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DEMON    5'4m0f The disciples could not drive out the demon

RALPH -- (enters, feeling his way along, stops) This place is
creepy. I can't see a thing. Are you sure he's in here?

MAURY -- (enters, feels his way along, feels high and low) Yeah,
his mother said top of the stairs, first door on the left.
(bumps Ralph) Well, what are you waiting for? Let's heal him.

RALPH -- She said the boy was demon possessed.

MAURY -- Silly goose! He's only a little boy. How dangerous
could the demon be? Come on. (leads, feeling the way)

RALPH -- Wait for me! (feeling the way) Maury!

MAURY -- What.

RALPH -- Where are you?

DEMON -- (small boy enters, stands expressionless,
closed-mouthed, deep bass voiceover) He's right over here.

MAURY -- (finds Maury) Oh, thank you.

DEMON -- Your welcome.

RALPH -- Maury?

MAURY -- Yeah.

RALPH -- Who was that?

MAURY -- That was him.

RALPH -- Him? Him Whom?

MAURY -- The kid.

RALPH -- Maury, that was no kid. That was a...

BOTH --- (scream)

MAURY -- Let's get out of here!

RALPH -- Which way is out?

MAURY -- What difference does it make? Lets just go.

RALPH -- What difference does it make? We don't want to get any
closer to... that!

MAURY -- Wait. Let's not panic. We came here to drive out a
demon. Let's drive out a demon. Go ahead and light the lamp.

RALPH -- I didn't bring the lamp. I thought you brought the
lamp.

MAURY -- That's okay. I'm not sure I want to look him in the face
anyway.

DEMON -- What are you doing here?

MAURY -- Ah, we're disciples of Jesus and we we came here to
ah,... drive out a demon.

RALPH -- ...if it's alright with you.

DEMON -- (growls)

RALPH -- I don't think it's alright with him, Maury.

MAURY -- We don't need his permission, Ralph. He's just a demon,
remember?

DEMON -- (growls)

RALPH -- Don't make him angry, Maury.

MAURY -- What are you saying, Ralph? We're Christians. Jesus
gave us authority to drive out demons. You can't hurt us, you
big stupid demon.

DEMON -- (growls) You little pip squeak. I'll squash you like a
bug.

RALPH -- Is it really necessary make him mad, Maury? Nice demon.
Nice demon.

DEMON -- (growls)

MAURY -- Alright, demon, you asked for it. Now you've
made me mad. I rebuke you in the name of Jesus. Now come out of
that little boy!

DEMON -- (growls)

RALPH -- What happened, Maury? That rebuking stuff always worked
before. Maybe he didn't hear you.

MAURY -- (clears throat) I rebuke you in the name of Jesus.

DEMON -- (growls)

MAURY -- This doesn't seem to be working, Ralph. Maybe we should
look it up in the manual.

RALPH -- It's too dark in here to read the manual, Maury.

MAURY -- Oh, yeah. Well, it's a good thing we're Christian's,
because demons don't have any control over us.

DEMON -- Oh, yeah? Does it feel a little cool in here, Ralph?
(boy points at Ralph)

RALPH -- (shivers, rubs arms) You know, now that you mention it,
it does seem a little chilly. I shoulda brought a sweater.

MAURY -- Ralph, can't you see what he's doing? He doesn't have
any control over us. Demons are liars and deceivers. He's just
using the power of suggestion on you.

DEMON -- That's a terrible case of poison ivy you have there,
Maury. (boy points at Maury)

MAURY -- (scratches forearm) Where in the world would I get
poison ivy from? (scratches all over) Ralph, did we walk through
any weeds to get here?

RAPLH -- (shivering) Maury, I think you're right. I think this
is all just the power of suggestion. But why am I so cold?

MAURY -- (scratching frantically) I know what he's doing. He's
just trying to distract us from our original mission, and that
was to drive out a demon. Ralph, could you just scratch (points)
right here, right in the middle of my back. I can't reach.

RAPLH -- Sure, Maury. (scratches)

MAURY -- (scratching) Fortunately for us, Ralph, Jesus said he'd
be stopping by here to see how we did.

RALPH -- (shivering, rubbing) He is? He's coming here?

MAURY -- (scratching) Yeah.

RALPH -- I hope he brings a jacket. It's cold in here.

JESUS -- (enters) You have so little faith. I tell you the
truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say
to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move.
Nothing will be impossible for you."

MAURY -- Listen, Jesus, could you just scratch me, right here on 
my shoulder blade? (points)

JESUS -- Ye of little faith. I rebuke this demon in the name of
God. (boys runs to Jesus with opens arms and a bright smile)

RALPH -- Well, somebody finally turned the heat on.

MAURY -- Hey, look my poison ivy is gone.

JESUS -- So is the demon. Let's give this boy back to his
mother. (guides boy to exit)

RALPH -- (follows) Listen, Jesus, nobody has to know that we
couldn't drive out the demon ourselves, do they? (exits,
scratching)

MAURY -- (follows, shivering, rubbing arms) Say, is it just me
or is it getting a little chilly in here? (exits)


2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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