REPORTER -- Did Jesus leave the area because he feared reprisals
from the pig herders?

PHILIP -- No. He left the area because the pig herders did not
repent of their obvious violation of Jewish law. Jesus will not
waste his time with people who won't repent.

REPORTER -- Where did the demons go after the pigs died?

PHILIP -- There is an abyss that God created for the punishment
and containment of demons until the end of the earth. The demons
from the pigs were sent to the abyss.

REPORTER -- Where did the demons come from originally?

PHILIP -- They were thrown out of Heaven when they helped Satan
in the rebellion.

REPORTER -- No, I mean, why were these men victimized by the
demons?

PHILIP -- These men were not victims anymore than the pig
herders were victims. We Jews were told in no uncertain terms to
avoid eating pork and to avoid false gods. But the people from
the tribes of Napthali and Manasseh violate both prohibitions as
a way of life. They not only associate with demons, they worship
demons just as their pagan neighbors do. People who worship
demons shouldn't be surprised when demons take control of their
lives.

REPORTER -- So, you're saying that this is their own fault?

PHILIP -- Those who don't learn from history are condemned to
repeat it. The tribes of Napthali and Manasseh were the first
tribes to be conquered by foreign armies because of idolatry.

Yet they continue to flout the Lord's commands. I think there's
a lesson here, don't you?

(exits)

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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