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HUCKSTER 4'1m*f RT: The parable of the dishonest steward

(RT == Readers' Theater: requires little or no memorization,
little or no rehearsal. An indefinite number of reporters are
salted throughout the audience.)

HUCKSTER -- (enters wearing tunic and sandals, wrists chained,
crosses to podium) The bailiff said that there were some news
reporters out here to ask me some questions. Is this press
conference for me?

REPORTER -- Your name is J.D. Huckster?

HUCKSTER -- Yes.

REPORTER -- What is the charge against you?

HUCKSTER -- I'm about to go on trial for fraud.

REPORTER -- Who were you accused of defrauding?

HUCKSTER -- I'm a business manager. I manage several businesses
for a wealthy businessman here in Jerusalem. As his business
manager, I'm in charge of collecting payments from his
customers.

REPORTER -- What did you steal from him?

HUCKSTER -- Well, I didn't really STEAL anything. One customer
who owed my boss eight hundred gallons of olive oil, I had him
change his invoice to four hundred gallons. Another customer who
owe my boss a thousand bushels of wheat, I told him to change
his invoice to eight hundred.

REPORTER -- So, you didn't pocket the money yourself?

HUCKSTER -- No.

REPORTER -- What was in it for you?

HUCKSTER -- My boss was going to fire me for incompetence. I had
spent too much time at the camel races and too little time
managing my boss' business affairs and he was losing money. But
I didn't have another job lined up. So, I thought that if I
saved some of my boss's customers some money, they might offer
me a job after I got fired.

REPORTER -- So, you gave away some of your boss's money in order
to buy yourself a new job?

HUCKSTER -- That about sums it up.

REPORTER -- How do you intend to plead?

HUCKSTER -- I'm guilty. I'll plead guilty.

REPORTER -- According to my notes, you're not the kind of man
who takes responsibility for anything bad. Why the change of
heart?

HUCKSTER -- I met Jesus.

REPORTER -- You wouldn't just happen to be the dishonest steward
that Jesus spoke about in his parables, would you?

HUCKSTER -- Yes. I would. I gave Jesus permission to use my
name, but he just called me the dishonest steward.

REPORTER -- Why would Jesus use a seedy character like you as an
example in his parables?

HUCKSTER -- Actually, I asked him the same question. He told me
that there is a tendency among believers to devalue the
importance of money and to look down on the people who have a
lot of money. But Jesus never preached against money or the
people who have a lot of money. He only preached against the
love of money more than relationships. Even among believers
there are those who use people to get money. But Jesus talked
about me as an example of someone who used money to gain
relationships.

REPORTER -- So, Jesus is not saying that it's okay to be
dishonest?

HUCKSTER -- If it was, I would not be pleading guilty and
voluntarily going to prison. The point Jesus was making in the
parable was that believers are not to divest themselves of all
worldly possessions and resign themselves to a life of poverty.
Christians must learn how to become SHREWD in matters of money
and possessions.

REPORTER -- Does SHREWD mean dishonest?

HUCKSTER -- Just the opposite. SHREWD means brutally honest.
Christians have a tendency to deny or minimize problems.

(sings) Oh, everything is just fine!

But Jesus used me as an example of one who objectively and
accurately evaluated a difficult situation.

REPORTER -- How SHREWD is it to end up in jail?

HUCKSTER -- Dishonesty aside, Jesus talked about me as an
example because I evaluated a drastic situation quickly and took
decisive action quickly. Many Christian's persist in a state of
denial until it's too late. Unfortunately, I chose a dishonest
solution. Now that I've trusted Jesus for my future, decisive
action in MY case now calls for paying my debt to society.

REPORTER -- What will you do after you have paid your debt to
society?

HUCKSTER -- After I get out of jail, I will do the kind of thing
I did before.

REPORTER -- You mean you'll go back to being a business manager?

HUCKSTER -- Yes. I'll do the same job because it's what I'm
gifted and talented for. But I'll do the job quite differently
next time. Before I met Jesus I VALUED money and USED people.
But now that I dedicated my life to Jesus I intend to USE money
and value people. I pray for God's help that I may never get the
two reversed ever again. Now, please excuse me. I have to pay my
debt to society. (exits)

REPORTER -- Thank you, Mr Huckster.

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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