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LOSTCOIN 4'?m1f Monologue: the parable of the lost coin(ring)

While I was eating lunch with my friends the other day, I looked
down at my hand...

(demonstrates, gasps, pats pockets, looks frantically at
surroundings)

I noticed that my ring... my wedding ring was missing!

Someone at the table asked calmly, "Where were you when you last
saw it on your finger?"

(pauses, tilts head)

"I... I don't know. At home I think."

(pumps arms as if walking quickly)

And with that I got up from the table and hurried home.

(moves left and right, ducking and snooping)

Now where was I when I last saw it? Well, there's only one place
in the house where I ever remove my ring. That's the bathroom.
So, I hurried to the bathroom and looked on the sink and the
surrounding counters. Nothing.

The drawers. Nothing.

The floors, the tub. Nothing.

(fingers to forehead)

Wait. Stop and think.

(walking motion)

The kitchen. Maybe my ring fell off my hand when I was scrubbing
pots or something. Nothing.

Well, maybe it fell into the garbage disposal.

(reaches down, grimaces)

Egg shells. Apple corps.

(pastes on fake smile)

Well, the garbage is still in there. At least I didn't grind my
ring into small pieces.

So, one, by one, I removed each piece of garbage...

(demonstrates)

..checking each piece to see if my wedding ring was hidden in
it. Nothing. And when the disposal was empty, I felt around the
bottom. Nothing. It HAS to be there!

(shines imaginary flashlight down the hole)

So, I found a flashlight and I moved aside enough of those
little rubber flaps to shine the light into the disposal.
Nothing. The drawers. Nothing. The floors. Nothing.

(walking motion)

Back to the bathroom. Maybe I took my ring off, but it fell down
the drain. I shined the flash light down the drain. Hopeless. So
I found a wrench...

(demonstrates)

...and took off the drain trap. Then...

(grimaces)

I carefully poured the smelly contents into a bowl. Nothing.

(snaps fingers)

There's a waste basket next to the sink. Maybe I accidentally
swept my ring off the counter into the trash!

(bends, picks up imaginary trash, points)

Oh oh! I just emptied the trash this morning!

(walking motion)

Out to the garage.

(gasps)

Oh, oh! Trash day!

(walking motion)

Out to the curb. Oh, oh! The trash cans are empty. The trash
haulers were already here! To the phone!

(imaginary phone to ear)

Hi, I lost my wedding ring and I think it may have ended up in
the trash truck. Can you tell me where I might intercept the
truck? Thanks!

(hangs up, steers imaginary car)

Into the car and down the street to the next neighborhood. Here
comes the truck just like she said.

(waves arms over head, shouts)

Stop. Stop. Please stop.

Yeah, hi. I think my wedding ring ended up in the trash in your
truck...

You're kidding. You just emptied the truck? Where? At the land
fill. How do I get there?

(steers car)

Into the car and down the highway to the landfill.

Yeah, hi. My trash truck driver said he just emptied his truck.
Truck number 332.

(points)

That bull dozer over there? Thanks.

(pumps arms, shouts, up to driver while walking along side)

I'm sorry to bother you, but could you tell me where truck 332
just emptied its load?

(sighs)

You're kidding! (points over shoulder) You mean that whole mound
of garbage came out of one truck?! Well, thanks. A ring. I lost
my wedding ring. It's probably in a small white plastic bag.

(turns, normal voice, mock enthusiasm)

Well! There can't be more than four or five HUNDRED white
plastic bags in there!

I waded into knee-deep garbage picking through and tearing open
all the white plastic bags I could find. After an hour the bull
dozer driver came by.

(shouts)

"You still at it?"

(sighs)

Yeah. Still at it.

"You say you're looking for a ring?"

(shouts)

Yeah. My wedding ring.

"How many carrots?"

(shouts)

Excuse me?

"How big is the diamond? Must be a big rock if you're going to
all that trouble."

(shouts)

There's no diamond in it. Just a plain gold band.

"You're wading through all this garbage and going to all this
trouble for a plain gold band?!"

(shouts)

I have an emotional attachment to it.

Well, to make a long story shorter, an hour later I found my
garbage and I found my ring.

So, why am I telling you all of this? Because Jesus has the same
emotional attachment to his lost people. He had to wade through
a lot of garbage to get you back. I just hope you appreciate his
emotional attachment to you.

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
but all copies must contain this copyright statement.
http://www.bobsnook.org  email: bob@bobsnook.org

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