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DELUSION 4'2m?f Peter walks on water, almost

(scene: two chairs facing each other)

DOC ---- (enters wearing white lab coat, carrying file folders,
stops, turns, shouts to exit) Send in Simon, Son of Jonah.
(sits)

PETER -- (enters wearing tunic, sandals, bound with ropes or
straight jacket) Listen, Doctor, there's been a big mistake. I
really don't belong here. I'm no threat to anyone. Can you
please get someone to untie me?

DOC ---- You're Simon son of Jonah?

PETER -- Yes. But they call me Peter.

DOC ---- (reading file folder, points casually to other chair)
Sit down, please.

PETER -- (approaches) Look, if you'll check my file, you'll see
that I never tried to hurt anyone.

DOC ---- (reading file folder, points casually to other chair)
Sit down, please.

PETER -- Oh, very well! (sits)

DOC ---- Your name is Simon.

PETER -- Yes.

DOC ---- But they call you Peter.

PETER -- Yes.

DOC ---- How long have you wanted to be someone you're not?

PETER -- Excuse me?

DOC ---- It looks to me like you're trying to assume the
identity of someone else.

PETER -- No! Peter is just my nickname. Jesus wanted me to see 
my future as a more substantial person by calling me Rocky. 
That's what Peter means. Peter means Rocky.

DOC ---- You have an imaginary friend named Jesus?

PETER -- He's real. I'll introduce him to you if you just unbind
me and let me go. (stands, turns)

DOC ---- (reading file folder, points casually to other chair)
Sit down, please.

PETER -- (sits) This is unbelievable!

DOC ---- The report says you have delusions of grandeur.

PETER -- Delusions of grandeur?

DOC ---- A God complex.

PETER -- Me?! No! That's preposterous! I never claimed to be
God!

DOC ---- Well I suppose it's possible that the intake worker
made a mistake but....

PETER -- (stands, turns back to Doc) Good, then, unbind me,
please?!

DOC ---- (reading file folder, points casually to other chair)
Sit down, please.

PETER -- (sitting) Why won't anybody listen to me?!

DOC ---- Where did the authorities get the idea that you had
delusions of grandeur?

PETER -- Well, I suppose it could be that I, ah, (softly) I
tried to walk on water.

DOC ---- (writing) You tried to walk on water?

PETER -- That's right.

DOC ---- Uh huh! And did you succeed in walking on water?

PETER -- No. I got soaking wet. It was one of the most
embarrassing moments of my life. So, you see, this has been just
one big misunderstanding. (stands) So if you'll just...

DOC ---- (reading file folder, points casually to other chair)
Sit down, please.

PETER -- (sits, sighs)

DOC ---- What gave you the idea to attempt to walk on water?

PETER -- I saw Jesus doing it.

DOC ---- (writing) You saw Jesus doing it?

PETER -- Yes.

DOC ---- Jesus, your imaginary friend.

PETER -- I told you, he's not imaginary! He's as real as you and
I! He's out there right now. I'm supposed to be with him. So,
can you please....

DOC ---- You say you saw Jesus walking on water.

PETER -- Yes, in the middle of the Sea of Galilee. He approached
the boat we were in and....

DOC ---- He approached the boat.

PETER -- Yes.

DOC ---- Walking on the water.

PETER -- Yes. I know it sounds a little.... unusual. But...

DOC ---- But what?

PETER -- Well, he IS the messiah, after all.

DOC ---- The messiah?

PETER -- The savior of the world. The Son of God.

DOC ---- So, the way you're trying to wiggle out of this is to
push the delusion of grandeur off onto somebody who is not here
and is not able to defend himself?

PETER -- That's right. No. That's not right.

DOC ---- Well, which is it?

PETER -- I'm not claiming to be God. I never did. But Jesus
did... does... claim to be God.

DOC ---- (writing) Uh huh.

PETER -- You don't believe me?

DOC ---- Well, I can't say I've ever heard anything like it
before.

PETER -- Well, it's true. If you don't believe me, talk to the
others.

DOC ---- The others.

PETER -- Yes, there were twelve of us in the boat.

DOC ---- Twelve of you.

PETER -- Yes.

DOC ---- (writing) Group hysteria! Very Interesting.

PETER -- Group hysteria?!

DOC ---- (stands) Yes! This could be my big break! I smell
government grants and publications! I'll be famous! You can read
about it in Psychology Today! (shouts to exit, exiting) Take the
patient back to his padded cell.

PETER -- (follows) It's not group hysteria if it really
happened! Jesus really did walk on water! All twelve of us saw
him!

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