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PENTECOS 7'1m1f Newspaper coverage of Pentecost 

BOSS -- (enters, stands at podium, picks up two pages, compares 
them, crumples one, growls)

FERN -- (follows) Say, boss, I got a great story... (regards the 
crumpling and growling, turns, speaks to self) Now is obviously 
not a good time to....

BOSS -- Miss Nillman, what are you doing back here already? I 
sent you over to the temple to cover the Pentecost ceremony.

FERN -- (not turning back) Right, boss, I'll get right on it. 
(tip toes toward exit)

BOSS -- Freeze, Nillman!

FERN -- (freezes, doesn't turn back) Yes, boss?

BOSS -- Miss Nillman, who is the city editor of this newspaper?

FERN -- (turns slowly) You are, boss.

BOSS -- And when the city editor sends a cub reporter to cover a 
news story, shouldn't the cub reporter cover the story just as 
the city editor dispatched it?

FERN -- Yes, sir, but....

BOSS -- No buts, Miss Nillman. This is a newspaper. I expect you 
to cover the news.

FERN -- Well, I was on my way to the temple,...

BOSS -- ...And you saw a bigger story unfolding. Is that it?

FERN -- Well, yes, boss, this one was really...

BOSS -- ...This one was far more important than covering a 
bunch of priests sacrificing a grain offering on the day of 
first fruits.

FERN -- Well, on my way to the temple, I went by this house and 
there was a big roaring sound coming from inside, like a tornado 
or something and....

BOSS -- ...Miss Nillman, may I remind you of the last time you 
digressed from the story you were supposed to cover?

FERN -- You don't have to remind me, boss. I...

BOSS -- I think I should. It was exactly seven weeks ago today. 
I told you to go down to Joseph of Arimathea's tomb....

FERN -- ....Listen, I said I was sorry about that....

BOSS -- I told you that something big was going to happen at the 
tomb on the first day of the week. And sure enough something big 
happened, didn't it?

FERN -- I'm sorry, boss. But a daring rescue sounded more 
exciting than watching a dead man's tomb.

BOSS -- And what did that daring rescue turn out to be, Miss 
Nillman?

FERN -- (looking down, mumbling) A kitten up a tree.

BOSS -- I'm sorry, I didn't hear that. What was that again?

FERN -- I said, it turned out to be a kitten up a tree....

BOSS -- ...And what happened while you were wasting your time 
covering that stupid cat?

FERN -- It was cute little cuddly kitten and his name was 
Mittens.

BOSS -- Miss Nillman do you like working here at the Jerusalem 
Gazette?

FERN -- Alright, while I was off chasing a false lead, Jesus' 
body disappeared from the tomb. You were right and I was wrong.

BOSS -- Thank you.

FERN -- But story this is different, boss. 

BOSS -- Miss Nillman, the people of Jerusalem are counting on us 
to report the Pentecost ceremony at the temple today.

FERN -- Yes, but listen, boss, the big roaring sound wasn't all 
that went on at that house this morning.

BOSS -- To the temple. (points)

FERN -- There was a fire....

BOSS -- ...Out! (turns) A fire? Did you say a fire?

FERN -- Yes, it appeared from nowhere during the big roar and 
divided up into twelve small fires and each fire landed on the 
heads of the twelve apostles. 

BOSS -- (turns away) Oh, brother.

FERN -- What.

BOSS -- Miss Nillman, I'm not sure you're cut out to be a 
reporter.

FERN -- What do you mean?

BOSS -- First of all, there are only eleven apostles left.

FERN -- Oh, that.

BOSS -- Yes, that. One of the apostles...

FERN -- ...I know what you're going to say, boss. Judas Iscariot 
killed himself. But just before the big roar and the fire came 
down, the apostles appointed a replacement for Judas. His name 
is Mathias. So, we're back to twelve apostles.

BOSS -- Alright, I'm listening. Let's get back to the fire.

FERN -- FireS. There were twelve fires, one fire on the head of 
each apostle. And get this: Nobody got burned.

BOSS -- Miss Nillman, have you been drinking?

FERN -- It's ten o'clock in the morning, boss. Funny you should 
say that, though.

BOSS -- Why?

FERN -- Because some of the people at the house accused the 
apostles of being drunk.

BOSS -- Well, liquor IS flammable.

FERN -- That's not why they accused them of drinking, boss.

BOSS -- This better be good, Miss Nillman. Because while you're 
standing here wasting time, you're missing half of the first 
fruits ceremony at the temple. You know, a lot of our female 
readers are dying to know what people are wearing to the 
ceremony.

FERN -- They spoke in foreign tongues.

BOSS -- That's it?! They spoke foreign languages? That's your 
big scoop?!

FERN -- Well, sure. Don't you think that's amazing?

BOSS -- Miss Nillman, I will remind you that during the feast of 
Pentecost, Jews come to Jerusalem from as far away Africa, 
Europe, and Asia. Of course, they were speaking foreign 
languages! They're foreigners! Get over to the temple right now!

FERN -- But, boss, it wasn't the foreigners who were speaking in 
tongues. It was the apostles.

BOSS -- (condescending) Isn't that special.

FERN -- You don't understand, boss. These guys are all locals. 
None of them have ever been out of the country. They've never 
been to school. But they all spoke foreign languages so the 
foreigners could understand what was going on.

BOSS -- And just what was GOING ON besides the temple ceremony 
that my readers will never read about?

FERN -- Peter, the head apostle, told everybody that flames and 
the speaking in tongues were proof that the Holy Spirit of God 
had descended from heaven as predicted by Jesus and by the 
prophet Joel. (opens notebook) Want to hear the quote?

BOSS -- I thought Peter denied he even knew Jesus. Now, he's 
saying that Jesus is the fulfillment of Joel's prophecy?

FERN -- (reads) "In the last days, God says, I will pour out my 
Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophecy, 
your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams. 
Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my 
Spirit in those days, and they will prophesy. I will show 
wonders in the heaven above and signs on the earth below, blood 
and fire and billows of smoke." (looks up) So, what do you 
think?

BOSS -- Did Peter mention King David?

FERN -- Funny you should ask, boss. He recited some of David's 
prophecies and said that the prophecies proved that Jesus was 
Messiah the King. I wrote down David's prophecies. I can read 
them to you.... (flips pages)

BOSS -- Jesus disappeared seven weeks ago today. That was also 
on a Sunday.

FERN -- Yeah, apparently all the believers meet together every 
Sunday to commemorate the resurrection of Jesus.

BOSS -- (crosses by Fern toward exit) I'd better get over there 
myself.

FERN -- (follows) Listen, boss, I can cover the temple ceremony.

BOSS -- (turns) I'm not going to the temple. I'm going to that 
house. Show me the way. (points to exit)

FERN -- Hey, I know you're the boss here, but this is my scoop.

BOSS -- You've got more than a scoop, here, Miss Nillman.

FERN -- What do you mean, boss?

BOSS -- Jesus really WAS the messiah. And he rose from the 
dead, just like they said.

FERN -- And you accuse ME of drinking?

BOSS -- I'll explain it to you on the way. Let's go. (exits)

FERN -- (follows) Say, you're not thinking of becoming a 
Christian, are you, boss?

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