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KUNGFU   3'3m1f Non-traditional three wise men from the east

MAGI -- (dressed in Kung Fu gear, enter, push door bell, a gong
sounds, all bow when Mary comes to the door)

MARY -- Yes?

M1 -- (all Magi merely move their mouths out of sync and out of
time with voiceover dialogue, one offstage voice speaks lines
for all three Magi) Who are you?

MARY -- My name is Mary, mother of Jesus. Who are you?

M2 -- We are three Magi from the East.

(gong sounds, all bow)

MARY --  From the East? You don't look like Arabs.

M3 -- (Jumps at Mary, grabs Mary's neck, makes a fist, ready to 
strike) Is the lowly woman making fun of us? I shall remove some 
teeth.

M1 -- Perhaps not, Grasshopper. Let her explain.

(M3 --  backs off)

MARY -- You said you were from the East. Arabia is to the east
of here. 

M2 -- (signals M3 to layoff MARY) We are not from ALLABIA.

MARY -- ALLABIA? Did you say ALLABIA?

M3 -- (Jumps at Mary, grabs Mary's neck, makes a fist, ready to
strike) She makes fun of us. Let me break something.

M1 -- (signals M3 away) No, grasshopper, she may know something 
about the baby we seek. Young woman, we bling gleetings flom 
King HELLOD.

MARY --  We BLING GLEETINGS FLOM KING HELLOD?

M3 -- (Jumps at Mary, grabs Mary's neck, makes a fist, ready to
strike) Just one shot. Let me give her just one shot.

M1 -- (signals M3 away) No, grasshopper. Is not King HELLOD the 
king of this country?

MARY -- Oh! You bring greetings from King Herod.

MAGI -- (Gong sounds, all bow, speak in their own voices) Ah, 
so, King HELLOD.

M2 -- We seek the baby who is thought to be the son of God.

MARY -- Oh, you're looking for my son, Jesus.

M2 -- No, I said the son of God.

MARY -- Oh, my son Jesus IS the son of God.

M1 -- But you have no wedding ring on your finger. How could
could you give birth to the son of God?

MARY -- Oh, I am a virgin. The baby was conceived by the Holy
Spirit.

MAGI -- (Look at one another and smirk and wink, speak in their 
own voices) Right.

MARY -- No, really! Many shepherds have already come with 
greetings from angels confirming that my son Jesus is the son of 
God. Do you believe me?

M3 -- (shakes head no, moves mouth no, offstage voice says:) 
Yes.

MARY -- So, why do you want to see my son?

M1 -- I have gold.

M2 -- I have flank incense.

M3 -- I have Mull.

MARY -- MULL?

M3 -- (Jumps at Mary, grabs Mary's neck, makes a fist, ready to 
strike) The lowly woman makes fun of us. Let me draw brood.

M2 -- (Waves off M3) What grasshopper is trying to say is that 
MULL is a burial spice which symborizes the death of the Son of 
God.

MARY -- Murr! You mean murr! 

MAGI -- (All bow, gong, speak in their own voices) Ah, so.

M1 -- And Gold, which symborizes the baby's royalty.

M2 -- And Flank Incense, which symborizes the baby's priesthood.

MARY -- So, you want to bring gifts to my son Jesus? 

MAGI -- (All bow, gong, speak in their own voices) Ah, so.

MARY -- And you're not going to hurt him in any way?

M3 -- (nods, but voice says:) No.

MARY --  Then, right this way, Gentlemen.

(Mary exits, followed singly by MAGI holding up their gifts)

M1 -- Gold.

M2 -- Frank incense.

M3 -- Spice.


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